FanStory.com - Sonnets by Harambe iz ur Daddy

FanStory.com
"Sonnets"

Chapter 1
Ukraine Grey

By Harambe iz ur Daddy

Warning: The author has noted that this contains the highest level of violence.
Warning: The author has noted that this contains the highest level of sexual content.

Small town in Ukraine, Boris own a cow
This cow of Boris, it have coat of silk
The cow is nice and sometimes will allow
To suckle Boris, offer many milk

This Boris, he have neighbor, name is Vlad
Vlad used to own the cow but it escaped
This cow was very mad and also sad
For Vlad not nice to cow and had it raped

Now Vlad he want the cow back so he say
Hey Boris, give me cow, I want it now
And Boris say, no Vlad, please go away
You not treat cow so mean like Chairman Mao

So Vlad he come with tank for cow and smash
While Boris watch, he burn the cow to ash.

Author Notes All English grammar errors are deliberate

Image courtesy of Wikipedia

Looking for another story about Vlad?

Chapter 2
Tunnel Busting

By Harambe iz ur Daddy

An echo through the meadow mist goes round
The early bird arises in the dawn
Awaking frozen dreamers with her sound
As from their earthly troubles they are drawn

I see the robin sawing to and fro
Dismember, slurp and swallow every part
Return to every nestling to bestow
A menu seldom offered Ã la carte

Her magic meadow music melts my mind
I think upon the earthworms and I cry
Each ravished by her reddened raptor kind
When flooded tunnels force them up to die

When wiggly worms win rights they may opine
To ban the birds from bombing Palestine

Author Notes
I wrote a sonnet once, about 25 years ago. This was written as an exercise to amplify phonic flow in a sonnet as much as possible. Folks are welcome to draw their own political conclusions. I did not start writing this with political intent; the analogy emerged as I approached the conclusion. Image from birdsandblooms.com

Chapter 3
Dalmatian puppy feast

By Harambe iz ur Daddy

Warning: The author has noted that this contains the highest level of violence.

where shadows creep beneath the waning moon
their bones are strewn among the stalks of grass
like shards of glass their skulls from bodies hewn
the butcher's tune their requiem and mass

their suctioned brains are gorged upon by flies
their sightless eyes bore holes inside my mind
their furs enshrined upon a lady's thighs
the perfect size to cover her behind

she ships their organs off to earn a buck
she fills her truck with victims she can eat
she likes them sweet like honey-roasted duck
she loves to pluck them for a midnight treat

these puppies are a metaphor you see,
for Kamala's abortion policy

Author Notes
Kamala Harris is in the pocket of the abortion industry, profiting off harvested fetal organs, which is far more terrifying than eating puppies.

Format: wreathed Shakespearean sonnet. Image by author using Dezgo, an uncensored AI image engine.

Chapter 4
Troll

By Harambe iz ur Daddy

Warning: The author has noted that this contains the highest level of language.
Warning: The author has noted that this contains the highest level of sexual content.

It's hard to say sometimes why I don't stop
I often drop in contests clean and gay
Though I obey the rules down from the top
My bellyflop might sully someone's day

I live to troll the contests on this site
Each week I write some awful piece of shit
My savage wit cannot resist a fight
The words that bite excite upon the clit

Some suckers try to thrust me from their view
Yet can't subdue my taunts across the void
My solenoid still sucks them in anew
They can't unscrew the urge to lap up Freud

A cancer grows in sentimental bloat
To laugh to death: the only antidote

Author Notes A wreathed Shakespearean sonnet. Image by Meta AI.

Chapter 5
cut off

By Harambe iz ur Daddy

As minutes tick away upon the clock
They wait in shock the headsman's falling blade
The plans they made, once solid as a rock,
Now run amok, dispersed by a grenade

A bitter fate awaits them in the dawn
A blackened swan has caught them unaware
The silent spyware weaved around a con
Has made a pawn each dream they dreamt to share

With hollowed eyes they beg for a reprieve
And some will grieve while dancing 'neath the moon
As lovers croon, preparing hearts to cleave
To be bereaved of patrons all too soon

The smallest sound makes Tiktok watchers jump
As all await the edict of the Trump

Author Notes Format: wreathed Shakespearean sonnet. Image by author using an uncensored AI image engine. This contest deadline coincided with the deadline for ByteDance to sell or cease operating TikTok in the US. Trump initiated the action for this ban, and it was carried out under the Biden administration and unanimously upheld by the Supreme Court. Trump has suggested he will give Tiktok a 90 day reprieve, but he will be inaugurated a day after the ban actually takes place, so it looks like Tiktok may shut off for a day (starting tomorrow) as a publicity stunt.

Chapter 6
Rejected

By Harambe iz ur Daddy

I planned the perfect date to see my crush
I skipped the rush and rode there overnight
While sitting tight, I told my nerves to shush
My flesh was flush from dreams of sheer delight

I would not win the part by going down
For lust confounds the search for faithful mates
And true love waits through green and into brown
From wedding gown until the pearly gates

I feel my darling's gaze upon my skin
Can love begin as lust and still be true?
Will passion screw my mind so deep within
That mortal sin's the price of having you?

"Not ripe enough"

: her words have rent my heart;
She puts an

orange

in her shopping cart.

Author Notes A wreathed Shakespearean sonnet about a rejected banana at the supermarket.

Image: the Chiquita banana logo, with the color changed from yellow to green.

I gave the sonnet to Suno (a free music AI), and one of the renderings it burped out shows musical potential. Have a listen and tell me what you think! Maybe I will adapt and produce it.

🦍

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