Exceptional 450 words: Scrambling for understanding. Dialogue With Dad by LisaMay Dialogue Only Writing Contest contest entry

Hey, Dad, I’ve arranged for us to go away for the weekend! I want to treat you to one of the beauties of New Zealand. No, no, I couldn’t! Your mother wouldn’t approve at all! Oh, to hell with it, let’s not tell her! I’ll need the whole weekend to work up to it, though … though, though, soft as dough… Don’t be naughty, Dad. I’m taking you to see New Zealand’s highest mountain. My curiosity is piqued! We’re going to peek at a peak! But what about crossing the ocean? Have you bought a boat? Pardon? You know, to cross the sea to get to New Zealand. But Dad, we ARE in New Zealand, and it’s only a few hours’ drive away to get to Mount Cook. …. Since when? I like living here in Australia. Since last year, Dad. Now you live here with me and Sam. In New Zealand. But I’m an Australian. I should be in Australia. I’m an Aussie too, remember? But you came to live here after Mum died so you and I can be together. Let’s just pretend this house is an offshore state of Australia. We’ll get an Aussie flag, OK? New Zealand has some lovely places and I want to show you one this weekend. Why? If we go there, we’ll only have to come back again to Australia. Will you take me away in your boat? I like boats. Your mother and I eloped in a boat. Haha… wear my coat to float my boat… we ran away to see, what our life might be, we were full of glee, and now I have to pee… No I don’t, I was being silleeee. Well, another reason for going away is that I need a change of scene! … scene, scene, don’t be mean… Are you leaving me here by myself, Alice? Why can’t I come? … bum, bum, titty, bum… Who’s Sam? … sam likes jam better than spam… Relax, Dad. I’m Hannah, your daughter, not Mum. We’ll be together and we’ll have a lovely time. I’ve packed what we need. Sam’s been my husband for the past twenty-five years – he’s staying home to feed the cat. Except we don’t have a cat any more. Let’s hop in the car now. Did I remember to tell you I was sorry about the cat? … drat, oh drat… cat went splat, now it’s flat… hop, hop, can’t stop, let’s bop, kangaroo stew with bandicoot brew… now I need to poo in the loo… OK. I can take a hint, Dad. Toilet break before we leave. Do you remember which door it is? Do you need some help again? No, thanks. I’ll ask Alice to help me. *  *  * Recognized Author Notes Author's Note: 1.) The photo shows Lake Pukaki and Aoraki / Mount Cook, the highest mountain in New Zealand. It lies in the Southern Alps, the mountain range which runs the length of the South Island. Since 2014, its height is listed as 3,724 metres (12,217 ft). A major rockslide occurred in December 1991, and subsequent erosion has worn the mountain down from its previous height of 3,764 m (12, 349 ft). 2.) This is not intended as a cheap shot for laughs at dementia. It reflects the loss of memory, scrambled thoughts, humour in convoluted conversations, childish regression coupled with flashes of the victim's previous intelligence and wit, stress on family members, and great patience required when there is someone in the house suffering from Alzheimer's Disease. I looked after my father in this situation for his last 8 years. This story has been embroidered for the sake of a more entertaining read. Dad and I did get to see Mt Cook together, and that in itself will make for another entertaining story. Dad wouldn't mind me telling it. Although he might prefer that I write a poem about it.

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