Perennials of War
Viewing comments for Chapter 90 "Chapter Achtundzwanzig Part eins"Is Anderson a gallant knight? Can he recover Shan
24 total reviews
Comment from BeasPeas
Hi Barbara. This chapter of your story is well written. Dialogue is natural. Nuances of the characters behavior are naturally explained which make them real for the reader. Good luck in the contest. Marilyn
reply by the author on 04-Sep-2018
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Hi Barbara. This chapter of your story is well written. Dialogue is natural. Nuances of the characters behavior are naturally explained which make them real for the reader. Good luck in the contest. Marilyn
Comment Written 03-Sep-2018
reply by the author on 04-Sep-2018
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Thank you for the kind review.
Comment from Renee J. St.Germain
You've done an excellent job writing so far. You've painted it so I feel like I am actually in the room with them and see everything that is going on. Yikes! What an awkward situation for Shana to be stuck with Drew's ex wife! Nice work, and I wish you the best in the contest.
reply by the author on 03-Sep-2018
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You've done an excellent job writing so far. You've painted it so I feel like I am actually in the room with them and see everything that is going on. Yikes! What an awkward situation for Shana to be stuck with Drew's ex wife! Nice work, and I wish you the best in the contest.
Comment Written 03-Sep-2018
reply by the author on 03-Sep-2018
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Thank you for the kind review.
Comment from JSimpl2
This chapter stands well on its own though it is clearly a story with more behind and more ahead in the book. Initially a bit confusing because of entry 'mid-stream' in a tale, eventually it became clear who was who in this chapter. The entry of the ex-wife provides foreshadowing of twists in the plot. The young woman staying at Drew's parents house is a conundrum for a reader who has not been privy to prior chapters but she presents an interesting tidbit for future chapters.
A possible alteration might clarify for a new reader the characters' roles in order to remove possible confusion but that would be up to the author to decide if it matters. Presumably a reader would begin at the start of the book and read to the end so would know who's who in this chapter.
The author has skills in grammar, punctuation, and spelling which make the reading of the chapter pleasant and allow the reader's attention to focus of the flow of the story and the development of the characters. Well done. Keep up the good work and thanks for the read.
reply by the author on 25-Aug-2018
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This chapter stands well on its own though it is clearly a story with more behind and more ahead in the book. Initially a bit confusing because of entry 'mid-stream' in a tale, eventually it became clear who was who in this chapter. The entry of the ex-wife provides foreshadowing of twists in the plot. The young woman staying at Drew's parents house is a conundrum for a reader who has not been privy to prior chapters but she presents an interesting tidbit for future chapters.
A possible alteration might clarify for a new reader the characters' roles in order to remove possible confusion but that would be up to the author to decide if it matters. Presumably a reader would begin at the start of the book and read to the end so would know who's who in this chapter.
The author has skills in grammar, punctuation, and spelling which make the reading of the chapter pleasant and allow the reader's attention to focus of the flow of the story and the development of the characters. Well done. Keep up the good work and thanks for the read.
Comment Written 23-Aug-2018
reply by the author on 25-Aug-2018
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Thank you for the encouraging review. Sorry you missed the beginning.
Comment from Sankey
Good chapter again. So the "ex" has turned up. I wonder what else she has brought with her? I wondered about Shana's comment out loud?? or thought?? After speaking to Susan and referring to her choice of the King Lear book?
One possible correction question mark is me wondering.
Just in case(;?) I want to be ready."
reply by the author on 19-Aug-2018
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Good chapter again. So the "ex" has turned up. I wonder what else she has brought with her? I wondered about Shana's comment out loud?? or thought?? After speaking to Susan and referring to her choice of the King Lear book?
One possible correction question mark is me wondering.
Just in case(;?) I want to be ready."
Comment Written 19-Aug-2018
reply by the author on 19-Aug-2018
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I will recheck those areas. Thank you for the kind review.
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No worries.
Comment from robyn corum
Barbara,
A nice chapter continuing the story. I already don't like this new lady. Exactly as you planned, I suspect. *smile* I also expect some rather uncomfortable moments until Drew returns.
Just one note:
1.) how was I to know I'd meet Drew." She released a deep breath.
--> no q mark
Thanks!
reply by the author on 18-Aug-2018
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Barbara,
A nice chapter continuing the story. I already don't like this new lady. Exactly as you planned, I suspect. *smile* I also expect some rather uncomfortable moments until Drew returns.
Just one note:
1.) how was I to know I'd meet Drew." She released a deep breath.
--> no q mark
Thanks!
Comment Written 16-Aug-2018
reply by the author on 18-Aug-2018
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I had another reviewers comment on that and I thought I fixed it. Maybe I forgot to save. Thank you for catching it.
Comment from Sasha
Something tells me that Drew's ex-wife is no match for Shana. I wonder what his mother will say she she comes inside and finds her there. Ex-wives and ex-husbands can be real pain and ruin a perfectly good day, Nice work with this chapter. I look forward to the next one.
reply by the author on 18-Aug-2018
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Something tells me that Drew's ex-wife is no match for Shana. I wonder what his mother will say she she comes inside and finds her there. Ex-wives and ex-husbands can be real pain and ruin a perfectly good day, Nice work with this chapter. I look forward to the next one.
Comment Written 16-Aug-2018
reply by the author on 18-Aug-2018
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Thank you for the kind review. We have met Patricia before at the penthouse.
Comment from Adri7enne
Good to read you again, Barb. You got even better during my absence. I like how you move the story along without long descriptive passages. It flows unimpeded, with great dialogue and interesting characters. I'll start from here and see if I can grasp the story line. This was a good chapter.
reply by the author on 15-Aug-2018
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Good to read you again, Barb. You got even better during my absence. I like how you move the story along without long descriptive passages. It flows unimpeded, with great dialogue and interesting characters. I'll start from here and see if I can grasp the story line. This was a good chapter.
Comment Written 15-Aug-2018
reply by the author on 15-Aug-2018
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Welcome back. If you have questions, I'd be happy answer them. Thank you for the kind review.
Comment from Merajul
I have not been able to read all the chapters yet I could appreciate the composition for its flow and dialogues. So many characters for a first time reader but the clarity is not lost. I am able to get a sense of the plot and I am sure the full story must be very engaging. All the best.
reply by the author on 14-Aug-2018
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I have not been able to read all the chapters yet I could appreciate the composition for its flow and dialogues. So many characters for a first time reader but the clarity is not lost. I am able to get a sense of the plot and I am sure the full story must be very engaging. All the best.
Comment Written 14-Aug-2018
reply by the author on 14-Aug-2018
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Thank you for the kind review.
Comment from Sandra Stoner-Mitchell
That was good timing! I don't fancy Shana's jog of entertaining the 'ex' especially after what we've been hearing about her. But, she had to show up sometime to cause a rift. I hope Susan comes in from the garden and sorts her out. I don't like anyone who doesn't like the countryside. Well done, my friend, another excellent episode. :) Sandra xx
reply by the author on 13-Aug-2018
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That was good timing! I don't fancy Shana's jog of entertaining the 'ex' especially after what we've been hearing about her. But, she had to show up sometime to cause a rift. I hope Susan comes in from the garden and sorts her out. I don't like anyone who doesn't like the countryside. Well done, my friend, another excellent episode. :) Sandra xx
Comment Written 13-Aug-2018
reply by the author on 13-Aug-2018
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I hope Susan does to, but I have a feeling it's not going to happen. Thank you for the kind review.
Comment from rtobaygo
Good afternoon, Barbara
Enjoyed the continuation. So as the romance blossoms as Anderson's ex wife comes into the picture. I'm guessing it won't have a positive outcome. I think Shana will find out more about Drew then she bargained for which might make her view him in a different light
take care and stay safe,
Ray.
reply by the author on 13-Aug-2018
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Good afternoon, Barbara
Enjoyed the continuation. So as the romance blossoms as Anderson's ex wife comes into the picture. I'm guessing it won't have a positive outcome. I think Shana will find out more about Drew then she bargained for which might make her view him in a different light
take care and stay safe,
Ray.
Comment Written 13-Aug-2018
reply by the author on 13-Aug-2018
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Thank you for the kind review.