Perennials of War
Viewing comments for Chapter 80 "Chapter Vierundzwanzig Part drei"Is Anderson a gallant knight? Can he recover Shan
21 total reviews
Comment from rama devi
As usual, good pacing, dialog descriptive detail and characterization. Good POV, especially in the ending.
Two spag nits:
*The men folk are going back to Wild Road(,) and there's a lot to be done before dinner tonight."
* Jeff's checking the house(,) and I'll add whatever is necessary.
Haven't kept track of the plot, but the scene comes to life when I read a stand alone chapter. Well done.
Love,
rd
reply by the author on 07-Jun-2018
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As usual, good pacing, dialog descriptive detail and characterization. Good POV, especially in the ending.
Two spag nits:
*The men folk are going back to Wild Road(,) and there's a lot to be done before dinner tonight."
* Jeff's checking the house(,) and I'll add whatever is necessary.
Haven't kept track of the plot, but the scene comes to life when I read a stand alone chapter. Well done.
Love,
rd
Comment Written 07-Jun-2018
reply by the author on 07-Jun-2018
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Of course, it's those stupid little commas that are getting me. I appreciate the catches. Both of those commas I knew needed to be there, I just missed them.
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That's why proofreading with fresh eyes is optimal prior to publishing. The brain sees things as they are meant to be, not always how they are!
Love,
rd
Comment from Swampfox1
You end the story in suspense, leaves me wanting to read more. It read well from the start, also held my interest from the first sentence. I did not spot any errors, Great job. I would give you six stars but I am already out. Thanks for sharing and have a great day.
reply by the author on 07-Jun-2018
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You end the story in suspense, leaves me wanting to read more. It read well from the start, also held my interest from the first sentence. I did not spot any errors, Great job. I would give you six stars but I am already out. Thanks for sharing and have a great day.
Comment Written 06-Jun-2018
reply by the author on 07-Jun-2018
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Thank you for the encouraging review.
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you're welcome
Comment from Meia (MESAYERS)
Shana nodded and left. As she stood on the patio, she noticed two male forms in the building. She stopped and studied the scene. I wonder who's with Drew. He's holding something in his hand, but what? They're talking, but I can't make it out. It looks like Drew's hurt. This can't be good. ' As always you leave me wanting more with this superb write Barbara. I am so glad school is out and you will be able to write more, I enjoy every one of your works. Superb as ever love and regards Meia x
reply by the author on 06-Jun-2018
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Shana nodded and left. As she stood on the patio, she noticed two male forms in the building. She stopped and studied the scene. I wonder who's with Drew. He's holding something in his hand, but what? They're talking, but I can't make it out. It looks like Drew's hurt. This can't be good. ' As always you leave me wanting more with this superb write Barbara. I am so glad school is out and you will be able to write more, I enjoy every one of your works. Superb as ever love and regards Meia x
Comment Written 05-Jun-2018
reply by the author on 06-Jun-2018
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Thank you for the encouraging review.
Comment from Music Bob
Wow. This is good. I have just rejoined fan story and have forgotten how good some of the authors are. This is the first chapter I have seen of your book. It seems very interest it also looks a very complicated storyline but I like the way you are reminding who everyone is. Well done.
reply by the author on 05-Jun-2018
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Wow. This is good. I have just rejoined fan story and have forgotten how good some of the authors are. This is the first chapter I have seen of your book. It seems very interest it also looks a very complicated storyline but I like the way you are reminding who everyone is. Well done.
Comment Written 05-Jun-2018
reply by the author on 05-Jun-2018
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Thank you for the kind review and welcome back.
Comment from Phyllis Stewart
Drew's hurt? Who are those two men? Now you're scaring me. What a terrible place to end it. No, a great place, actually, just as I would do. It's no fun for the reader, though. LOL!
Susan used arm movements as she spoke
Try this instead:
Susan gestured as she spoke.
reply by the author on 05-Jun-2018
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Drew's hurt? Who are those two men? Now you're scaring me. What a terrible place to end it. No, a great place, actually, just as I would do. It's no fun for the reader, though. LOL!
Susan used arm movements as she spoke
Try this instead:
Susan gestured as she spoke.
Comment Written 04-Jun-2018
reply by the author on 05-Jun-2018
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I like gestured much better, thank you.
Comment from Ulla
Hi Barbara, another fine chapter, and I really enjoyed the read. I'm not sure, I've lost a chapter. I need to go back. I've been away to the States for a while. But I do like how the story is moving on. All the best. Ulla:)))
reply by the author on 05-Jun-2018
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Hi Barbara, another fine chapter, and I really enjoyed the read. I'm not sure, I've lost a chapter. I need to go back. I've been away to the States for a while. But I do like how the story is moving on. All the best. Ulla:)))
Comment Written 04-Jun-2018
reply by the author on 05-Jun-2018
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Thank you for the kind review. I hope you had a great vacation.
Comment from Mustang Patty
Hi, Barbara;
I liked the interaction between Shana and Drew's brother and friends. I'm a bit surprised that Shana doesn't think she's Drew's girl. I just assumed she knew.
Another great chapter - and I don't think it was too long. I needed to know the information you provided within the lines.
"Wantta bet?" Zachery continued walking.' Wouldn't wanna work better here? Just a suggestion...
~patty~
reply by the author on 04-Jun-2018
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Hi, Barbara;
I liked the interaction between Shana and Drew's brother and friends. I'm a bit surprised that Shana doesn't think she's Drew's girl. I just assumed she knew.
Another great chapter - and I don't think it was too long. I needed to know the information you provided within the lines.
"Wantta bet?" Zachery continued walking.' Wouldn't wanna work better here? Just a suggestion...
~patty~
Comment Written 04-Jun-2018
reply by the author on 04-Jun-2018
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I will make that correction. Shana knows Drew's feelings, but she continues to attempt to ignore them.
Comment from Sasha
Every thing was going just fine and you hit us with a major cliffhanger, not nice. Now we have to wait to find out who the two strangers are and if Drew is hurt. I found on sentence you may or may not want to look at: ask that question to..I don't think you need the 'to' at the end of this sentence. It works fine without it.
As always, I anxiously look forward to the next chapter.
reply by the author on 04-Jun-2018
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Every thing was going just fine and you hit us with a major cliffhanger, not nice. Now we have to wait to find out who the two strangers are and if Drew is hurt. I found on sentence you may or may not want to look at: ask that question to..I don't think you need the 'to' at the end of this sentence. It works fine without it.
As always, I anxiously look forward to the next chapter.
Comment Written 04-Jun-2018
reply by the author on 04-Jun-2018
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I will check it out. Thank you for the kind review.
Comment from rtobaygo
Good morning, Barbara
Enjoyed the continuation. I like, that despite the serious, threatening action they await from Kuznetsov, it hasn't impacted their relationships between one another ("But there's always an element of truth in what I say," yelled Zachery from another room Jeff was hitting on your gal, and I stopped him.") and from living their daily lives. Well done.
Take care and stay safe,
Ray
reply by the author on 04-Jun-2018
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Good morning, Barbara
Enjoyed the continuation. I like, that despite the serious, threatening action they await from Kuznetsov, it hasn't impacted their relationships between one another ("But there's always an element of truth in what I say," yelled Zachery from another room Jeff was hitting on your gal, and I stopped him.") and from living their daily lives. Well done.
Take care and stay safe,
Ray
Comment Written 04-Jun-2018
reply by the author on 04-Jun-2018
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Thank you for the encouraging review.
Comment from apky
This chapter moved along well and the banter between the family and other characters came across as natural and to the point. Compared to some of the previous chapters, this one had more momentum and less discord. And the suspenseful end of it had the reader asking questions and guessing, eager to find out what happens next.
No spags that I could detect. The style is stronger and maturer. An excellent read.
reply by the author on 04-Jun-2018
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This chapter moved along well and the banter between the family and other characters came across as natural and to the point. Compared to some of the previous chapters, this one had more momentum and less discord. And the suspenseful end of it had the reader asking questions and guessing, eager to find out what happens next.
No spags that I could detect. The style is stronger and maturer. An excellent read.
Comment Written 03-Jun-2018
reply by the author on 04-Jun-2018
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Thank you for the kind review