Blended Reality
Viewing comments for Chapter 17 "The Rabbit Hole"A collection of stories: Some True, some not
35 total reviews
Comment from L. R. Jensen
This is intriguing. At the end you think, "How did that happen?" This is a great piece for 60 word dash. You managed to pack a sense of frenzy and confusion into just a few words. Well done!
reply by the author on 14-Feb-2020
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This is intriguing. At the end you think, "How did that happen?" This is a great piece for 60 word dash. You managed to pack a sense of frenzy and confusion into just a few words. Well done!
Comment Written 14-Feb-2020
reply by the author on 14-Feb-2020
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L.R. Thank you, it was fun to let the imagination hop onto the page.
Comment from Raffaelina Lowcock
Sheer fantasy and yet it has that splash of wonder. Like Alice's decent it turns out to be life-changing. Good imagination here and that's all you need to be a good writer. I laughed out loud. :)
reply by the author on 14-Feb-2020
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Sheer fantasy and yet it has that splash of wonder. Like Alice's decent it turns out to be life-changing. Good imagination here and that's all you need to be a good writer. I laughed out loud. :)
Comment Written 14-Feb-2020
reply by the author on 14-Feb-2020
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Raffaelina, thank you! It was fun to let my imagination hop onto the page.
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s/b descent...sorry
Comment from ImaginosBuzzardoDesdinova
Starting off as a middle aged priest and ending up as a young nun? Perhaps that was the Lord's way of suggesting that the hero of the story needed to be more humble. There's an old saying "Once you admit your humility, you lose it."
reply by the author on 14-Feb-2020
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Starting off as a middle aged priest and ending up as a young nun? Perhaps that was the Lord's way of suggesting that the hero of the story needed to be more humble. There's an old saying "Once you admit your humility, you lose it."
Comment Written 14-Feb-2020
reply by the author on 14-Feb-2020
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I love that, it think there is wisdom in that old saying.
Comment from Susan Larson
Interesting, intriguing and imaginative. The rabbit hole concept is so fascinating and you did a great job with your transition story. It looks like such a challenge to say so much with so few words.
reply by the author on 14-Feb-2020
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Interesting, intriguing and imaginative. The rabbit hole concept is so fascinating and you did a great job with your transition story. It looks like such a challenge to say so much with so few words.
Comment Written 14-Feb-2020
reply by the author on 14-Feb-2020
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Susan, thank you very much!
Comment from Pearl Edwards
Great little 60 word story JLR, and what a strange rabbit hole this was, from middle-aged priest to young nun, and that strange little green man. I think this is one flash fiction that you could add to. Enjoyed it,
cheers
reply by the author on 14-Feb-2020
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Great little 60 word story JLR, and what a strange rabbit hole this was, from middle-aged priest to young nun, and that strange little green man. I think this is one flash fiction that you could add to. Enjoyed it,
cheers
Comment Written 14-Feb-2020
reply by the author on 14-Feb-2020
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Pearl, thank you it was fun to let my imagination hop onto the page.
Comment from Marilyn Lou Berry
Hah! Good story! I loved the twist at the end that was not hinted at! It could give me nightmares LOL. Great scary art choice you made. This is a well-crafted flash story and good luck in the contest!
reply by the author on 13-Feb-2020
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Hah! Good story! I loved the twist at the end that was not hinted at! It could give me nightmares LOL. Great scary art choice you made. This is a well-crafted flash story and good luck in the contest!
Comment Written 13-Feb-2020
reply by the author on 13-Feb-2020
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Marilyn, thank you very much!
Comment from the13thpoet
Hello fellow writer. Thank you for sharing your story, I think you executed well within the rules of the writing prompt. Good job and good luck in the contest.
reply by the author on 13-Feb-2020
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Hello fellow writer. Thank you for sharing your story, I think you executed well within the rules of the writing prompt. Good job and good luck in the contest.
Comment Written 13-Feb-2020
reply by the author on 13-Feb-2020
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My Friend, I enjoyed letting my imagination hop onto the page.
Comment from giraffmang
Hi there,
Despite the short word count, I think there's quite a few superfluous words in this which could be trimmed. The two sentences are quite long-winded and not usual for most flash pieces. They do their job, I guess, which is to distract that there's not much of a story told. I know it's only 60 words but it is very slight.
All the best
GMG
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reply by the author on 13-Feb-2020
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Hi there,
Despite the short word count, I think there's quite a few superfluous words in this which could be trimmed. The two sentences are quite long-winded and not usual for most flash pieces. They do their job, I guess, which is to distract that there's not much of a story told. I know it's only 60 words but it is very slight.
All the best
GMG
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 13-Feb-2020
reply by the author on 13-Feb-2020
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GMG, thanks!
Comment from RPSaxena
Hello Friend,
Nice piece of Humor Fiction meeting the desired norms, having impressive phraseology, and beautifully depicting its fantastic theme.
Best of Luck!
reply by the author on 13-Feb-2020
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Hello Friend,
Nice piece of Humor Fiction meeting the desired norms, having impressive phraseology, and beautifully depicting its fantastic theme.
Best of Luck!
Comment Written 13-Feb-2020
reply by the author on 13-Feb-2020
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Thank you so much! I enjoyed letting my imagination hop onto the page.
Comment from Minglement
This is a good entry for the 60 word flash fiction contest. you well painted the picture of the descent down the rabbit whole and the conversion through the journey from priest to nun. Great illustration a well. Good luck in the contest.
reply by the author on 13-Feb-2020
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This is a good entry for the 60 word flash fiction contest. you well painted the picture of the descent down the rabbit whole and the conversion through the journey from priest to nun. Great illustration a well. Good luck in the contest.
Comment Written 13-Feb-2020
reply by the author on 13-Feb-2020
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Minglement, thank you. I enjoyed letting my imagination hop onto the page. Just like in life rabbits can have surreal outcomes. LOL
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Lol. You're welcome ;.
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Lol. You're welcome ;.