You say, I say

     I can see it and feel it, I know when something is larking. I’ve been here before, I know how it will go.

I ask what is wrong, and to no surprise the answer is nothing. I know I shouldn’t poke it, like you shouldn’t poke a sleeping bear.

I know what’s to come so I poke at it gentle. Asking once again, what is wrong. I don’t like your attitude, you’ve had one for days.

Blame gets thrown on me like every other time. I haven’t had an attitude, not one at all. My mind starts racing, as my body prepares.

Few days ago we had visitors, we all sat and talked. Sharing laughter and memories. Everything appeared to be okay, all is well ……

The reality was only a fantasy for me. I see it in your eyes, heard it in your voice. Felt it in my heart and prepared in my mind. Night rolls in bringing your angry with it. Start accusing me of everything and everyone. How can I convince you, when your mind already made up.

Through the grip held tight on my throat, I begged for you to stop, but no mercy did you show. Slaps, hits, chokes and more left me begging for my life to end. Try to run but can’t get to the door. Laying there numb gasping for air on the floor.

Some way somehow, I got to my phone. Texting your cousin, I was hoping for some help. You standing over me, saying don’t call the cops or I’ll die before they come. Hand getting tighter, can’t breathe. Finally letting go, I yell I hate you and I want out. Told the only way out is death. You will kill me before, you see me with someone else.  The fear controls and have kept me handcuffed to this nightmare once again.