To my Mike here’s your Docket…
They say time is always perfect,
But i guess illl be the judge …
And if it’s true ..
how do you keep from ..
replayed memories of what was?
Perfectionistic person at his finest,
Never had to want or need..
Grew up to be a leader,
In a world consumed of greed.
The many masks he wore ,
That hid his insecurities.. deep within,
Outwardly shining bright ,
Covering the lies of past paid sins.
But In the blink of an eye,
Life changes all our plans,
Watch each dream we hold so tightly,
Slip like water through our hands.
Each day before now ..seemed so easy,
Every moment ..exciting ..and full of thrills.
And now he Trades every mornings new adventures,
for a handfull of prescription pills,
This cruel disease became his lifelong demon
Never thought he’d endure,
Makes every day a fucking struggle
With Death always knocking at his door.
And now 2 wheels replace the footsteps
Confidently taken until death do they part,
His secrets slowly destroyed their empire
Wishing the needles that she found ..
could mend his broken heart.
Life’s lesson of acceptance ..
An oddly strange and comforting friend,
Teaches us to let go of what could be ..
So we never have to pretend.
So He said goodbye to his old life knowing
His person… she was gone
anger quickly moved right in
While trying to let go and move on.
Torturous pain from his regret
Of all the could ofs, should haves, and the life he has today,
He Ran right back to that seductive promising needle,
Not caring at what price his life would pay.
So now his new start and new beginnings ,
From his picture perfect life,
Turned to reckless I don’t give a fuck what happens choices..
No turning back no thinking twice .
The drugs help to numb the pride and pain ,
From everything his cancer took.
Believes if he try’s to make a joke about himself ,
no one will really look.
He needed to feel needed ,
he needed to feel loved,
Not knowing where his life would lead ..
He started selling sacks of drugs.
Living life to the fullest every day,
like today could be his last..
and when your hooked on methamphetamines,
the drugs they run out fast,
So he started his endeavor pretty small,
Uneducated on what exactly dealers do,
But Street by street ,
bag after bag ,
his buisness
Grew and grew,
He found for him the biggest mask
That one could ever wear,
A life that says he’s invincible
Where strong replaces fear.
And. Even though I never knew him from his perfect life before,
I still can picture the amazing man that was, before any masks he wore.
The truest people in are lives
Who never judge from where we are,
I saw you from day one and knew ..
You were the brightest of all stars.
I didn’t see your chair or that you couldn’t use your legs ,
I didn’t see the smile you front to people who only pay.
I saw someone just like me who life just liked to fuck,
Sometimes the best ones we keep closest..
when maskless look just like us.
So when I put this pen to paper there’s a choice of words to use ,
I wanted to reach your soul,
but be poetic too,
I’ve always felt your pain inside
The shit you try to hide.
I’ve always known when it’s just to much
And shut everyone out because of pride.
It’s not about the pain we feel that I wanted to address ,
it’s the person we try are hardest to forget ,
that only wants us at our best.
It’s the question that always lingers,
When trying to decide which way that we should go,
it’s the constant people pleasing when our answers should be no.
You never need a mask,
My dear..
Fuck everyone who’s fake,
and you never need to hide…
anything this world might take,
I know you are a winner
There’s nothing laid in front of you you can’t excel,
But I imagine winners are never placed,
Where their life rots away in jail.
Our stories are very different but when u really look they are the same .
The pain we hide is so very real
That drugs will numb us from all shame,
Just wanted you to know how much I truly love you for only you
And that I will be here and support you in whatever it is you chose to do.
You never need a mask my dear ,
I hope you know your my favorite friend ,
and remember We’re always only one decision away ..
from a whole new story to begin.
