I love the English language it really is so good
when I write words or speak in it I'm always understood,
well perhaps not every time, some foreigners won't agree
they scratch their heads when I speak, then just stare at me.
Spelling trips them up I think, the way words sound the same
like two and too and to, it's like a flippin' game,
there and their are hard ones for them to understand
homophones are confusing, I think they should be banned.
Where and wear spring to mind along with cousin ware
steel and steal, sail and sale, their inventors didn't care,
for strangers trying hard to learn a language not their own
thrown right in the deep end, or should that be spelled throne.
Week and weak, what's with that? It'll make their spelling pour
I think that should be poor, but I can't be all that sure,
maybe I meant shore, I really just don't know
it's enough to make them crazy, out of their heads they'll go.
All foreigners will leave our land, they'll jump upon a plain
or plane maybe be correct, this language is insane,
it's hard enough to here, oops! Hear I think I mean
they won't be back and certainly won't forget where they have bean.
I don't know why the words are maid to trip them up, for sure
I wonder if there is a fix, or even some outlandish cure,
already messed up two words, maid and made, I see,
maybe I should stop worrying and just should let it be.
Learning the English language is a gambol every day ,
now I've gone and done it again, gamble's what I meant to say,
I was about to end this tail, no tale, I think I've made my point,
then I found another problem that got my nose right out of joint.
When to use affect and effect, now that's a problem, true,
and what about a lot, when alot, I'm sure would do?
a while I know is really, awhile? It's often done that way,
accept and except is the greatest puzzle, or is it lie and lay?
Allusion or illusion has been known to make folks sick,
One means a subtle hint and the other a magician's trick.
amoral means you have no principles, either good or bad,
and immoral means you've decided good is always sad.
Apart is how they feel right now, from most English words, in truth,
a part is something else, like a part of my brain was left in youth.
So if you chance to read this rime, I mean rhyme, patient you must be,
and know if you are bemused or amused, it all sounds the same to me.
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Author Notes
Thanks for the wonderful artwork, the student and the professor, by Bertodi.
Fez and I work together on yet another tongue in cheek poem about the English language.
Feral's part: 1-5
My part: 6-10
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