Perennials of War
Viewing comments for Chapter 9 "Chapter Three part drei"Is Anderson a gallant knight? Can he recover Shan
39 total reviews
Comment from Gert sherwood
Hi Barb,
So I decided to start reading chapter 12 of you new book which was written sometime in Jan 2917
Yes, I read your ending of your previous post
"Chapter Three part drei"
And now just read-
Chapter 3 part 3
Jane leaned over and put her arms around Shana. "It'll be all right, dear. ((Drew will get to the bottom of this." ))
Barb does this sound like Fragment (an incomplete thought/)
Now you have me intrigued (Barb) to meet the characters you mentioned in this chapter..
Looks like you have me hooked to keep reading the remainders of your novel
Gert
reply by the author on 13-Mar-2017
  |
Hi Barb,
So I decided to start reading chapter 12 of you new book which was written sometime in Jan 2917
Yes, I read your ending of your previous post
"Chapter Three part drei"
And now just read-
Chapter 3 part 3
Jane leaned over and put her arms around Shana. "It'll be all right, dear. ((Drew will get to the bottom of this." ))
Barb does this sound like Fragment (an incomplete thought/)
Now you have me intrigued (Barb) to meet the characters you mentioned in this chapter..
Looks like you have me hooked to keep reading the remainders of your novel
Gert
Comment Written 13-Mar-2017
reply by the author on 13-Mar-2017
-
I hope you enjoy. Yes, it is a fragment, but I figured in dialogue I could get by with it. We don't speak in complete sentences, at least I don't. I am so happy you've returned.
-
Smiles Barb
Yes I'm enjoying what I've read
Will see you again soon as I can
Gert
Comment from rtobaygo
Good afternoon, Barbara
My apology for not reading your earlier posts. I've been absent for close to four months so the become current I had to delete far too many posts.
Excellent dialogue as it pushes the story forward. Reading between the lines one sees each character's uniqueness and mindset. Well done!
Take care and stay safe,
Ray
reply by the author on 07-Jan-2017
 |
Good afternoon, Barbara
My apology for not reading your earlier posts. I've been absent for close to four months so the become current I had to delete far too many posts.
Excellent dialogue as it pushes the story forward. Reading between the lines one sees each character's uniqueness and mindset. Well done!
Take care and stay safe,
Ray
Comment Written 07-Jan-2017
reply by the author on 07-Jan-2017
-
I am glad you're back. Thank you for the kind review.
Comment from Roxanna Andrews
More and more mystery. Looking forward to reading more and finding out what the men are after. I do love a good mystery. =} Rox
reply by the author on 07-Jan-2017
|
More and more mystery. Looking forward to reading more and finding out what the men are after. I do love a good mystery. =} Rox
Comment Written 05-Jan-2017
reply by the author on 07-Jan-2017
-
Thank you for the encouraging review.
Comment from laffad
I like this a lot but I think I fail to understand what it is actually about. I hope you will continue to write chapters about it. Are you Jewish? I have a friend who is.
reply by the author on 07-Jan-2017
|
I like this a lot but I think I fail to understand what it is actually about. I hope you will continue to write chapters about it. Are you Jewish? I have a friend who is.
Comment Written 05-Jan-2017
reply by the author on 07-Jan-2017
-
Thank you for the kind review. I am not Jewish but I have many friends who are.
-
Still cool! Would you do me the honor of taking a look at my works as well?
-
yes.
Comment from mvbrooks
I'm glad you added the character list because otherwise you're limited the feedback as so many haven't started from chapter one.
This chapter is very intriguing and makes the reader want more -- which is a sign of strong writing.
It helps knowing the "players."
reply by the author on 07-Jan-2017
|
I'm glad you added the character list because otherwise you're limited the feedback as so many haven't started from chapter one.
This chapter is very intriguing and makes the reader want more -- which is a sign of strong writing.
It helps knowing the "players."
Comment Written 04-Jan-2017
reply by the author on 07-Jan-2017
-
Thank you for the kind review.
Comment from Tpa
A very good chapter that indeed keeps the reader in suspense, anticipating your next installment.
Also, appease the manner of incorporating previous summaries and your character list is very helpful in following the story.
CONGRATULATIONS on being one of last year's top authors-well deserved.
reply by the author on 07-Jan-2017
|
A very good chapter that indeed keeps the reader in suspense, anticipating your next installment.
Also, appease the manner of incorporating previous summaries and your character list is very helpful in following the story.
CONGRATULATIONS on being one of last year's top authors-well deserved.
Comment Written 04-Jan-2017
reply by the author on 07-Jan-2017
-
Thank you for the encouraging review.
Comment from Mastery
Your story of gets more intirguing with each chapter, Barbara. I cannot tell where this ism going yet, though.
Good imagery as usual, my friend.
Suggestion: "Quickly, they sat, waiting for Anderson to speak." (This sentenced is poor grammar, I'm afraid. also, the need for an adverb in the front odf a sentence is a no no, generally speaking. Try: " They took their seats and waited for Anderson sto speak."
Blessings, Barbara. Bob
reply by the author on 07-Jan-2017
|
Your story of gets more intirguing with each chapter, Barbara. I cannot tell where this ism going yet, though.
Good imagery as usual, my friend.
Suggestion: "Quickly, they sat, waiting for Anderson to speak." (This sentenced is poor grammar, I'm afraid. also, the need for an adverb in the front odf a sentence is a no no, generally speaking. Try: " They took their seats and waited for Anderson sto speak."
Blessings, Barbara. Bob
Comment Written 04-Jan-2017
reply by the author on 07-Jan-2017
-
Thank you for the encouraging review. I didn't like that sentence but kept having a brain fart and couldn't come up with a correction. I am not sure it still says exactly what I wanted it to say, but it's better. Thank you.
Comment from rama devi
Another fine installment. Drew me in. I am curious to see where this story goes.
Fine dialog, pacing and sentence mechanics.
A few nits and suggestions:
* He paused before he asked, "Do you have any idea what these people want?"
No need for speech tag or before there (my opinion). Suggest trim down to just an action tag:
He paused. "Do you have any idea what these people want?"
* So far(,) they just want to know where you are."
*
"I can't stay here. I'm putting all of you in danger(,) and besides(,) how does it look? You're a bachelor(,) and I'm single."
*
Shana looked down at Romeo(,) who had put his head in her lap(,) and then back at Anderson. "Why is this happening?"
Happy New Year!
Warmly, rd
reply by the author on 07-Jan-2017
|
Another fine installment. Drew me in. I am curious to see where this story goes.
Fine dialog, pacing and sentence mechanics.
A few nits and suggestions:
* He paused before he asked, "Do you have any idea what these people want?"
No need for speech tag or before there (my opinion). Suggest trim down to just an action tag:
He paused. "Do you have any idea what these people want?"
* So far(,) they just want to know where you are."
*
"I can't stay here. I'm putting all of you in danger(,) and besides(,) how does it look? You're a bachelor(,) and I'm single."
*
Shana looked down at Romeo(,) who had put his head in her lap(,) and then back at Anderson. "Why is this happening?"
Happy New Year!
Warmly, rd
Comment Written 03-Jan-2017
reply by the author on 07-Jan-2017
-
I wondered about commas in the last sentence. I decided to go with 'when in doubt, leave them out.' LOL Thank you again for the help.
-
:-)))
Comment from davisr (Rhonda)
A good chapter in your book.
Sarah has been forced to sit and wait until they find out whoever it is that's tracking her down. There must be something more than just a painting that's causing all this trouble.
Take care,
Rhonda
reply by the author on 07-Jan-2017
|
A good chapter in your book.
Sarah has been forced to sit and wait until they find out whoever it is that's tracking her down. There must be something more than just a painting that's causing all this trouble.
Take care,
Rhonda
Comment Written 03-Jan-2017
reply by the author on 07-Jan-2017
-
Thank you for the encouraging review.
Comment from Phyllis Stewart
I really wonder why they want her. She is the one who was robbed, not the other way around. Thankfully, Drew is helping, so I'll trust him for now. Too much suspense... What do those men want?
reply by the author on 07-Jan-2017
|
I really wonder why they want her. She is the one who was robbed, not the other way around. Thankfully, Drew is helping, so I'll trust him for now. Too much suspense... What do those men want?
Comment Written 03-Jan-2017
reply by the author on 07-Jan-2017
-
Thank you for the encouraging review. I am not sure what these men want. I am waiting for them to tell me. LOL