The French Letter
Viewing comments for Chapter 85 "A Narrow Escape"A Novel
28 total reviews
Comment from Pearl Edwards
Love the finish on this chapter Tony. Dark tunnels are scary enough without the 'forewarning of adventures scarcely yet begun.' Going well with this story,
cheers,
valda
reply by the author on 14-Sep-2019
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Love the finish on this chapter Tony. Dark tunnels are scary enough without the 'forewarning of adventures scarcely yet begun.' Going well with this story,
cheers,
valda
Comment Written 13-Sep-2019
reply by the author on 14-Sep-2019
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Thanks, Valda, appreciate your comments. All good wishes, Tony.
Comment from juliaSjames
Hello Tony,
So the couple have escaped, for the moment. Looking forward to the unfolding of the plot. It's been entertaining and interesting for readers to savour the sights, sounds and dangers of a foreign city, as well as the reaction of Helen and Charles. But now we're on the edge of our seats, anxious and expectant.
I've never visited the Indian subcontinent, but I'm wondering if you're inclining towards the farcical in the encounter of the soldiers with Helen and Charles, and in describing the fellow travelers. For example, Charles could have tripped himself in his fear instead of being sent sprawling by an unprofessional rifle shove. That would be a good opening for Helen's comments.
And on the train, given his disguise and role, I suspect Charles would be completely ignored except by Helen.
Points to consider when you edit.
Blessings Julia
reply by the author on 14-Sep-2019
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Hello Tony,
So the couple have escaped, for the moment. Looking forward to the unfolding of the plot. It's been entertaining and interesting for readers to savour the sights, sounds and dangers of a foreign city, as well as the reaction of Helen and Charles. But now we're on the edge of our seats, anxious and expectant.
I've never visited the Indian subcontinent, but I'm wondering if you're inclining towards the farcical in the encounter of the soldiers with Helen and Charles, and in describing the fellow travelers. For example, Charles could have tripped himself in his fear instead of being sent sprawling by an unprofessional rifle shove. That would be a good opening for Helen's comments.
And on the train, given his disguise and role, I suspect Charles would be completely ignored except by Helen.
Points to consider when you edit.
Blessings Julia
Comment Written 13-Sep-2019
reply by the author on 14-Sep-2019
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Some good points here, Julia. Many thanks for them. All good wishes, Tony.
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You're welcome, Tony. I am a true admirer of your work.
Blessings Julia
Comment from Pam (respa)
-This is an excellent chapter, Tony.
-Vivid descriptions add to the story, beginning
with the unfortunate couple in the beginning.
-I am guessing this serves as a reminder to
other passengers not to push any buttons!
-Therefore, Charles and Helen play their
roles very well, making sure they don't
call undue attention to themselves.
-I am sure she loved saying,
"Come on, Khadim! Hurry along."
-I love the name, too!
-Your description is excellent of the
two travelling companions.
-I like how Charles relaxes himself listening
to the "Clickety-clack, clickety-clack" of the wheels,
and adding his own description to go with it.
-However, things never seem to be that way for long,
as they "plunged into the gaping maw of a tunnel."
reply by the author on 14-Sep-2019
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-This is an excellent chapter, Tony.
-Vivid descriptions add to the story, beginning
with the unfortunate couple in the beginning.
-I am guessing this serves as a reminder to
other passengers not to push any buttons!
-Therefore, Charles and Helen play their
roles very well, making sure they don't
call undue attention to themselves.
-I am sure she loved saying,
"Come on, Khadim! Hurry along."
-I love the name, too!
-Your description is excellent of the
two travelling companions.
-I like how Charles relaxes himself listening
to the "Clickety-clack, clickety-clack" of the wheels,
and adding his own description to go with it.
-However, things never seem to be that way for long,
as they "plunged into the gaping maw of a tunnel."
Comment Written 12-Sep-2019
reply by the author on 14-Sep-2019
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Many thanks, Pam. Appreciate all your comments and the six stars. All well here - no grandson yet, but must be soon! Teagan and Grandpa having good times together.
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You are very welcome and deserving of the review and stars, Tony. Glad to know all is well, and you are having a good time with Teagan. I bet she is keeping you very busy!
Comment from Mrs. KT
Hello, Tony!
I may have been delinquent this summer in reviewing your exceptional writing, but I have read most chapters. Your writing ability is so well-tuned from characterization to setting to dialogue, but especially in detail. You do not "miss a beat" when it comes to forwarding each element of your story. A master storyteller; that is for certain.
Thank you for sharing!
I thoroughly enjoyed this chapter!
diane
reply by the author on 14-Sep-2019
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Hello, Tony!
I may have been delinquent this summer in reviewing your exceptional writing, but I have read most chapters. Your writing ability is so well-tuned from characterization to setting to dialogue, but especially in detail. You do not "miss a beat" when it comes to forwarding each element of your story. A master storyteller; that is for certain.
Thank you for sharing!
I thoroughly enjoyed this chapter!
diane
Comment Written 12-Sep-2019
reply by the author on 14-Sep-2019
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Very many thanks for these lovely comments, Dianne. I know how difficult it can sometimes be to keep up with everything. I am delighted that you are still finding this entertaining. All good wishes, Tony
Comment from sarge4
Beautiful descriptive narrative, the dialog seemed appropriate for the times. El Gordo y el Flaco, huh? They're either going to be comic relief or the villains. I was immediately transported to someplace between Murder on the Orient Express and Indiana Jones, I got both vibes. Thanks for sharing.
reply by the author on 14-Sep-2019
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Beautiful descriptive narrative, the dialog seemed appropriate for the times. El Gordo y el Flaco, huh? They're either going to be comic relief or the villains. I was immediately transported to someplace between Murder on the Orient Express and Indiana Jones, I got both vibes. Thanks for sharing.
Comment Written 12-Sep-2019
reply by the author on 14-Sep-2019
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Thanks for your great comments, Sarge. Appreciated.
All good wishes, Tony
Comment from Mackenzie Cooper
Parts of this chapter remind me of the Uncharted video game series. The comic relief and humor especially. This has been an enjoyable series. It also reminds me a little bit of Get Smart!
reply by the author on 14-Sep-2019
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Parts of this chapter remind me of the Uncharted video game series. The comic relief and humor especially. This has been an enjoyable series. It also reminds me a little bit of Get Smart!
Comment Written 12-Sep-2019
reply by the author on 14-Sep-2019
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Many thanks, Mackenzie. I enjoyed reading your comments. All good wishes, Tony.
Comment from lyenochka
Wow! You're doing a great job with all these descriptions and building suspense and it looks like it's getting worse. I'm sorry for poor Charles after all the poor treatment by soldier and Helen who's taking her role to new heights.
reply by the author on 11-Sep-2019
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Wow! You're doing a great job with all these descriptions and building suspense and it looks like it's getting worse. I'm sorry for poor Charles after all the poor treatment by soldier and Helen who's taking her role to new heights.
Comment Written 10-Sep-2019
reply by the author on 11-Sep-2019
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Thanks, Helen. They seem to be heading into further trouble. Let's hope they get out of it alive.
Comment from Debbie Pope
Congratulations again on winning the book of the month. This story and your writing style so deserve the award. I enjoyed this chapter, particularly the conclusion in the gaping maw of the tunnel. That's a great way to express yourself and to draw an analogy to the dangers ahead.
Until the next chapter.
reply by the author on 11-Sep-2019
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Congratulations again on winning the book of the month. This story and your writing style so deserve the award. I enjoyed this chapter, particularly the conclusion in the gaping maw of the tunnel. That's a great way to express yourself and to draw an analogy to the dangers ahead.
Until the next chapter.
Comment Written 10-Sep-2019
reply by the author on 11-Sep-2019
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Very many thanks, Debbie, for your congratulations, your kind comments about this chapter, and the six stars. I appreciate your continued support. Best wishes, Tony
Comment from Gail Denham
Very good chapter - reads well, makes sense - you use description of the man in sour milk suit with green hanky - and the soldiers - using them but not over-using description. A good job.
reply by the author on 11-Sep-2019
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Very good chapter - reads well, makes sense - you use description of the man in sour milk suit with green hanky - and the soldiers - using them but not over-using description. A good job.
Comment Written 10-Sep-2019
reply by the author on 11-Sep-2019
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Thanks very much for your comments, Gail, and your continued support. Appreciated! Tony.
Comment from Sandra Stoner-Mitchell
That was a really nerve-racking part, Tony. I could feel the tension as they walked along the platform, and those soldiers! Goodness, I felt sorry for the couple in front of them. What lies ahead? I don't think Charles will find it any easier, in fact, I'm sure he really wishes he'd never found that French letter! Excellent writing, my friend. Well done. :)) Sandra xx
reply by the author on 11-Sep-2019
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That was a really nerve-racking part, Tony. I could feel the tension as they walked along the platform, and those soldiers! Goodness, I felt sorry for the couple in front of them. What lies ahead? I don't think Charles will find it any easier, in fact, I'm sure he really wishes he'd never found that French letter! Excellent writing, my friend. Well done. :)) Sandra xx
Comment Written 10-Sep-2019
reply by the author on 11-Sep-2019
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Thanks so much for your generous comments and the six stars, Sandra. Poor old Charles does seem to be in over his head at the moment. I hope he survives it all. :))