The Incomparable Fanny Barnwarmer
Viewing comments for Chapter 11 "Incomparable Fanny Barnwarmer 11"America's First Female Comic
30 total reviews
Comment from Liz O'Neill
If you could see the excitement on my face when I realize who I'm about to enjoy, it would do your heart good. This is a great sensory image: "and a hundred heads turned to hear the scrape of chairs and to watch the defendants scramble to their feet." & "And as all the air is sucked out of the lungs of a pugilist after a blow to the solar plexus," & the metaphor that follows.
I'm going to just read the rest. Oh boy...what a place to leave the reader...we'll be back
reply by the author on 11-Jun-2022
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If you could see the excitement on my face when I realize who I'm about to enjoy, it would do your heart good. This is a great sensory image: "and a hundred heads turned to hear the scrape of chairs and to watch the defendants scramble to their feet." & "And as all the air is sucked out of the lungs of a pugilist after a blow to the solar plexus," & the metaphor that follows.
I'm going to just read the rest. Oh boy...what a place to leave the reader...we'll be back
Comment Written 11-Jun-2022
reply by the author on 11-Jun-2022
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Hahaha! It's for people like you I write. Thank you so much for responding just as I hoped you would, Liz!
Comment from Giddy Nielsen-Sweep
Hi Jay, you should have been a playwright. This is quite long but I wish I had been in at the beginning of this play because she sounds like a remarkable lady.
I want to thank you Jay for all your friendship over the years. I won't be back to fan story because my MS has progressed to the very last stage and I am having too much difficulty so my very best wishes to you, Giddy
reply by the author on 10-Jun-2022
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Hi Jay, you should have been a playwright. This is quite long but I wish I had been in at the beginning of this play because she sounds like a remarkable lady.
I want to thank you Jay for all your friendship over the years. I won't be back to fan story because my MS has progressed to the very last stage and I am having too much difficulty so my very best wishes to you, Giddy
Comment Written 10-Jun-2022
reply by the author on 10-Jun-2022
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Oh, Giddy, you are so kind and so sweet ... and your vacancy will cast a long shadow over FanStory. I am so sorry to see you go, but I will hold a soft spot in my heart for you. Blessings. Jay
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Smiles,Jay
Comment from Anne-Marie brison
Dear Jay Squires,
Thank you so much for the opportunity to read this!! I enjoyed it. May God bless you and your family!!!
reply by the author on 08-Jun-2022
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Dear Jay Squires,
Thank you so much for the opportunity to read this!! I enjoyed it. May God bless you and your family!!!
Comment Written 08-Jun-2022
reply by the author on 08-Jun-2022
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Thank you for reading, Ann-Marie.
Comment from dellsworthpoet
A somewhat tangled tale, but handled well. The dialogue is believable sprinkled with dialect as it is. The images are clear. The piece stays on point.
Thanks for a good read.
reply by the author on 08-Jun-2022
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A somewhat tangled tale, but handled well. The dialogue is believable sprinkled with dialect as it is. The images are clear. The piece stays on point.
Thanks for a good read.
Comment Written 08-Jun-2022
reply by the author on 08-Jun-2022
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Thank you for weighing in. Your response is appreciated.
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You are welcome.
Comment from Fleedleflump
I don't mind admitting I have to read these chapters slowly to make sure I'm absorbing them, but I'm happy to do that :-). I like that we alternate in this one between the plausible legal language being recited and the dialect dialogue of Fanny. Each serves as a respite from the style of the other. Great writing, my friend.
Mike
reply by the author on 08-Jun-2022
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I don't mind admitting I have to read these chapters slowly to make sure I'm absorbing them, but I'm happy to do that :-). I like that we alternate in this one between the plausible legal language being recited and the dialect dialogue of Fanny. Each serves as a respite from the style of the other. Great writing, my friend.
Mike
Comment Written 08-Jun-2022
reply by the author on 08-Jun-2022
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Many thanks, Mike. You'll be happy to know (or not ...) that yours is the one to pop me over to ATB. It sure made me happy! Yes, I developed the device of the Chicago newsman solely to get away from that horrid dialect. Again, Mike, thanks for reading!
Jay
Comment from lancellot
With the reporter reading, this feels like a story told within a scripted conversation.
I read your notes too. You know this script or primarily conversation between two people has been going for some time. Something you may want to consider, outside FanStory friends, is, no matter how well written, how long can people listen to other people talk.
reply by the author on 08-Jun-2022
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With the reporter reading, this feels like a story told within a scripted conversation.
I read your notes too. You know this script or primarily conversation between two people has been going for some time. Something you may want to consider, outside FanStory friends, is, no matter how well written, how long can people listen to other people talk.
Comment Written 08-Jun-2022
reply by the author on 08-Jun-2022
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Gotcha, my friend! I understand. And I know you're being as kind as you can. Thank you, though, for weighing in. I got this by the big tail and it's shaking me right and left. I refuse to let go until the animal dies or falls asleep. Thanks, again.
Comment from Whitewave
Jay,
Although I have not read previous parts of this book, I enjoyed reading this chapter. You demonstrate clever use of language and descriptive detail. I could imagine being there as a witness to the interview and even the court case.
reply by the author on 08-Jun-2022
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Jay,
Although I have not read previous parts of this book, I enjoyed reading this chapter. You demonstrate clever use of language and descriptive detail. I could imagine being there as a witness to the interview and even the court case.
Comment Written 08-Jun-2022
reply by the author on 08-Jun-2022
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Bless you, Whitewave. It means a lot to me to have you read my play and know that it connected with you. I hope to have you back next time.
Jay
Comment from LJbutterfly
This scene was well worth the wait, even though I couldn't get to it until today. I especially enjoyed reading the account of the court proceedings printed in the Chicago Times. Each scene sheds brand new light with a twist on the story. What you've created here is fiction based on painful, real life, historical occurrences. I can't begin to imagine where you might take this. I can only wait. See you in the next scene.
reply by the author on 07-Jun-2022
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This scene was well worth the wait, even though I couldn't get to it until today. I especially enjoyed reading the account of the court proceedings printed in the Chicago Times. Each scene sheds brand new light with a twist on the story. What you've created here is fiction based on painful, real life, historical occurrences. I can't begin to imagine where you might take this. I can only wait. See you in the next scene.
Comment Written 07-Jun-2022
reply by the author on 07-Jun-2022
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Ah, Lorraine, it's so good that you stopped by with your kindness and the shiny six stars. It's been so hard to get eyes to it this week. To get two a day, yesterday and today, is cause for celebration. Then along you come, dripping honey. Thank you, thank you, thank you!
Comment from nomi338
Lynching is such a horrible crime. There are cases in the Bible where victim were not hung by the neck via a rope, but the spirit of lynching was still carried out. In a sense, Jesus' execution was a symbolic lynching, the death of Stephen was another. The guilty will ultimately pay. Saul of Tarsus, the instigator of some of these lynchings, spent the rest of his life after being converted, tried to make up for his participation.
reply by the author on 06-Jun-2022
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Lynching is such a horrible crime. There are cases in the Bible where victim were not hung by the neck via a rope, but the spirit of lynching was still carried out. In a sense, Jesus' execution was a symbolic lynching, the death of Stephen was another. The guilty will ultimately pay. Saul of Tarsus, the instigator of some of these lynchings, spent the rest of his life after being converted, tried to make up for his participation.
Comment Written 06-Jun-2022
reply by the author on 06-Jun-2022
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Nolan, you attendance here means so very much to me. You are able to take an aspect of the scene and extrapolate its significance in other spheres. That's when I know a scene has touched a reader. Thank you so much!
Comment from Father Flaps
Hi Jay,
Do you suppose the judge himself, Judge Jonathan Weitherton, was a member of the Ku Klux Klan? How many of the local police department were also members of the KKK? What about the District Attorney? What about the lawyer for the defense? Poor old Mr. Barnwarmer had to stand there and take a grand lecture from a crooked judge because nobody could prove (or even TRY to prove) that the defendants were indeed the men who lynched Mr. Albright... as the guilty party were all wearing hoods!
Did the police search the defendants' homes for evidence? Surely white robes and hoods were hidden away someplace in their homes. But even then, that would only show that they were KKK members, not necessarily the defendants accused of the crime.
But, Mr. Albright was hanged. He was dead, murdered right in front of his family. And poor old Mr. Barnwarmer had an important role in the murder. His guilt must have been such an overwhelming burden to carry. And I'm sure the KKK members present must have been chuckling to themselves.
I'll go even further. The Ku Klux Klan were (are) America's Nazi regime. It's all about hatred. In my humble opinion, white supremacists of today are nothing but cowards. The Ku Klux Klan wore hoods because they were breaking the law... and because they were cowards. They will answer for the crimes one day, and that day is called Judgement Day!
My favorite lines,
"The Honorable Judge Jonathan Weitherton then cast his eyes down from Olympus to his earthly subjects in the packed courtroom and let them fall first on the widow of the slain Thomas Albright, who was gazing up with hopeful eyes set deep in ebony sockets."
and,
"And as all the air is sucked out of the lungs of a pugilist after a blow to the solar plexus, just so was the air sucked out of that courtroom for the instant it takes until the lungs of realization begin again to fill, and a spontaneous outcry to erupt--an outcry that will continue to echo for generations.
TRAVESTY! TRAVESTY!"
and,
"looking over his steepled fingers"
Bottom line!
"The sword of justice only falls upon the head of the guilty when the scales held by 'Mistress Justice' are weighted down by evidence."
...and there was no evidence against the defendants. So once again, Lady Justice prevails. And she's wearing a blindfold!
Nicely penned, Jay! As usual.
Cheers,
Kimbob
reply by the author on 06-Jun-2022
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Hi Jay,
Do you suppose the judge himself, Judge Jonathan Weitherton, was a member of the Ku Klux Klan? How many of the local police department were also members of the KKK? What about the District Attorney? What about the lawyer for the defense? Poor old Mr. Barnwarmer had to stand there and take a grand lecture from a crooked judge because nobody could prove (or even TRY to prove) that the defendants were indeed the men who lynched Mr. Albright... as the guilty party were all wearing hoods!
Did the police search the defendants' homes for evidence? Surely white robes and hoods were hidden away someplace in their homes. But even then, that would only show that they were KKK members, not necessarily the defendants accused of the crime.
But, Mr. Albright was hanged. He was dead, murdered right in front of his family. And poor old Mr. Barnwarmer had an important role in the murder. His guilt must have been such an overwhelming burden to carry. And I'm sure the KKK members present must have been chuckling to themselves.
I'll go even further. The Ku Klux Klan were (are) America's Nazi regime. It's all about hatred. In my humble opinion, white supremacists of today are nothing but cowards. The Ku Klux Klan wore hoods because they were breaking the law... and because they were cowards. They will answer for the crimes one day, and that day is called Judgement Day!
My favorite lines,
"The Honorable Judge Jonathan Weitherton then cast his eyes down from Olympus to his earthly subjects in the packed courtroom and let them fall first on the widow of the slain Thomas Albright, who was gazing up with hopeful eyes set deep in ebony sockets."
and,
"And as all the air is sucked out of the lungs of a pugilist after a blow to the solar plexus, just so was the air sucked out of that courtroom for the instant it takes until the lungs of realization begin again to fill, and a spontaneous outcry to erupt--an outcry that will continue to echo for generations.
TRAVESTY! TRAVESTY!"
and,
"looking over his steepled fingers"
Bottom line!
"The sword of justice only falls upon the head of the guilty when the scales held by 'Mistress Justice' are weighted down by evidence."
...and there was no evidence against the defendants. So once again, Lady Justice prevails. And she's wearing a blindfold!
Nicely penned, Jay! As usual.
Cheers,
Kimbob
Comment Written 06-Jun-2022
reply by the author on 06-Jun-2022
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Oh, Man, Kimbob! Thank you for your support throughout this play (as well as my other plays ... as well as anything else I've written, for that matter)! You have been the one that makes me check my reserve tank to see if I have enough gas to finish the race. I'm thrilled at how much you take away from this play.
Jay
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Always my sincere pleasure, Jay. You're a terrific writer! Keep going... the Finish Line is in sight!