The French Letter
Viewing comments for Chapter 25 "The Seizure"A Novel
36 total reviews
Comment from Shirley E Kennedy
Hi Tony,
Wow!
Will Helen ever escape the drama around her?
I applaud your ability to cat a net of intrigue widely and tighten the drawstrings to catch as many as possible in its web.
You've done it again... even more intrigue.
Cleverly crafted and a pleasure to read.
Blessings
Shirley
reply by the author on 20-Dec-2018
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Hi Tony,
Wow!
Will Helen ever escape the drama around her?
I applaud your ability to cat a net of intrigue widely and tighten the drawstrings to catch as many as possible in its web.
You've done it again... even more intrigue.
Cleverly crafted and a pleasure to read.
Blessings
Shirley
Comment Written 18-Dec-2018
reply by the author on 20-Dec-2018
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What a web I?m weaving. I hope I can escape from it!
Comment from Gloria ....
Well it shall be interesting to see what the diary has to say, although I suspect it won't be quite as simple as all that as the intrigue must continue.
Excellent narration and dialogue although I'm not fond of hospitals either. They are a good thing though.
Gloria
reply by the author on 15-Nov-2018
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Well it shall be interesting to see what the diary has to say, although I suspect it won't be quite as simple as all that as the intrigue must continue.
Excellent narration and dialogue although I'm not fond of hospitals either. They are a good thing though.
Gloria
Comment Written 14-Nov-2018
reply by the author on 15-Nov-2018
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I agree with you about hospitals - definitely places of last resort! I suspect there will be enough in the diary to keep the plot bubbling along. All the best, Tony
Comment from kiwijenny
Again you leave us intrigued. I can't wait to see what the journal reveals .
Also poor Jeanne...a seizure? I think the pippin reference was awkward. There would need to be too much explaining. But it makes me want to go to Paris. I love a story that takes me there. It's on my bucket list for sure
God bless
reply by the author on 13-Nov-2018
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Again you leave us intrigued. I can't wait to see what the journal reveals .
Also poor Jeanne...a seizure? I think the pippin reference was awkward. There would need to be too much explaining. But it makes me want to go to Paris. I love a story that takes me there. It's on my bucket list for sure
God bless
Comment Written 10-Nov-2018
reply by the author on 13-Nov-2018
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Thanks, Jenny. I'm hoping that the journal will gradually reveal something about the character and actions of Helen and her relationship with Jeanne. The plot moves away from Paris for a while, but we will no doubt return there eventually! All the best,Tony
Comment from Winslow
Dear Tfawcus,
Quite an intertaining chapter. I haven't read many of the preceding chapters so don't know what is really going on but could guess and say they are being pursued by bad guys. Good dialogue and action throughout.
You sometimes over use was and had and I would cut down on the ly words.
Regards,
Winslow
reply by the author on 13-Nov-2018
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Dear Tfawcus,
Quite an intertaining chapter. I haven't read many of the preceding chapters so don't know what is really going on but could guess and say they are being pursued by bad guys. Good dialogue and action throughout.
You sometimes over use was and had and I would cut down on the ly words.
Regards,
Winslow
Comment Written 10-Nov-2018
reply by the author on 13-Nov-2018
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Thanks,Winslow. I appreciate your review, comments, and suggestions. I have gone back over the chapter and made one or two amendments. All the best, Tony
Comment from barbara.wilkey
I can't wait to find out what the diary has to say. I am also curious about Jeanne. Does she have a seizure disorder or is something else going on? Once again, a great write.
I was pretty sure that I heard an element of hero-worship in her voice when she continued. "Maybe that old Citroen has got the pip." (comma needed after continued because the dialogue continues)
reply by the author on 15-Nov-2018
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I can't wait to find out what the diary has to say. I am also curious about Jeanne. Does she have a seizure disorder or is something else going on? Once again, a great write.
I was pretty sure that I heard an element of hero-worship in her voice when she continued. "Maybe that old Citroen has got the pip." (comma needed after continued because the dialogue continues)
Comment Written 10-Nov-2018
reply by the author on 15-Nov-2018
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Thanks for this review, Barbara. I?m getting a bit out of sequence with replies! I appreciate your comments and the spag pick up. All the best, Tony.
Comment from Mistydawn
This is the first time I've read your story, but it was really easy to pick it up, get a sense of what's going on. Your characters seem real and your dialogue natural. I loved that bit of humor with the brandy. Being a nondrinker of hard liquor, I can understand where that could be quite a shock. The doctor being so close by worries me, especially with the mafia on their tail. Great job, full of action suspense. I just wish I had a six-star to give you.
reply by the author on 15-Nov-2018
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This is the first time I've read your story, but it was really easy to pick it up, get a sense of what's going on. Your characters seem real and your dialogue natural. I loved that bit of humor with the brandy. Being a nondrinker of hard liquor, I can understand where that could be quite a shock. The doctor being so close by worries me, especially with the mafia on their tail. Great job, full of action suspense. I just wish I had a six-star to give you.
Comment Written 10-Nov-2018
reply by the author on 15-Nov-2018
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Very many thanks for dropping by to review. I appreciate your kind comments and suggestion that the chapter is worth a sixth star - most affirming. .
Comment from KjSilver
My temper was frayed by the time I had struggled through the crowds, and when I reached our meeting point, I was annoyed to find neither Helen nor Jeanne were anywhere to be seen.
(if you take away their names at the end of the sentence and substitute it with they, I would then put a not after were (were not anywhere to be seen)
This read well. I had a couple areas of concern. I felt that the mood of the chapter fluctuated rapidly and wasn't consistant, paragraph to paragraph. I could be off on the characters because I have only read this piece of yours, so maybe they're a little weird or something.
Overall, great job, dialogue flowed well.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
reply by the author on 15-Nov-2018
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My temper was frayed by the time I had struggled through the crowds, and when I reached our meeting point, I was annoyed to find neither Helen nor Jeanne were anywhere to be seen.
(if you take away their names at the end of the sentence and substitute it with they, I would then put a not after were (were not anywhere to be seen)
This read well. I had a couple areas of concern. I felt that the mood of the chapter fluctuated rapidly and wasn't consistant, paragraph to paragraph. I could be off on the characters because I have only read this piece of yours, so maybe they're a little weird or something.
Overall, great job, dialogue flowed well.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 10-Nov-2018
reply by the author on 15-Nov-2018
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Good of you to drop by and review. I appreciate your constructive feedback and will take a further look at the parts you have mentioned. Best wishes, Tony.
Comment from rspoet
Hello Tony,
Another fine chapter in your story.
Almost sounds like Jeanne was poisoned. (maybe self dosed)
See how suspicious you've made your readers,
A bit of good fortune the doctor was there? Well, maybe.
And so the journal is finally opened, it only took twenty-five chapters.
Looking forward to twenty-six.
Robert
reply by the author on 15-Nov-2018
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Hello Tony,
Another fine chapter in your story.
Almost sounds like Jeanne was poisoned. (maybe self dosed)
See how suspicious you've made your readers,
A bit of good fortune the doctor was there? Well, maybe.
And so the journal is finally opened, it only took twenty-five chapters.
Looking forward to twenty-six.
Robert
Comment Written 10-Nov-2018
reply by the author on 15-Nov-2018
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Yes, poison is a possibility. We shall soon see. I hope there?s something worth reading in the journal after all this time!
Comment from Pam (respa)
-Another good chapter, Tony, that
doesn't lack for action and suspense.
-Once again, Jeanne seems to
bring about chaos and worry.
-It may not be her own fault, but maybe
there is more to it than we realize.
-Regardless, the plans of Charles and Helen
always have to accommodate her.
-It is fortunate for Helen and Jeanne that
the gentleman was able to help and
get her to the hospital.
-There isn't a lot that can be done since
Helen will be with Jeanne, so Charles sits
back to have a look at the journal.
-He just might discover some important
clues; if so, will he be able to share them,
or will he have to come up with a new plan?
-Time will tell.
reply by the author on 15-Nov-2018
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-Another good chapter, Tony, that
doesn't lack for action and suspense.
-Once again, Jeanne seems to
bring about chaos and worry.
-It may not be her own fault, but maybe
there is more to it than we realize.
-Regardless, the plans of Charles and Helen
always have to accommodate her.
-It is fortunate for Helen and Jeanne that
the gentleman was able to help and
get her to the hospital.
-There isn't a lot that can be done since
Helen will be with Jeanne, so Charles sits
back to have a look at the journal.
-He just might discover some important
clues; if so, will he be able to share them,
or will he have to come up with a new plan?
-Time will tell.
Comment Written 10-Nov-2018
reply by the author on 15-Nov-2018
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Many thanks for your review of this chapter, Pam, and for the extra star. Appreciated! All the best, Tony.
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You are very welcome and deserving, Tony.
Comment from Pearl Edwards
Good chapter Tony with plenty of drama to move the story further along.I liked Helen's outburst, "don't be so bloody patronising," but I thought the next little bit of dialogue was not quite what we'd expect from these two. Good description of the seizure though, but, for me, I would have cut back Charles reply to - how awful, what did you do? Enjoying the story,
cheers,
valda
reply by the author on 15-Nov-2018
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Good chapter Tony with plenty of drama to move the story further along.I liked Helen's outburst, "don't be so bloody patronising," but I thought the next little bit of dialogue was not quite what we'd expect from these two. Good description of the seizure though, but, for me, I would have cut back Charles reply to - how awful, what did you do? Enjoying the story,
cheers,
valda
Comment Written 10-Nov-2018
reply by the author on 15-Nov-2018
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Very many thanks for your review and suggestions, Valda. I'll take another look at those parts. All the best, Tony.