Perennials of War
Viewing comments for Chapter 94 "Chapter Achtundzwanzig Part funf"Is Anderson a gallant knight? Can he recover Shan
21 total reviews
Comment from heart of Lou
Why aren't you happy with what you've written? I'd say you're doing a great job. the dialog is great, and you get across how worried Drew is, and how uncertain Shana is. And then a bit of down -home domesticity as they assemble the bed to make it all seem like real. Hey! What's so significant about the bed? is the painting hidden in it somewhere?
reply by the author on 13-Sep-2018
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Why aren't you happy with what you've written? I'd say you're doing a great job. the dialog is great, and you get across how worried Drew is, and how uncertain Shana is. And then a bit of down -home domesticity as they assemble the bed to make it all seem like real. Hey! What's so significant about the bed? is the painting hidden in it somewhere?
Comment Written 13-Sep-2018
reply by the author on 13-Sep-2018
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The significance of the bed. Wow! Shana is old fashioned Jewish and Drew is Gentile. She needs protection but Drew promised her old fashioned father the won't compromise her. That's the fast version. There's a lot more to it. Thank you for the encouragement. PS the painting?? The Russian Mafia has it.
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Ok, thanks for explaining. I haven't read all the chapters so it's good to have you fill in the gaps.
Comment from country ranch writer
When has man ever read directions to putting anything together. Seems there is usually a part or two left over yet the object survives being put together.
reply by the author on 12-Sep-2018
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When has man ever read directions to putting anything together. Seems there is usually a part or two left over yet the object survives being put together.
Comment Written 12-Sep-2018
reply by the author on 12-Sep-2018
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Thank you for understanding. I had my husband and four sons in mind when I wrote this.
Comment from Mustang Patty
Hi, Barbara,
Great chapter. I loved the conversation between Drew and Shana. You let them interject some humor into a tense situation, and that is quite believable.
I feel we gathered a great deal of information. I wonder what the large sum of money was. It must have come from the Russian mob. How desperate is Patricia? Or, was she happy to have the chance to make trouble for Drew and Shana?
Looking forward to the next chapter,
~Mustang Patty~
reply by the author on 11-Sep-2018
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Hi, Barbara,
Great chapter. I loved the conversation between Drew and Shana. You let them interject some humor into a tense situation, and that is quite believable.
I feel we gathered a great deal of information. I wonder what the large sum of money was. It must have come from the Russian mob. How desperate is Patricia? Or, was she happy to have the chance to make trouble for Drew and Shana?
Looking forward to the next chapter,
~Mustang Patty~
Comment Written 11-Sep-2018
reply by the author on 11-Sep-2018
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I have a feeling we won't see Patricia again. HMM, I wonder why?? Thank you for the kind review.
Comment from barkingdog
This seemed like a 'taking care of business' chapter. Anderson got her phone number, they are putting together a bed, she need items and his mother can help.
He didn't seem angry at her, but was concerned that his body guards didn't do as he ordered. She sounds like she's tired of being cooped up in the apartment.
Typos:
"All right. I'll be home (in) soon.
"I think it may have depended into how much in( )debt she was
Keep them coming.
:) e
reply by the author on 11-Sep-2018
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This seemed like a 'taking care of business' chapter. Anderson got her phone number, they are putting together a bed, she need items and his mother can help.
He didn't seem angry at her, but was concerned that his body guards didn't do as he ordered. She sounds like she's tired of being cooped up in the apartment.
Typos:
"All right. I'll be home (in) soon.
"I think it may have depended into how much in( )debt she was
Keep them coming.
:) e
Comment Written 11-Sep-2018
reply by the author on 11-Sep-2018
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I had made corrections in those sentences last night and still messed up. Thank you for the help.
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I do the same thing when editing. haha
Comment from tfawcus
The alpha male is back on the scene and taking charge. The delineation of his character is sharp, and comes out in just about all of the dialogue. This chapter looks SPAG-free to me, except "I think it may have depended into how much indebt [in debt] she was... " It's a chapter that moves the action along well.
reply by the author on 11-Sep-2018
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The alpha male is back on the scene and taking charge. The delineation of his character is sharp, and comes out in just about all of the dialogue. This chapter looks SPAG-free to me, except "I think it may have depended into how much indebt [in debt] she was... " It's a chapter that moves the action along well.
Comment Written 11-Sep-2018
reply by the author on 11-Sep-2018
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I fixed that in debt. Thank you for the catch.
Comment from Sis Cat
Amazing, Barbara. It's good to be back. Your characters feel like old friends. I miss them. I enjoy these likable characters that reveal their vulnerabilities and foibles. This doubt from Shana is particularly intuitive and reveals a lot about her:
"Maybe I'm not very good at allowing people to protect me."
I enjoy the dialogue and repartee between characters, as in this passage:
"Oh, you're one of those guys?" Shana's eyebrows rose.
"One of what guys?" He attempted to fit the bolt.
"One who refuses to follow instructions."
This chapter feels luxuriant in length, allowing me to get into the story more than I could in chapters chopped into smaller pieces.
All in all, this was a fun read. Thank you for sharing.
reply by the author on 11-Sep-2018
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Amazing, Barbara. It's good to be back. Your characters feel like old friends. I miss them. I enjoy these likable characters that reveal their vulnerabilities and foibles. This doubt from Shana is particularly intuitive and reveals a lot about her:
"Maybe I'm not very good at allowing people to protect me."
I enjoy the dialogue and repartee between characters, as in this passage:
"Oh, you're one of those guys?" Shana's eyebrows rose.
"One of what guys?" He attempted to fit the bolt.
"One who refuses to follow instructions."
This chapter feels luxuriant in length, allowing me to get into the story more than I could in chapters chopped into smaller pieces.
All in all, this was a fun read. Thank you for sharing.
Comment Written 11-Sep-2018
reply by the author on 11-Sep-2018
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I am so glad you're back. I've missed you. Thank you.
Comment from Adri7enne
Once more, Anderson comes across as a 'take charge' kind of guy. Although, he's one of those stubborn characters who doesn't read directions and probably would circle the same building a dozen times before asking for help. I enjoyed taking a breather in your story. Leave a little time to have a little romance maybe. Well done, Barb.
reply by the author on 10-Sep-2018
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Once more, Anderson comes across as a 'take charge' kind of guy. Although, he's one of those stubborn characters who doesn't read directions and probably would circle the same building a dozen times before asking for help. I enjoyed taking a breather in your story. Leave a little time to have a little romance maybe. Well done, Barb.
Comment Written 10-Sep-2018
reply by the author on 10-Sep-2018
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Thank you for the encouraging review.
Comment from Sandra Stoner-Mitchell
Why are men like that? My husband always thinks he can do it better and quicker without the instructions! lol. I'm so pleased the dogs are back, I'd love to have them. I think Drew and Shana are getting to the point that something has got to be said to her father. They obviously are in love with each other. This was another lovely chapter, Barbara, and now I have to wait another week! :)) Sandra xx
reply by the author on 10-Sep-2018
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Why are men like that? My husband always thinks he can do it better and quicker without the instructions! lol. I'm so pleased the dogs are back, I'd love to have them. I think Drew and Shana are getting to the point that something has got to be said to her father. They obviously are in love with each other. This was another lovely chapter, Barbara, and now I have to wait another week! :)) Sandra xx
Comment Written 10-Sep-2018
reply by the author on 10-Sep-2018
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I'm glad the dogs are back too. I was trying to figure a way to get them in, again. There will be a talk with Benjamin, but it will take a while to get there.
Comment from Ben Colder
I have not felt like reviewing anything but waited until you posted for I am knee deep in this story. You manage to keep the readers wanting more. Another good one. Thanks Barb.
reply by the author on 10-Sep-2018
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I have not felt like reviewing anything but waited until you posted for I am knee deep in this story. You manage to keep the readers wanting more. Another good one. Thanks Barb.
Comment Written 10-Sep-2018
reply by the author on 10-Sep-2018
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Thank you for taking the time to follow me. I hope you start feeling better. You're in my prayers.
Comment from Grace Fletcher
Wow, what an extensive list of characters you have in this! Your characters are believable, especially in their dialogue interactions. I like your writing style and would definitely read more of this when you post. :)
reply by the author on 10-Sep-2018
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Wow, what an extensive list of characters you have in this! Your characters are believable, especially in their dialogue interactions. I like your writing style and would definitely read more of this when you post. :)
Comment Written 10-Sep-2018
reply by the author on 10-Sep-2018
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Thank you for the encouragement. I hope to see you again.