| Humor Non-Fiction posted April 4, 2024 |
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This actually happened ...
Another Mystifying Thought
by Tom Horonzy
Laying at rest last night, I became uncomfortable around 2 a.m. because I had grown cold. Not stone-cold dead, but uncomfortable, so I wondered why before discovering my feet had become exposed from where I tucked them in before they popped out, leading me to proffer this demented thought ... that our feet may be the thermostatic element that controls how cold or warm a person feels.
Now, I haven't any scientific knowledge to prove my theory, since I canceled my 'Scientific American' magazine prescription, but doesn't it make sense I was fine while my piggies were snug as bugs beneath a layer of turf, which cause me to further ask why bugs are snug with all that dirt in their eyes?
Yes, I know, it should read subscription, but I needed to give you cause to pause asking how I go from being sane to writing such inane articles. Well, I was told by my ma and pa it's in my jeans, which I didn't understand at ten, seeing I was in Bermuda shorts with argyle socks at the time of their remark.
Anyhow, returning to my predilection, I concretely found that when my eight piglets and two foot-thumbs retreated back from whence they came, I became thrilled the chills that had succumbed me disappeared, which sorta substantiates my hypothesis might be right.
And with that, I bid thee, goodnight. I have some sleep to catch up on since my lowest appendages are rewound tight once more. Aaah!
Any disagreement you find with my postulation, please submit typewritten in Bahnschrift font and mail to P.O. Box ... Zzzzz
Retiredly yours,
Demented Tom
Demented Tom
Nonfiction Writing Contest contest entry
The premise of the story is true. A few statements may have been extenuated, such as canceling a subscription I never had, but I did read a friend's copy. :-)
I recently began writing a series of demented thoughts that arrive in the night which FS friends have found mystifying, instead of demented. THis may prove them wrong.
Pays
one point
and 2 member cents. I recently began writing a series of demented thoughts that arrive in the night which FS friends have found mystifying, instead of demented. THis may prove them wrong.
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