Comment from rtobaygo

Excellent

Good morning, Barbara

Enjoyed the continuation. Virtual six. Bit of a conundrum with Kuznetsov -- the painting Shana doesn't want yet he's still trying to kill her. The sexual tension between Shana and Anderson increases, her fear her father would learn about her and Anderson still occupying her thoughts..

Observation:

Drew was worried there might be more men outside," started Shana. had to pause -- the word started do you mean said?

Take care and stay safe,

Ray

 Comment Written 01-Aug-2018

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reply by the author on 01-Aug-2018

I will recheck that area. Thank you for bringing to my attention.

Comment from kiwijenny

Excellent

Barbara I will be praying for you. New changes are hard
I liked this chapter.Shana and Anderson are getting closer
So cool...well penned
God bless. I enjoyed it

 Comment Written 31-Jul-2018

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reply by the author on 01-Aug-2018

Thank you for the kind review.

Comment from boxergirl

Exceptional

Well, I haven't been reviewing lately but I can tell by these two post that you have another great story going here. As always, awesome dialogue! God bless!!

 Comment Written 31-Jul-2018

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reply by the author on 31-Jul-2018

Thank you for the encouraging review.

Comment from Artasylum

Excellent

Well this is pretty suspicious BARBARA. WILKEY... Me thinks there is a crush going on here and I believe there is much left to unfurl here. Looking forward to your next installment. yours, diana

 Comment Written 30-Jul-2018

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reply by the author on 31-Jul-2018

There is a crush going on her and Shana needs to say so. LOL Thank you for the kind review.

Comment from Air Spirit

Excellent

and the saga continues... it is an interesting and fun story... I definitely am hooked to find out how the 'painting' is involved in all of this and what deep, dark secret it holds for the story... I am sure it will be interesting... I didn't come in at the beginning of your book, but I am gaining interest as I go along and gain more info and insight into the characters... look forward to the next chapter!

 Comment Written 30-Jul-2018

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reply by the author on 31-Jul-2018

Thank you for the encouragement.

Comment from robyn corum

Excellent

Ouch. I can understand your hesitation with the school changes -- every new administrator brings their own way of doing things - even if the older ways are working well. *smile*

The chapter was fine - though I was a bit confused at the ending. She's explained this twice already -- was she lying?

Thanks!

 Comment Written 30-Jul-2018

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reply by the author on 30-Jul-2018

I think Anderson wants to make sure. He's hoping there's more to the story. LOL Thank you for the kind review.

Comment from Ben Colder

Exceptional

Wow ! What a story. Shanna is in love and fails to give it a try. Gentleman as he can be the young man is perplexed. Women! Nobody knows the mind of a woman. LOL.
Well done Barb.

 Comment Written 30-Jul-2018

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reply by the author on 30-Jul-2018

Hey, half the time we don't we know our own mind. LOL Thank you for the kind review.

Comment from apky

Excellent

I'm in for the usual deletions to empty my inbox, so when I got to your story I took the time to read it. I was delighted that it was - considering the length of your posts normally - a little longer than usual. It promised me a longer read and so I dove in, looking forward to enjoying myself.

Drew and Shana still have their little intimacy problems. Drew seems to be getting impatient. I would too, and quite frankly, every time I read on this particularly "oh, no" from Shana, I roll my eyes to the ceiling. It's geting to be boring for the reader. If I were you I'd take the mention of this "problem" out of the story, or gloss over it until the two reach a new stage with this.

Drew is right here, for example: "Last night, you trusted me enough to sleep beside me, but you don't trust me enough to sit beside me on a bed. I don't understand. Please explain." Very logical, very mature, and warranted.

Then you give the reader (and Drew) those moments of silence. The reader is holding their breath to know what Shana will say, what her answer for Drew will be. But (you) Shana, after all that teasing and breath-holding has nothing better to say but:

"I can't." Shana studied her hands as she fidgeted with them.

Barbara, I groaned this time, not just rolled my eyes. You need to give Shana more spine, she's 25, not 15 - Orthodox background notwithstanding.

Keep on writing. Below are a couple of nits.

Stay safe, and keep doing what you're doing (and-delete?).

You're(Your) face says it all.

 Comment Written 30-Jul-2018

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reply by the author on 30-Jul-2018

Thank you for your opinion and your corrections. I have made the corrections. I will think about the rest. Shana is from a VERY fundamentalist Jewish background. Her changing will not happen over night and I know this novel has taken months to post, it time wise has only been less than two weeks in story time. I don't believe she would she would lose 23 years of indoctrination in less than two years. She is growing and by the end of the novel will cave in.

reply by apky on 30-Jul-2018

You're right - I've been reading the story for, what, almost a year now? So it seemed like months in the story, not just two weeks. It's also because you normally post very short parts of any complete chapter (the way I've been told readers of FS like it).

reply by the author on 31-Jul-2018

Very true. I used to post about 1500 words on FS and got a lot of complaints so I switched to about 500 words, hence the apology for longer posts. I always try to post high so there's a reason to read me. But work often gets in the way of my reviewing.

Comment from Mustang Patty

Excellent

Hi, Barbara,

This chapter went far in explaining to the family (as well as the readers) why Shana is so careful. I liked the pacing of the conversation around the table and how Drew tried to comfort Shana and open a real dialogue.

Wonderful work, as always.

I will pray for your situation at school - I know change is scary and sometimes difficult as new people try to put their 'stamp' on how things are run.

~patty~

 Comment Written 30-Jul-2018

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reply by the author on 30-Jul-2018

Thank you for your prayers. All indications are that she micromanages. I have been a teacher since 1976. It was of and on because I stayed home with my babies until they got into school, plus my husband was military and if took time to get certified in the different states. Anyway, I know what I'm doing and my results prove it. Thank you for the kind review..

Comment from Sandra Stoner-Mitchell

Excellent

I'm so glad the dogs are coming back, they will make Shana feel a lot safer. I would trust them more than the other security men. lol. So, two dimensional gold leaf? Very clever. It's coming together nicely, Barbara, excellent part. :) Sandra xxx

 Comment Written 30-Jul-2018

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reply by the author on 30-Jul-2018

Thank you for the kind review.