Willing Hearts
Viewing comments for Chapter 44 "Chapter 27 A Willing Hearts"Solve a crime and fall in love at the same time?
5 total reviews
Comment from Lana Marie
I've only read this part of your story so far and it kept my attention throughout the whole thing. I was able to picture each scene even though I came on it right now. It helped to read the description of all your characters so then I understood what the story is about.
I did notice a missing word In the sentence below. I put parentheses where it is missing.... (be)
"Mom, are you supposed to( ). standing?"
When I have a chance, I look forward to Reading more of your story as it is such an important subject. I'm on a road trip right now and even in those Rest stops along the highways, there are advertisements with phone numbers for people who are needing help to get out of being sex trafficked.
Keep on writing,
Lana
reply by the author on 17-Nov-2024
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I've only read this part of your story so far and it kept my attention throughout the whole thing. I was able to picture each scene even though I came on it right now. It helped to read the description of all your characters so then I understood what the story is about.
I did notice a missing word In the sentence below. I put parentheses where it is missing.... (be)
"Mom, are you supposed to( ). standing?"
When I have a chance, I look forward to Reading more of your story as it is such an important subject. I'm on a road trip right now and even in those Rest stops along the highways, there are advertisements with phone numbers for people who are needing help to get out of being sex trafficked.
Keep on writing,
Lana
Comment Written 17-Nov-2024
reply by the author on 17-Nov-2024
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Thank you for dropping by and leaving this kind review. I hope you return. I have fixed that area.
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You're welcome 😄
Comment from royowen
It only happened to me once, when I broke up with a girl, she gave me my marching orders, it really hurt, but one can't harass them, it was a good decision, I met Elaine, she did me a favour, a God thing. People like Marc are rare, but real, beautifully written Barbara, , blessings Roy
Typo: Mom, are you supposed to (be) standing.
reply by the author on 17-Nov-2024
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It only happened to me once, when I broke up with a girl, she gave me my marching orders, it really hurt, but one can't harass them, it was a good decision, I met Elaine, she did me a favour, a God thing. People like Marc are rare, but real, beautifully written Barbara, , blessings Roy
Typo: Mom, are you supposed to (be) standing.
Comment Written 17-Nov-2024
reply by the author on 17-Nov-2024
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Thank you for the catch. I have made the correction. I appreciate you.
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Pleasure
Comment from Rick Gardner
Very good, the characters show their real selves quickly. Love and danger hidden in this passage. Reminds me of an old song by Elton John, tracts for the same movie "Friends", some words from the movie apply to your story, It's funny how young lovers start as friends, happened to me, have a friend and lover for 45 years now. I think she still loves me. The movie still available, may help your story line.
reply by the author on 17-Nov-2024
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Very good, the characters show their real selves quickly. Love and danger hidden in this passage. Reminds me of an old song by Elton John, tracts for the same movie "Friends", some words from the movie apply to your story, It's funny how young lovers start as friends, happened to me, have a friend and lover for 45 years now. I think she still loves me. The movie still available, may help your story line.
Comment Written 17-Nov-2024
reply by the author on 17-Nov-2024
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I'm sure she does love you. Thank you for dropping by and leaving this kind review.
Comment from estory
in this chapter you paint the contrasting pictures of Marc and Noah and they are the symbols of the dreaded controlling figure and the perfect, deffering man. Noah even asks her father for permission to marry Sami. Meanwhile, Marc speaks for her, thrusts the flowers in her hand, even though she is allergic to them. They seem a bit too much like caricatures to me, but they do serve your purpose here as symbols. Fleshing out characters and making them three dimensional is hard, and I am struggling to perfect this myself. There are a lot of symbolist characters in my novel. But the dialogue is crisp, as always, and there is that tension you injected at the end when Sami walks in as her mother mentions Noah has made it clear to her parents, and not to her, that he wants to propose. I can hear the protest and see the temper tantrum to come. estory
reply by the author on 17-Nov-2024
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in this chapter you paint the contrasting pictures of Marc and Noah and they are the symbols of the dreaded controlling figure and the perfect, deffering man. Noah even asks her father for permission to marry Sami. Meanwhile, Marc speaks for her, thrusts the flowers in her hand, even though she is allergic to them. They seem a bit too much like caricatures to me, but they do serve your purpose here as symbols. Fleshing out characters and making them three dimensional is hard, and I am struggling to perfect this myself. There are a lot of symbolist characters in my novel. But the dialogue is crisp, as always, and there is that tension you injected at the end when Sami walks in as her mother mentions Noah has made it clear to her parents, and not to her, that he wants to propose. I can hear the protest and see the temper tantrum to come. estory
Comment Written 17-Nov-2024
reply by the author on 17-Nov-2024
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Thank you for the kind review.
Comment from nomi338
Thank you for introducing Marc. What a total jerk, guys kike Marc make decent guys like Noah all the more rare and precious. I have no doubt or fear that Noah will deliver a message to Marc that should come across loud and clear, Stay the heck away or else!
reply by the author on 17-Nov-2024
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Thank you for introducing Marc. What a total jerk, guys kike Marc make decent guys like Noah all the more rare and precious. I have no doubt or fear that Noah will deliver a message to Marc that should come across loud and clear, Stay the heck away or else!
Comment Written 17-Nov-2024
reply by the author on 17-Nov-2024
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Noah won't allow him to bother Sami, at all. He's already proven his protection of her. Thank you for the kind review.