The French Letter
Viewing comments for Chapter 90 "The Akond of Swat"A Novel
30 total reviews
Comment from Mastery
Hello Tony. So sorry, I have missed so much of the book.
The story still packs punch but can be easily be broken up into two books, Because as you know 90 Chapters is just not going to work for a publisher. ( Just something to think about as you move forward, I think)
As usual, your writing is impeccable and definitely holds a reader's attention from start to finish.
Imagery like these keep the story fresh, of course:
" Helen and I were as one as we stood breathing in the sacred hour. I brushed her tangled tresses to one side and kissed her on the back of the neck. However, she pushed me away gently, and brought a finger to her lips."
And here: "It took more than an hour to traverse a dozen miles of hairpin bends rising up to the mouth of the Lower Tunnel. The narrow, unmade road was slippery as a mudslide where snow melt had seeped through crevices, creating small cascades. The clear, mountain water sparkled in the sunlight as it swirled around fallen boulders and scree. We slid across hairpin bends, our back wheels slewing dangerously near the precipitous drop to the torrent below."
I have been busy doing other things, but got some good news, my last novel "Shadows of Sin" will be released on January 30 of 2020.
Continued good luck to you, Tony. Bob
reply by the author on 24-Oct-2019
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Hello Tony. So sorry, I have missed so much of the book.
The story still packs punch but can be easily be broken up into two books, Because as you know 90 Chapters is just not going to work for a publisher. ( Just something to think about as you move forward, I think)
As usual, your writing is impeccable and definitely holds a reader's attention from start to finish.
Imagery like these keep the story fresh, of course:
" Helen and I were as one as we stood breathing in the sacred hour. I brushed her tangled tresses to one side and kissed her on the back of the neck. However, she pushed me away gently, and brought a finger to her lips."
And here: "It took more than an hour to traverse a dozen miles of hairpin bends rising up to the mouth of the Lower Tunnel. The narrow, unmade road was slippery as a mudslide where snow melt had seeped through crevices, creating small cascades. The clear, mountain water sparkled in the sunlight as it swirled around fallen boulders and scree. We slid across hairpin bends, our back wheels slewing dangerously near the precipitous drop to the torrent below."
I have been busy doing other things, but got some good news, my last novel "Shadows of Sin" will be released on January 30 of 2020.
Continued good luck to you, Tony. Bob
Comment Written 24-Oct-2019
reply by the author on 24-Oct-2019
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Good to hear from you, Bob. Congratulations on the upcoming publication of ?Shadows of Sin?.
I agree that this is probably getting too long now for a single book. However, I?ll carry it through to its logical conclusion first and then see how best to split it.
I appreciate your encouraging comments. All good wishes, Tony.
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: ) Bob
Comment from rspoet
Hello Tony,
Deeper we go into the lair of The Lion and there appears to be no way back.
It seems like sliding down the slope of an hour glass or a six-mile tunnel straight into the maw of the beast.
I'm not good with heights, she said, as we stepped upon the tightrope across the canyon. Very reassuring. :)
I suspect a reader would quickly turn the page, well past midnight, to see what lies on the other side of that gaping hole.
Well done
Robert
reply by the author on 25-Oct-2019
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Hello Tony,
Deeper we go into the lair of The Lion and there appears to be no way back.
It seems like sliding down the slope of an hour glass or a six-mile tunnel straight into the maw of the beast.
I'm not good with heights, she said, as we stepped upon the tightrope across the canyon. Very reassuring. :)
I suspect a reader would quickly turn the page, well past midnight, to see what lies on the other side of that gaping hole.
Well done
Robert
Comment Written 24-Oct-2019
reply by the author on 25-Oct-2019
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Thanks, Robert, for the shining six and for your comments. I imagine that I, too, will be up at midnight working out what happens at the other end of the tunnel. All the best, Tony.
Comment from Pam (respa)
-This is an excellent chapter, Tony,
that covers a lot of ground.
-There is humor, vivid description, the ride
up the mountain, weather conditions, and more.
-I like the levity in the beginning
when Charles imitates the bird:
"oop-oopah ..." It made me wonder if you
have heard these birds, looked them up, or made it up:)
-The inclusion of the poem is good, too.
-The description of the local street scene with
the "carnival feel" is excellent, as well as
later with the travel conditions.
-At the end, you share the lighthearted
moment between Helen and Charles, but it all
changes with the soldier, the AK-47, the warning
about the travel pass, and then the heavy snow.
-You leave it to our imagination as far as
future expectations are concerned. Well done!!
[Glitterfy.com - *Glitter Photos*]
reply by the author on 25-Oct-2019
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-This is an excellent chapter, Tony,
that covers a lot of ground.
-There is humor, vivid description, the ride
up the mountain, weather conditions, and more.
-I like the levity in the beginning
when Charles imitates the bird:
"oop-oopah ..." It made me wonder if you
have heard these birds, looked them up, or made it up:)
-The inclusion of the poem is good, too.
-The description of the local street scene with
the "carnival feel" is excellent, as well as
later with the travel conditions.
-At the end, you share the lighthearted
moment between Helen and Charles, but it all
changes with the soldier, the AK-47, the warning
about the travel pass, and then the heavy snow.
-You leave it to our imagination as far as
future expectations are concerned. Well done!!
[Glitterfy.com - *Glitter Photos*]
Comment Written 24-Oct-2019
reply by the author on 25-Oct-2019
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Very many thanks for the shining six and your supportive comments. As always, appreciated. I was particularly grateful for your remarks about the balance between humour and dramatic tension. All good wishes, Tony.
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You are very welcome for the stars and the review, Tony. I am glad you appreciated my comment about the balance in the chapter.
Just one question-what is the origin of the "oop-oopah"?
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It?s a phonetic rendering of the call of the hoopoe. I listened to several recordings of the call on the internet and then described it as best I could.
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Thanks for sharing. I was curious. The description is good.
Comment from estory
This chapter unfolds like an ominous sign of trouble of come. You started it off with that image of the evil bird perched on the tree after the morning prayers, like an omen of ill fortune. Then comes the nerve wracking trip to the chitral tunnel, complete with vivid descriptions of checkpoints and bad weather, the white knuckle trip through hair pin turns up to the pass. And it ended with ominous snow flakes pattering against the windshield. Great details made the chapter come alive. estory
reply by the author on 27-Oct-2019
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This chapter unfolds like an ominous sign of trouble of come. You started it off with that image of the evil bird perched on the tree after the morning prayers, like an omen of ill fortune. Then comes the nerve wracking trip to the chitral tunnel, complete with vivid descriptions of checkpoints and bad weather, the white knuckle trip through hair pin turns up to the pass. And it ended with ominous snow flakes pattering against the windshield. Great details made the chapter come alive. estory
Comment Written 24-Oct-2019
reply by the author on 27-Oct-2019
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Many thanks, estory. As always, I appreciate your review and comments. Best wishes, Tony
Comment from Wabigoon
Tony--
Nicely done. Don't have a clue what the plot is. Just had a fascinating dream that Disney had an incredible theme park with sculptures of various animals like Sher Khan in it in Tibet. I guess you are not going into Tibet, but northern Pakistan here? Good travel writing what ever is going on.
Thanks
Wabigoon/Jeff
reply by the author on 27-Oct-2019
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Tony--
Nicely done. Don't have a clue what the plot is. Just had a fascinating dream that Disney had an incredible theme park with sculptures of various animals like Sher Khan in it in Tibet. I guess you are not going into Tibet, but northern Pakistan here? Good travel writing what ever is going on.
Thanks
Wabigoon/Jeff
Comment Written 23-Oct-2019
reply by the author on 27-Oct-2019
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Many thanks, Jeff. Good of you to drop by to review this chapter. I appreciate your comments and the sixth star. Best wishes, Tony.
Comment from dejohnsrld (Debbie)
I thought the cocks were to wake us. This is the other way around, LOL. Another very well written chapter, my friend~Debbie
reply by the author on 27-Oct-2019
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I thought the cocks were to wake us. This is the other way around, LOL. Another very well written chapter, my friend~Debbie
Comment Written 23-Oct-2019
reply by the author on 27-Oct-2019
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Thanks, Debbie. I appreciate your comments. I'm not generally amongst those who arise before cockcrow! LOL
Comment from juliaSjames
"a group of East Europeans" - "Eastern Europeans"
"the exotic smell of spices and incense from the bazaar." - You haven't indicated that you're passing a bazaar.
"ran alongside our minibus" - hmmmm, is this a likely scenario. Perhaps "as they tried to catch up with our minibus"
The puddle game didn't work for me. Unless you're going to use it later to distinguish them from the rest of the group.
The above points apart this is an excellent chapter. Interesting to see this part of the world from the POV of Charles, the travel writer. I liked the moment of vulnerability when Helen reveals her fear of heights. So far she's been the strong one.
Blessings Julia
reply by the author on 27-Oct-2019
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"a group of East Europeans" - "Eastern Europeans"
"the exotic smell of spices and incense from the bazaar." - You haven't indicated that you're passing a bazaar.
"ran alongside our minibus" - hmmmm, is this a likely scenario. Perhaps "as they tried to catch up with our minibus"
The puddle game didn't work for me. Unless you're going to use it later to distinguish them from the rest of the group.
The above points apart this is an excellent chapter. Interesting to see this part of the world from the POV of Charles, the travel writer. I liked the moment of vulnerability when Helen reveals her fear of heights. So far she's been the strong one.
Blessings Julia
Comment Written 23-Oct-2019
reply by the author on 27-Oct-2019
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Thanks for your particularly useful comments on this chapter, Julia. I shall have to review the various idiotic antics of these two in relation to the whole story. There is quite a bit of horseplay between them.
Comment from Sylvia Page
Your description of the traffic and condition of the roads is right on and quite accurate. I often wonder about the mindset of people in these regions of Pakistan, India and Bangladesh included. They are all the same. No regard for others and for that matter their own lives. An example is the family on the ancient mo-bike. The drive through the hair-pin bends in such conditions you described must have been hair-raising. Very fine descriptions.
Sylvia
reply by the author on 27-Oct-2019
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Your description of the traffic and condition of the roads is right on and quite accurate. I often wonder about the mindset of people in these regions of Pakistan, India and Bangladesh included. They are all the same. No regard for others and for that matter their own lives. An example is the family on the ancient mo-bike. The drive through the hair-pin bends in such conditions you described must have been hair-raising. Very fine descriptions.
Sylvia
Comment Written 23-Oct-2019
reply by the author on 27-Oct-2019
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Thanks, Sylvia. Sometimes, I think that these people have a death wish! I have seen amazingly stupid behaviour of this kind in Thailand, too.
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Thailand isn't as bad as in Bangladesh, when you have to fight your way through camel carts and rickshaws! Extreme poverty is the root cause.
Comment from Pearl Edwards
Your descriptions of the Islamabad-Peshawar motorway really puts the reader right there, in amongst the chickens and ducks and tuk tuks as well the frightening ride around the hairpin bends. Great read.
cheers,
valda
reply by the author on 27-Oct-2019
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Your descriptions of the Islamabad-Peshawar motorway really puts the reader right there, in amongst the chickens and ducks and tuk tuks as well the frightening ride around the hairpin bends. Great read.
cheers,
valda
Comment Written 23-Oct-2019
reply by the author on 27-Oct-2019
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Thanks very much for your review and comments, Valda. I'm delighted that you thought this chapter worth a sixth star. All good wishes, Tony
Comment from sunnilicious
Great installment. It stood alone well as a short story. Good narration. Good dialogue. Great visual imagery created. Good storyline. MIssing breakfast on travel can be the worst. But great pillow talk conversation(s). Nice work. Excellent :)
reply by the author on 27-Oct-2019
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Great installment. It stood alone well as a short story. Good narration. Good dialogue. Great visual imagery created. Good storyline. MIssing breakfast on travel can be the worst. But great pillow talk conversation(s). Nice work. Excellent :)
Comment Written 23-Oct-2019
reply by the author on 27-Oct-2019
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Thank you so much for this lovely review, Alicia, and for the sixth star. You've made my day. Best wishes, Tony