Perennials of War
Viewing comments for Chapter 95 "Chapter Neunundzwanzig Part eins"Is Anderson a gallant knight? Can he recover Shan
20 total reviews
Comment from rtobaygo
Good morning, Barbara
Enjoyed the post. You are able to take a typical scene of a family dinning together and make it interesting, not only does Zack learn about the oil rig catching on fire but Shana's anger over Anderson's good intention of putting money into her checking account backfires, leaving Anderson wondering if he did the right thing. Well done.
Unfortunately this will be my last review until the beginning of November (medical) when I again look forward to reading your posts.
Take care and stay safe,
Ray
reply by the author on 22-Sep-2018
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Good morning, Barbara
Enjoyed the post. You are able to take a typical scene of a family dinning together and make it interesting, not only does Zack learn about the oil rig catching on fire but Shana's anger over Anderson's good intention of putting money into her checking account backfires, leaving Anderson wondering if he did the right thing. Well done.
Unfortunately this will be my last review until the beginning of November (medical) when I again look forward to reading your posts.
Take care and stay safe,
Ray
Comment Written 21-Sep-2018
reply by the author on 22-Sep-2018
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You are in my prayers. Thank you for taking time to review.
Comment from apky
I had to laugh hard at the "table manners" when mobiles are not allowed. It reminded me of my own family's strict rules about getting to the dining room with mobiles. Mostly, it's the grownups rather than the children who break the rules!
The end of this chapter puzzled me a bit. I understand Shana's annoyance and Drew's action in the first place. But the indication seems to be that Shana's father is the one who discovered that Drew had sent money to Shana's account. Does her father control her account? Why? It can't be another "orthodox Jew" thing, can it? She's a grownup woman after all.
"I need to leave. One of (the) sites by Corpus has a fire."
They embraced [in a brothers' version of a hug. - you could leave all this out as it's redundant and rather clumsy]
reply by the author on 19-Sep-2018
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I had to laugh hard at the "table manners" when mobiles are not allowed. It reminded me of my own family's strict rules about getting to the dining room with mobiles. Mostly, it's the grownups rather than the children who break the rules!
The end of this chapter puzzled me a bit. I understand Shana's annoyance and Drew's action in the first place. But the indication seems to be that Shana's father is the one who discovered that Drew had sent money to Shana's account. Does her father control her account? Why? It can't be another "orthodox Jew" thing, can it? She's a grownup woman after all.
"I need to leave. One of (the) sites by Corpus has a fire."
They embraced [in a brothers' version of a hug. - you could leave all this out as it's redundant and rather clumsy]
Comment Written 19-Sep-2018
reply by the author on 19-Sep-2018
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I will make those corrections. Shana's father's control will come fully out later and Drew will completely understand more. Thank you for your help.
Comment from Sis Cat
Well, things blow up in this chapter such as oil rigs and relationships. I like how your chapter starts on an amusing note of men refusing to read instructions to building a bed. I love these lines because I have a parts drawer, too:
"And this is the extra parts' drawer. I empty it every few years." She laughed. "Occasionally, I have been known to add a few of these to help the project become sturdier."
Things heats up when the oil rig goes up in flames and things get really cooking when Shana explodes at Anderson:
"How dare you touch my checking account! I'm capable of financially taking care of myself. I don't need your money. Your money can't buy my affection. I'm not for sale."
I love how your chapter operates on multiple levels and that you keep several story threads moving forward. It was an engaging read. Thank you for sharing.
reply by the author on 19-Sep-2018
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Well, things blow up in this chapter such as oil rigs and relationships. I like how your chapter starts on an amusing note of men refusing to read instructions to building a bed. I love these lines because I have a parts drawer, too:
"And this is the extra parts' drawer. I empty it every few years." She laughed. "Occasionally, I have been known to add a few of these to help the project become sturdier."
Things heats up when the oil rig goes up in flames and things get really cooking when Shana explodes at Anderson:
"How dare you touch my checking account! I'm capable of financially taking care of myself. I don't need your money. Your money can't buy my affection. I'm not for sale."
I love how your chapter operates on multiple levels and that you keep several story threads moving forward. It was an engaging read. Thank you for sharing.
Comment Written 19-Sep-2018
reply by the author on 19-Sep-2018
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Thank you for your wonderful encouragement.
Comment from ciliverde
Oh they are doing offshore drilling? They need my brother, he does troubleshooting for those operations, he's an engineer. I did not notice any mistakes in your writing, although I know how it is to keep finding things to change. I don't know what Anderson did with her checking account, but that was a "gigantic mistake" as his dad commented.
Well done,
Carol
reply by the author on 19-Sep-2018
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Oh they are doing offshore drilling? They need my brother, he does troubleshooting for those operations, he's an engineer. I did not notice any mistakes in your writing, although I know how it is to keep finding things to change. I don't know what Anderson did with her checking account, but that was a "gigantic mistake" as his dad commented.
Well done,
Carol
Comment Written 19-Sep-2018
reply by the author on 19-Sep-2018
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Thank you for the kind review.
Comment from Artasylum
Love the image... I don't have a good feeling... I suspect Zachery might not return and then all hell will break loose. Smooth flow... good read so thanks for the write... looking forward. yours, diana
reply by the author on 18-Sep-2018
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Love the image... I don't have a good feeling... I suspect Zachery might not return and then all hell will break loose. Smooth flow... good read so thanks for the write... looking forward. yours, diana
Comment Written 18-Sep-2018
reply by the author on 18-Sep-2018
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Thank you for the kind review.
Comment from Jacqueline M Franklin
Hi, Barb
= Oops! Anderson got her feathers up.
= Now he has to explain himself. Men!
= As always a smooth flowing chapter.
Until we meet again ... Keep Smilin' (*<*)
Cheers, J
reply by the author on 17-Sep-2018
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Hi, Barb
= Oops! Anderson got her feathers up.
= Now he has to explain himself. Men!
= As always a smooth flowing chapter.
Until we meet again ... Keep Smilin' (*<*)
Cheers, J
Comment Written 17-Sep-2018
reply by the author on 17-Sep-2018
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Thank you for the kind review. I love hearing from you, again.
Comment from Sugarray77
Wow, two blow ups in one story... fire and angry woman... This is a good addition to your ongoing tale. I liked the pace and dialogue. I am also glad to see saying grace was included. Well done.
reply by the author on 17-Sep-2018
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Wow, two blow ups in one story... fire and angry woman... This is a good addition to your ongoing tale. I liked the pace and dialogue. I am also glad to see saying grace was included. Well done.
Comment Written 17-Sep-2018
reply by the author on 17-Sep-2018
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Thank you for the encouragement.
Comment from Air Spirit
I typically don't read stories/chapters, just because my love is poetry... so, I apologize for not really knowing the background of your story.. but I like your characters.. they are realistic, and seem like people that we would know.. either neighbors, or friends.. family too... I enjoy the bantering and teasing back and forth between some of the characters about how to put together a bed, and the age old question "should I read the directions or not?" That seems to be a common theme when more than one person attempts putting something together that requires some sense of mechanical skills.. of which I have little to none.. your story was easy to read, characters seem life-like and interesting, with foibles and idiosyncrasies and all! Enjoyable read!
reply by the author on 17-Sep-2018
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I typically don't read stories/chapters, just because my love is poetry... so, I apologize for not really knowing the background of your story.. but I like your characters.. they are realistic, and seem like people that we would know.. either neighbors, or friends.. family too... I enjoy the bantering and teasing back and forth between some of the characters about how to put together a bed, and the age old question "should I read the directions or not?" That seems to be a common theme when more than one person attempts putting something together that requires some sense of mechanical skills.. of which I have little to none.. your story was easy to read, characters seem life-like and interesting, with foibles and idiosyncrasies and all! Enjoyable read!
Comment Written 17-Sep-2018
reply by the author on 17-Sep-2018
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Thank you for the encouraging review.
Comment from c_lucas
Sometimes a man can get into trouble trying to help his woman. This is very well written with a smooth flow of words, making for a very interesting read. There is very good imagery.
reply by the author on 17-Sep-2018
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Sometimes a man can get into trouble trying to help his woman. This is very well written with a smooth flow of words, making for a very interesting read. There is very good imagery.
Comment Written 17-Sep-2018
reply by the author on 17-Sep-2018
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Thank you for the kind review.
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You're welcome.
Comment from Adri7enne
A good chapter, Barb. A lot of people on scene. I always find it hard to handle several people like this. You've done a good job. Although, not being familiar with all the characters, I appreciated the use of their names in the dialogues. I was a bit surprised at Shana's reaction to Drew's generosity. It's true she's young and probably resents being treated like a child sometimes. Well done, Barb.
reply by the author on 17-Sep-2018
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A good chapter, Barb. A lot of people on scene. I always find it hard to handle several people like this. You've done a good job. Although, not being familiar with all the characters, I appreciated the use of their names in the dialogues. I was a bit surprised at Shana's reaction to Drew's generosity. It's true she's young and probably resents being treated like a child sometimes. Well done, Barb.
Comment Written 17-Sep-2018
reply by the author on 17-Sep-2018
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Shana is extremely proud and they've had issues over money before. Drew messed up. Thank you for the kind review.