Comment from Writingfundimension

Exceptional

Hi, Barbara

I think adding the perfect video was a good touch! I can't seem to figure out how to do that, though I've been told it's easy.

Drew is trying to work his magic on Shana, but that girl seems determined to do what her faith and her parents demand of her, at least for now.

Your pacing was excellent in this chapter with some pleasant surprises.

:) Bev

 Comment Written 22-Mar-2018

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reply by the author on 24-Mar-2018

Thank you for the encouraging review. It is NOT easy, I can promise you. I write months ahead, and then 'sleep on' on it until it feels right.
'

reply by Writingfundimension on 25-Mar-2018

Yes, I have a similar process, Barbara. I write when I've thought it through and feel ready to roll. :)

Comment from karenina

Excellent

I need to go back and catch up as this was intriguing....and besides, anything accompanied by Toby Keith is already climbing my charts as must reading!

Karenina

 Comment Written 22-Mar-2018

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reply by the author on 24-Mar-2018

Thank you. As I wrote this post, that song kept playing in my head.

reply by karenina on 24-Mar-2018

Any song of his is a hit with me!--Karenina

Comment from kiwigirl2821

Excellent

Hi Barbara ...

This is a great chapter. Your first paragraphs that lead into your next chapter help immensely to get caught up before the next one began. Also I love that you put a character summary at the end to continue to inform and make the read make perfect sense. I'm in the process of moving at the moment but, I will do my best to read this one. It sounds like a fantastic story line and the characters are splendid! Loved it.

xoxox deborah

 Comment Written 21-Mar-2018

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reply by the author on 24-Mar-2018

Good luck with moving and thank you for the kind review.

Comment from F Scott Hafner

Excellent

First read of your work. assumptions - really rich, helicopter, attending nurse, seems private pay at hospital. Your list of characters is really long - maybe I just don't read much. I would not be able to remember them all in context, who did what and who did that influence and why. Three big dogs? How are they different, how is that important to the story? Why is the flirtatious thing with the nurses important. Nurses are usually sweet an comforting - would it be reasonable to assume they believe a patron expects their romantic attention? If there is a hit out on you, you will not know until you are dead and nobody would suspect it was a hit ...

 Comment Written 21-Mar-2018

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reply by the author on 21-Mar-2018

All of you questions would be answered if you'd read from the beginning. LOL I can see your confusion. Thank you for reading.

reply by F Scott Hafner on 21-Mar-2018

I thought so -

Comment from Artasylum

Excellent

This flowed like silk... I definitely need to go back and aqua myself better with each characters story. Thanks so much for the fast read and easy flow. your D

 Comment Written 21-Mar-2018

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reply by the author on 21-Mar-2018

Thank you for the kind review.

Comment from mbroyles2

Exceptional

whether Anderson meant for it to be or not, it was their first kiss, although his motives weren't quite what they should have been.
I expected more of a response from Shana. Anger, shock, giddy, or something else. She seemed to take it all in stride which confused me a little.
You left us with a terrific hook and we know that danger still waits the couple.
Not mention Shana's father.
Michael

 Comment Written 20-Mar-2018

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reply by the author on 20-Mar-2018

My take Shana enjoyed it, but... she knew it shouldn't have happened. Thank you for the kind review.

Comment from Pamusart

Excellent

This was gripping and the characters are well developed. Too bad for Sarah. I am new here and have not seen all of the chapters. But, I seem to remember something about spying. Maybe that explains the hit. Thank you fir sharing

 Comment Written 20-Mar-2018

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reply by the author on 20-Mar-2018

Thank you for the kind review. There's a little Russian Mafia action going on.

Comment from Janilou

Excellent

Quite the cliff-hanger ending to this chapter. I am still not quite sure what is going on but this is such an advanced chapter, all I can do is read through and comment on the general appearance and any edits needed.
I didn't find any errors.

I do have a question about this line:

A nurse stepped from Intensive Care and motioned for Hannah. "Excuse me. I'm needed."

Was it Hannah who said "Excuse me. I'm needed." ?

If so, the dialogue should probably go down to the next line because as it stands it looked like the nurse was speaking the dialogue.

That's all I found.

All the best,
Jan

 Comment Written 19-Mar-2018

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reply by the author on 20-Mar-2018

I will check that area. Thank you for the catch.

Comment from rtobaygo

Exceptional

Good morning, Barbara

I enjoyed the post. I like how you balanced humor with the gravity of Sarah's condition and Kuznetsov's putting a hit out on Shana and Anderson. Just goes to show you life goes on. Well done.

Take care and stay safe,

Ray

 Comment Written 19-Mar-2018

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reply by the author on 19-Mar-2018

Thank you for the encouraging review.

Comment from Mustang Patty

Exceptional

Hi, Barbara;
So, Drew finally made a move. I can imagine he wanted to accomplish a bit more than just put those nurses in their place. It seems that story is picking up in pace now and with Sarah on the move, the little group will be split up.

Looking forward to more,

~patty~

 Comment Written 19-Mar-2018

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reply by the author on 19-Mar-2018

I hope the interest keeps going.