Haven’t washed my face in quite a while, and it shows,
And someone said a booger’s hanging right down from my nose.
My teeth are kind of slimy, and my tongue is turning black.
Among my many faults, is general hygiene that I lack.
My belly-button’s full of lint plus sand and dirt and goo.
Last week I lost a marble, and perhaps it’s in there too.
My ears are full of wax, and I just know my armpits stink.
My butt is full of dingleberries, even more, I think!
And then there is the toe jam, and I just became aware
A family of birds has made a nest within my hair.
My hygiene may not be the best, but I don’t care a whit
Because my dog, he loves me so, and he don’t give a s__t!
