Blended Reality
Viewing comments for Chapter 25 "The Conversations"A collection of stories: Some True, some not
9 total reviews
Comment from Amanda Louise Davis
This evoked feeling but needs work. When you talked about the music, it should be 'excited,' not 'exciting.' There are other editing errors like this as well. I think this has a lot of potential, though.
reply by the author on 17-Jun-2020
   |
This evoked feeling but needs work. When you talked about the music, it should be 'excited,' not 'exciting.' There are other editing errors like this as well. I think this has a lot of potential, though.
Comment Written 16-Jun-2020
reply by the author on 17-Jun-2020
-
amanda ..I took this down to make corrections, this is far too important of a personal writing not to perfect it.
Thanks so much for pointing out my deficiencies so abruptly
Comment from Raffaelina Lowcock
The bare facts are very hurtful at times. But, over the course of the years when we deal with them, the hurt diminishes and common sense seeps into our thoughts as we realize we are still a driving force and we want that force to be a good one. It doesn't matter what our circumstances, but how we handle them. You obviously have succeeded in ameliorating circumstance and a driving force. Wisdom personified! Bravo! :)Ralf
reply by the author on 17-Jun-2020
|
The bare facts are very hurtful at times. But, over the course of the years when we deal with them, the hurt diminishes and common sense seeps into our thoughts as we realize we are still a driving force and we want that force to be a good one. It doesn't matter what our circumstances, but how we handle them. You obviously have succeeded in ameliorating circumstance and a driving force. Wisdom personified! Bravo! :)Ralf
Comment Written 16-Jun-2020
reply by the author on 17-Jun-2020
-
Ralf, thanks so much
I forgot to say "Well written, and thanks for sharing."
-
Smiling back!
Comment from royowen
Conditioning is a whale in a matchbox, it seems to be impossible to overcome..completely, but I've learnt to overcome my own predilection to my North English working class background, I've never quite overcome, I'm just grateful to God, that technology became a necessity for me, but I've never quite overcome that time/technology warp. But thanks be.... Thanks for sharing, (I think it wasn't your unkind teacher's business, but as the old saying goes, "cruel to be kind,") well done, blessings, Roy
reply by the author on 17-Jun-2020
|
Conditioning is a whale in a matchbox, it seems to be impossible to overcome..completely, but I've learnt to overcome my own predilection to my North English working class background, I've never quite overcome, I'm just grateful to God, that technology became a necessity for me, but I've never quite overcome that time/technology warp. But thanks be.... Thanks for sharing, (I think it wasn't your unkind teacher's business, but as the old saying goes, "cruel to be kind,") well done, blessings, Roy
Comment Written 16-Jun-2020
reply by the author on 17-Jun-2020
-
Roy, I would not have change one day one scene, it taught me many life lessons that helped me make it work smashingly well. God was always in sight.
-
I?m sure it did Jim, I can see where I was intercepted too.
Comment from Sandra Lovett
I really enjoyed reading this story. Unfortunately, there's many people that experience circumstances as this. Words have the power to harm or heal. Great job!!
reply by the author on 17-Jun-2020
|
I really enjoyed reading this story. Unfortunately, there's many people that experience circumstances as this. Words have the power to harm or heal. Great job!!
Comment Written 16-Jun-2020
reply by the author on 17-Jun-2020
-
SAndrs, real life, would not have changed thing!
Comment from Bobby Cunningham
Wow! This is an incredibly powerful and touching story. My mind was eagerly pursuing every line. I think that you have a couple of typos that in no way diminishes the excellence of the story. The first is after Ms Judd threw you under the bus in class. I had recall what the rest of the lecture was about. You probably wanted "to" between had and recall. The second where you talk about forgiveness the sentence says I did not the capacity to forgive. I think there you meant to write Have between Not and The. This in way diminishes the intended message of the story. Incredible job.
reply by the author on 17-Jun-2020
|
Wow! This is an incredibly powerful and touching story. My mind was eagerly pursuing every line. I think that you have a couple of typos that in no way diminishes the excellence of the story. The first is after Ms Judd threw you under the bus in class. I had recall what the rest of the lecture was about. You probably wanted "to" between had and recall. The second where you talk about forgiveness the sentence says I did not the capacity to forgive. I think there you meant to write Have between Not and The. This in way diminishes the intended message of the story. Incredible job.
Comment Written 16-Jun-2020
reply by the author on 17-Jun-2020
-
Bollie thanks I took it down to make more corrections.
Comment from joycetreasures
Hello JLR,
Top of the day to you. First, thanks for sharing your experiences. I'm not surprise that your teacher blurted out that information (being maybe in the welfare system). I have been also in situations like you experienced. The after class discussion from your teacher was an interesting discussion (do better and stay out of the welfare system). OK. Of course, you the challenge to do better than what she suggested. Anyone, would feel wounded!!! Things in your childhood was the greatest, yet you deal with it. It's hard when you don't receive love from your parents. There were a lot of disappointment, hurts, and sorrow in your life, especially when Mom left Dad. Your pain of many disappointments carried over into you adult life. Praise God, you let go of holding onto shame and regret which are so destructive. Glad you forgave and moved forward, especially to Mrs. Judd. I believe, God gives us what we need. You called it, your inner child. I call it grace. There was only one perfect person on earth, that man is Jesus. We all fall down, sometimes harder than others. I am glad you learned to play and enjoy life as much as you can. I really enjoyed your heartfelt personal story. Good enough is awesome! Well-done. Nice imagery and title. Have a bless day:-) Happy writing:-)
reply by the author on 16-Jun-2020
|
Hello JLR,
Top of the day to you. First, thanks for sharing your experiences. I'm not surprise that your teacher blurted out that information (being maybe in the welfare system). I have been also in situations like you experienced. The after class discussion from your teacher was an interesting discussion (do better and stay out of the welfare system). OK. Of course, you the challenge to do better than what she suggested. Anyone, would feel wounded!!! Things in your childhood was the greatest, yet you deal with it. It's hard when you don't receive love from your parents. There were a lot of disappointment, hurts, and sorrow in your life, especially when Mom left Dad. Your pain of many disappointments carried over into you adult life. Praise God, you let go of holding onto shame and regret which are so destructive. Glad you forgave and moved forward, especially to Mrs. Judd. I believe, God gives us what we need. You called it, your inner child. I call it grace. There was only one perfect person on earth, that man is Jesus. We all fall down, sometimes harder than others. I am glad you learned to play and enjoy life as much as you can. I really enjoyed your heartfelt personal story. Good enough is awesome! Well-done. Nice imagery and title. Have a bless day:-) Happy writing:-)
Comment Written 16-Jun-2020
reply by the author on 16-Jun-2020
-
Joyce bless you! I would not change a day!
-
Amen. You are so welcome.
-
Joyce bless you! I would not change a day!
Comment from Janann Giles
A story from the heart - a pleasure, even though sad to read. I did spot a couple of grammatical errors. Seems to be a word missing after Mrs. Judd calls the class back to order. Perhaps I had no recall.
Next paragraph about feeling ashamed. Consider hunkering-down not hunker down. Paragraph that starts out "so grateful" I would suggest changing to "I am so grateful" All in all I was glad I had a chance to read your story. The last line absolutely sums up your story. A perfect ending.
reply by the author on 17-Jun-2020
|
A story from the heart - a pleasure, even though sad to read. I did spot a couple of grammatical errors. Seems to be a word missing after Mrs. Judd calls the class back to order. Perhaps I had no recall.
Next paragraph about feeling ashamed. Consider hunkering-down not hunker down. Paragraph that starts out "so grateful" I would suggest changing to "I am so grateful" All in all I was glad I had a chance to read your story. The last line absolutely sums up your story. A perfect ending.
Comment Written 16-Jun-2020
reply by the author on 17-Jun-2020
-
Janann thank you I took it down to polish it up a bit I appreciate every comment.
Comment from Jannypan (Jan)
Your story reads well. There is good progression and well-thought out details to include to carry your message. You did prove that teacher wrong but at what cost? I'm glad that you worked through it in time. I'm appalled, though, that the teacher said what she did in the way she did it. That conversation could have been private. Thanks for sharing and best wishes.
Respectfully, Jan
reply by the author on 17-Jun-2020
|
Your story reads well. There is good progression and well-thought out details to include to carry your message. You did prove that teacher wrong but at what cost? I'm glad that you worked through it in time. I'm appalled, though, that the teacher said what she did in the way she did it. That conversation could have been private. Thanks for sharing and best wishes.
Respectfully, Jan
Comment Written 16-Jun-2020
reply by the author on 17-Jun-2020
-
JAn, thank so much. I would not change a moment in time , all things are teaching lessons and I was able to go a positive route in life.
Comment from Susan X Smith
I was surprised to hear about your humble roots, and I am assuming this is a true story. I myself was very smart, but working class, and I found that I had a hard time fitting in to either the upper class or the working class. Interesting piece to read.
reply by the author on 17-Jun-2020
|
I was surprised to hear about your humble roots, and I am assuming this is a true story. I myself was very smart, but working class, and I found that I had a hard time fitting in to either the upper class or the working class. Interesting piece to read.
Comment Written 16-Jun-2020
reply by the author on 17-Jun-2020
-
Susan, true story and fitting in is the perfect word. Fitting in does create remarkable volumes of obstacles at times.