Warning: The author has noted that this contains the highest level of violence. Warning: The author has noted that this contains the highest level of language. Horror is not mine alone Trick of darkness blood and bone Oozing oil stretching fingers Darkness folds, coldness lingers  Grab the light to burn the black Cut the stream and send it back Malevolence will pause, fight. Brings to bear its awful might Isolation not be true Dumps in pots and set to brew. Permanence, not carved in stone Horror is not mine alone   ************************************present   While I write this particular book, I'm also watching and working with book one called 'Ghost'. It needs to be right and true, as I know it and remember it to be. One thing the parents constantly drove into our heads is that we were liars. That our memories were lies. That we were suffering from some kind of false memory syndrome. Okay... funny how all three of us have the same false memories.   At the same time book two 'Spectre' also needs the same care and proper attention as the first.    My mind is constantly moving back-and-forth in time. Different spots on my journey, each section has its own life, it's own ability to express itself. All with one serious goal in mind. Knowledge...give knowledge. Tell what I know and what I've seen so we can protect all our young ones. All of our elderly, all our wives. Even husbands as they too get abused.  It's also to show what comes after abuse. The long road to recovery it is becomes a difficult to get over if you ever really do. The repercussions, the collateral damage, the scars we wear plus the heavy load of emotional baggage.  Then at the same time do our utmost to try to fit in with the people around us. None of this stops when you walk out the door... It drags along behind you like an old ball and chain, always in pursuit of the key.   *** We went to the woods today. It's cold, clear and crystalline out in the open. My little fuzzy girl was smiling in the sun, my canine caper pooch dressed in her gold winter jacket. Other than my sister. My friend and pomeranian companion live a pretty isolated life. My mind is wandering, my eyes are drifting from sight to sight watching the beauty that surrounds me still.    In the summer, I like to be barefoot. I like to have my feet in the grass or in the dirt when gardening or walking. Enjoying my feet in the soul and my hands sifting it without gloves. I like to feel connected to the eartb. My plants dont mind!  Seems I'm gonna have plenty of time to think while I wait for documents. This is when the ball rolls fastest, looking for the correct lawyer that handles such cases while we wait for DNA tests soon to arrive. The hard copy evidence will arrive, then the always present back and forth of red tape.   I feel this sense of urgency. It also seems like it's all going to happen at once, such is the nature of my Rollercoaster life. I'm going to take this time of quiet and of waiting to genuflect some more. Concentrate on the written words...well...try anyway.   The bus going backwards in time has arrived.  Time to connect with the determined and pissed off girl.   Time to go back again to the young person on the floor....   *****************************past   There was a ringing in my ears...a high pitched squeal which slowly decreased in volume. Angry bees buzzed around my skull looking for purchase or a place to hang.  Somebody shook me which caused my head to thump. I opened my eyes and saw Mrs. D looking at me with a concerned and panicked expression on her face. "Joo must get up! Quickly now!" Too late. Mr. D hauled me and his wife by our arms onto our feet. He pointed to the kitchen and snarled at us. I was still in a daze and the lump behind my ear wasn't helping. On the floor I saw the offending object. It was a stone carving of a monkey about four inches tall.  Mr. D roughly hauled us both up the stairs, while I was shook off the vertigo. In the kitchen he pointed to the table while he waited impatiently by it. We both sat. Mr. D pointed at me then pointed at his head.  I just looked at him. Rapid-fire words snapped out of his mouth and Mrs. D translated. He said, "Joo are fine, only put joo to sleep for a few seconds." I looked up at Mr. D, which made my head thump. He just glared at me. Mr. D started shooting off a bunch more words to his wife. This time a longer batch. "What did he have to say this time?" I thought now that my head was clearing. Again, Mrs. D translated. "He say, joo have uhm...come between too much. Joo too busy. Joo push way in, now joo stay.  Joo can be like the others..." She tapered off and looked at me. "What?" I asked. "What am I missing? What does that mean? Be like the others?" "He say, joo can be...bedroom wife." "Like fuck!!" I blurted. Mr. D made a move towards me. Mrs. D quickly raised her hand to her husband and patted my leg showing me a hands down sign as if to say, "calm yourself...wait." I strained to hold back the rage for Mrs. D's sake as she requested. Shaking in my seat, I slowly got myself under control. I kept telling myself, "Be smart. You've done this before. You know how to do this. You know how to get through." But this time there's two small children and a woman involved. I didn't know if I could get them through without being faster, stronger or smarter than the average bear. I didn't even know if Mrs. D was on board. I held onto the idea she was and forced myself into silence and stillness. I purposely turned my gaze to the kitchen window while I continued to struggle with my temper. Pale streaks from the golden orb began to climb over the horizon. Orange fingers of light grip the mountain tops to lift the sun into the sky. Even looking at the splendor, in my head, I'm on constant alert for the man hovering over us delivering us his nastiest look. This wont last long with me. I needed to have a few minutes alone with Mrs. D. I needed to get us out.   I needed to at least try.... ************************ Present   That was a scary time but, oddly enough, not as scary as it would have been had I not experienced it before. Sometimes life just climatizes people and we forget to be shocked at certain things. Not a disassociation per se, just a knowledge that experience rides along right beside fear. They somehow cancel each other out in certain aspects.   I bid you all wonderful days and may all your hopes and dreams come true!   This is the time of year for that you know...hopes.... Recognized Author Notes This chapter is part of book two in a series of three, called Specter. The first book is called Ghost and can be found in my portfolio if you'd like to read. Please note, some chapters are hard to absorb. Reader discretion is advised.

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