The French Letter
Viewing comments for Chapter 2 "An Unexpected Meeting"A Novel
20 total reviews
Comment from trimple
Good afternoon, Tony.
I'm enjoying this. You have a great sense of drawing your reader in and have them travel along with you. Some great descriptions.
The drama that unfolded as you sat at the cafe was written particularly well.
an intensity underlined by the elegant steeple she made with her fingertips--fabulous description.
It also highlighted the soft outline of the young lady's cheek and glinted on the opalescence of her drop pearl earring.--such detail.
I was loathe--loathed? to ferret through the bag,
was very much in keeping with the pessimism of some of Maupassant's better known short stories. I shall have to look this up.
Looking forward to the next instalment.
kind regards
tracey
reply by the author on 16-Aug-2018
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Good afternoon, Tony.
I'm enjoying this. You have a great sense of drawing your reader in and have them travel along with you. Some great descriptions.
The drama that unfolded as you sat at the cafe was written particularly well.
an intensity underlined by the elegant steeple she made with her fingertips--fabulous description.
It also highlighted the soft outline of the young lady's cheek and glinted on the opalescence of her drop pearl earring.--such detail.
I was loathe--loathed? to ferret through the bag,
was very much in keeping with the pessimism of some of Maupassant's better known short stories. I shall have to look this up.
Looking forward to the next instalment.
kind regards
tracey
Comment Written 16-Aug-2018
reply by the author on 16-Aug-2018
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Once again, I appreciate your continuing support with comments about the story. I'm glad you picked up on 'loathe' for, when I looked it up, I found I'd used the wrong word! As the Oxford Dictionary explains: "Although different in meaning, loath and loathe are often confused. Loath is an adjective (also spelled loth) meaning ?reluctant or unwilling?, as in I was loath to leave, whereas loathe is a verb meaning ?feel intense dislike or disgust for?, as in she loathed him on sight"
I meant to write 'loath' - and have now amended it.
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Ah! Now it all makes sense :)
Comment from Pearl Edwards
Great descriptions of the two women in the café, particularly liked the 'elegant steeple' she made with her fingers. Very visual scene puts the reader right there at the café with them.
Enjoyed,
cheers,
valda
reply by the author on 12-Aug-2018
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Great descriptions of the two women in the café, particularly liked the 'elegant steeple' she made with her fingers. Very visual scene puts the reader right there at the café with them.
Enjoyed,
cheers,
valda
Comment Written 12-Aug-2018
reply by the author on 12-Aug-2018
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Very many thanks for your kind comments about this chapter, Valda, and for the six stars. I'm delighted that this is giving you a little enjoyment! All the best, Tony
Comment from Sandra Stoner-Mitchell
This is getting more and more mysterious, Tony. There is a touch of doom mixed with excitement. What on earth could a freelance travel writer have knowledge of that has obviously had her companion murdered. (as that's what I think happened. It wasn't an accident!) Going on to read the next part now! Well done, my friend. :) Sandra x
reply by the author on 12-Aug-2018
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This is getting more and more mysterious, Tony. There is a touch of doom mixed with excitement. What on earth could a freelance travel writer have knowledge of that has obviously had her companion murdered. (as that's what I think happened. It wasn't an accident!) Going on to read the next part now! Well done, my friend. :) Sandra x
Comment Written 10-Aug-2018
reply by the author on 12-Aug-2018
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Good question! I wondered much the same. Maybe she's only using that as a cover for more nefarious activities. There's obviously some dirty work going on. I'm as excited as you to see what happens next!
Comment from Giddy Nielsen-Sweep
This is great, Tony. It is a most engaging tale with lots of drama and unexpected twists. Excellent picture to illustrate that you chose, too. I'd like to read more, Giddy a
reply by the author on 09-Aug-2018
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This is great, Tony. It is a most engaging tale with lots of drama and unexpected twists. Excellent picture to illustrate that you chose, too. I'd like to read more, Giddy a
Comment Written 08-Aug-2018
reply by the author on 09-Aug-2018
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Thanks, Giddy. Glad you are enjoying it. Now that I'm getting into the swing of the story, I'm beginning to enjoy writing it. Best wishes, Tony
Comment from giraffmang
Another excellent write. Very engaging throughout.
struck by the feline intensity with which her partner listened - that's a great description.
The incidental detailing throughout gives much more depth to the story, without getting bogged down in lots of extra wordage and narrative. That is quite a skill.
Eventually, the older woman stood up and bent forward to give a quick peck on each cheek before she left.- perhaps rework this a little. Earlier it says he couldn't see her as she had her back to him but now he can determine she is older before she turns. Just a thought.
Lots of strong, good tension and intrigue in this instalment.
reply by the author on 09-Aug-2018
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Another excellent write. Very engaging throughout.
struck by the feline intensity with which her partner listened - that's a great description.
The incidental detailing throughout gives much more depth to the story, without getting bogged down in lots of extra wordage and narrative. That is quite a skill.
Eventually, the older woman stood up and bent forward to give a quick peck on each cheek before she left.- perhaps rework this a little. Earlier it says he couldn't see her as she had her back to him but now he can determine she is older before she turns. Just a thought.
Lots of strong, good tension and intrigue in this instalment.
Comment Written 08-Aug-2018
reply by the author on 09-Aug-2018
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Thanks for hanging in there with this one, Gareth. I appreciate your comments and the sixth star. I've added a touch of grey to the older woman's hair now!
There's quite a bit of dialogue in the next chapter. I'm hoping that it comes across all right, and helps to begin rounding out the two main characters. All the best, Tony
Comment from Pam (respa)
-A good image choice and well written chapter, Tony.
-You have used vivid descriptions of
the ladies as they were immersed in deep conversation.
-You also paint a word picture of the setting and what
the narrator observes in the following paragraph.
-The action scene that follows adds suspense to the story.
-It leaves us wondering what will happen to both women.
-Obviously, Helen was quite distraught, and her
reaction to her missing bag adds a sense of mystery.
-Even the narrator feels "a sense of foreboding"
as the chapter draws to a close.
-One very small thing: "most the crowd had" [of the crowd]
reply by the author on 09-Aug-2018
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-A good image choice and well written chapter, Tony.
-You have used vivid descriptions of
the ladies as they were immersed in deep conversation.
-You also paint a word picture of the setting and what
the narrator observes in the following paragraph.
-The action scene that follows adds suspense to the story.
-It leaves us wondering what will happen to both women.
-Obviously, Helen was quite distraught, and her
reaction to her missing bag adds a sense of mystery.
-Even the narrator feels "a sense of foreboding"
as the chapter draws to a close.
-One very small thing: "most the crowd had" [of the crowd]
Comment Written 07-Aug-2018
reply by the author on 09-Aug-2018
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Very many thanks for your encouraging comments, Pam, your eagle eye, and the sixth star! All much appreciated, as you know. Best wishes, Tony
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You are welcome and deserving of the 6*s and the review, Tony. I am glad you appreciate my "eagle eye."
Comment from rspoet
Hello Tony,
Master of suspense! Now there are two mysteries,
the original letter and behavior of Helen Culverson, and also the poor woman hit by the car, accident or maybe something else.
Excellent hook to draw in the reader.
Nice allusion to Maupassant short stories and the sense of foreboding.
The mention of Vermeer and Maupassant also tell us the person telling the story
is either well educated or worldly.
It seems fate or serendipity will play a part in the ensuing chapters.
Most entrapping beginning
Robert
reply by the author on 09-Aug-2018
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Hello Tony,
Master of suspense! Now there are two mysteries,
the original letter and behavior of Helen Culverson, and also the poor woman hit by the car, accident or maybe something else.
Excellent hook to draw in the reader.
Nice allusion to Maupassant short stories and the sense of foreboding.
The mention of Vermeer and Maupassant also tell us the person telling the story
is either well educated or worldly.
It seems fate or serendipity will play a part in the ensuing chapters.
Most entrapping beginning
Robert
Comment Written 07-Aug-2018
reply by the author on 09-Aug-2018
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Thanks for your encouraging comments, Robert, and for the sixth star. I hope I don't trip myself up with all the twists and turns! All the best, Tony
Comment from robyn corum
Tony,
I have to tell you that I loved the fact that this cultured and intelligent man wrapped the purse in paper - I assume to avoid being seen carrying a woman's purse? I loved it!
I didn't understand the reasoning for the following:
-->A sense of foreboding came upon me as I set off
--> anxious to see more about that.
A great piece, in your articulate and unique style. I enjoyed!
reply by the author on 09-Aug-2018
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Tony,
I have to tell you that I loved the fact that this cultured and intelligent man wrapped the purse in paper - I assume to avoid being seen carrying a woman's purse? I loved it!
I didn't understand the reasoning for the following:
-->A sense of foreboding came upon me as I set off
--> anxious to see more about that.
A great piece, in your articulate and unique style. I enjoyed!
Comment Written 07-Aug-2018
reply by the author on 09-Aug-2018
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You are right, Robyn - I don't think that this gentleman is of the kind that would carry a purse! He's a bit old-fashioned about things like that! LOL
His foreboding is a gut reaction to some of the things that have been happening. The next chapter may make it clearer.
Glad you are enjoying the story so far. I appreciate your time reading it.
Best wishes, Tony
Comment from estory
There is a decided air of mystery and an ominous, nefarious quality to the scene you paint here, and it is an interesting paint job, with these surreal light effects and the mysteriousness of people talking in a foreign language. The shock of the accident, and the injured woman, gives way to this moment when you go with the other lady, who seems to be trying to hide, and recover her bag at the scene of the crime. You help her, and it all seems to cast a strange shadow of forboding over everything. You seem to be getting involved in some plot, against your will, dragged in by the mysterious power of the woman. The setting, in a foreign city, adds to the surreal, mysterious air. I think it was well crafted and there is a lot of suspense in the air. We want to see how this unfolds, and what's going on here. interesting little piece estory
reply by the author on 07-Aug-2018
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There is a decided air of mystery and an ominous, nefarious quality to the scene you paint here, and it is an interesting paint job, with these surreal light effects and the mysteriousness of people talking in a foreign language. The shock of the accident, and the injured woman, gives way to this moment when you go with the other lady, who seems to be trying to hide, and recover her bag at the scene of the crime. You help her, and it all seems to cast a strange shadow of forboding over everything. You seem to be getting involved in some plot, against your will, dragged in by the mysterious power of the woman. The setting, in a foreign city, adds to the surreal, mysterious air. I think it was well crafted and there is a lot of suspense in the air. We want to see how this unfolds, and what's going on here. interesting little piece estory
Comment Written 06-Aug-2018
reply by the author on 07-Aug-2018
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Many thanks for your comments about the atmosphere being created in this chapter. Your interest spurs me to continue! Best wishes, Tony
Comment from nancy_e_davis
You have a great air of mystery woven into your story Tony. I am eager to see what comes from his meeting with Helen.
Was her companion's death an accident or a planned incident. I am anxious for some answers. Well done.:) Nancy
reply by the author on 07-Aug-2018
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You have a great air of mystery woven into your story Tony. I am eager to see what comes from his meeting with Helen.
Was her companion's death an accident or a planned incident. I am anxious for some answers. Well done.:) Nancy
Comment Written 06-Aug-2018
reply by the author on 07-Aug-2018
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Thanks, Nancy. At this stage, as I set out for my meeting in Parc Monceau, I am also looking for some answers. There were some strange and unexplained aspects to the incident at the cafe.