The Incomparable Fanny Barnwarmer
Viewing comments for Chapter 10 "Incomparable Fanny Barnwarmer 10"America's First Female Comic
28 total reviews
Comment from giraffmang
Hi Jay, apologies for the lateness in this review. Life's decided it wants some attention. Selfish bugger!
Then seein' as them reporter's heads be turned down- should it be reporters' heads given that it's referring to more than one of them?
When referring to the judge, sometimes th' is used before it and others the. Might want to look at that for consistency.
I ask thet th' defendants approach th' bench." / he sends th' defend-ents back to theys chairs.- the difference in defendants presentation here. It may be down to Fanny impersonating the judge's speech patterns but thought I'd mention it.
Quite some revelations in this entry. Great stuff. I'm off for the net instalment which you'll probably read my review of first...
G
reply by the author on 05-Jun-2022
  |
Hi Jay, apologies for the lateness in this review. Life's decided it wants some attention. Selfish bugger!
Then seein' as them reporter's heads be turned down- should it be reporters' heads given that it's referring to more than one of them?
When referring to the judge, sometimes th' is used before it and others the. Might want to look at that for consistency.
I ask thet th' defendants approach th' bench." / he sends th' defend-ents back to theys chairs.- the difference in defendants presentation here. It may be down to Fanny impersonating the judge's speech patterns but thought I'd mention it.
Quite some revelations in this entry. Great stuff. I'm off for the net instalment which you'll probably read my review of first...
G
Comment Written 05-Jun-2022
reply by the author on 05-Jun-2022
-
Thank you, G. I really appreciate your close scrutiny to the dialect. Ninety-nine percent of the time, it's my negligence. That one percent allows for inconsistency depending on the vowel of the word following the offensive one. If "the" replaces "th'" it might be because of the hard consonant following it. Usually, though, it's a screw up. LOL, thanks, though, for being on top of it.
Comment from leather
I think you have an interesting plot and background.
There is one thing that seems very incongruent with the times (1929) and that is the conversational use of the word 'Jesus'. Such a remark at the time would nearly always be considered blasphemy or profanity and perhaps worse if overheard by women.
My uncles were all born in the 1920s. They were mill workers and loved to hunt. My grandfather, born in the 1890s, was also a mill worker and hunter. Never did they let the word 'Jesus' leave their lips unless it was in prayer.
What they said among themselves, I can't say.
I guess I don't have to tell you that I am over 75.
This may be a small thing, but it make me do a double-take when I came across it.
Best wishes
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
reply by the author on 28-May-2022
 |
I think you have an interesting plot and background.
There is one thing that seems very incongruent with the times (1929) and that is the conversational use of the word 'Jesus'. Such a remark at the time would nearly always be considered blasphemy or profanity and perhaps worse if overheard by women.
My uncles were all born in the 1920s. They were mill workers and loved to hunt. My grandfather, born in the 1890s, was also a mill worker and hunter. Never did they let the word 'Jesus' leave their lips unless it was in prayer.
What they said among themselves, I can't say.
I guess I don't have to tell you that I am over 75.
This may be a small thing, but it make me do a double-take when I came across it.
Best wishes
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 28-May-2022
reply by the author on 28-May-2022
-
That's an excellent observation, Leather. And I, too, remember the blasphemy of the word, as well. Thank you for the reminder.
Jay
-
You are quite welcome.
Comment from Mark Childs
Well written. Love Fanny's broken speech and wisdom. Look forward to seeing where this goes. Keep up the good work. I assume you will be posted another act?
reply by the author on 25-May-2022
|
Well written. Love Fanny's broken speech and wisdom. Look forward to seeing where this goes. Keep up the good work. I assume you will be posted another act?
Comment Written 25-May-2022
reply by the author on 25-May-2022
-
Thank you so much, Mark. There will be about 3 more scenes. I'll be pleased as punch to have you aboard.
Comment from judiverse
Very powerful, but what we had learned about the judge previously, it's not surprising that he wouldn't allow Mr. Barnwarmer's testimony. Yes, this is a bigger story than what the NYT reporter had set out to cover, but the trial and the racist implications are really important. We'll see how that goes with Fanny when the action continues. She has proven she's a very shrewd woman and has always been. judi
reply by the author on 25-May-2022
|
Very powerful, but what we had learned about the judge previously, it's not surprising that he wouldn't allow Mr. Barnwarmer's testimony. Yes, this is a bigger story than what the NYT reporter had set out to cover, but the trial and the racist implications are really important. We'll see how that goes with Fanny when the action continues. She has proven she's a very shrewd woman and has always been. judi
Comment Written 25-May-2022
reply by the author on 25-May-2022
-
Thank you, Judi. I'm thrilled to have you reading this. The next two scenes will be easier to read without relying on Fanny's dialect to further the plot. I think you'll like them.
-
Fanny is certainly a memorable character. I'll be interested to see what the reporter decides to do with the story. judi
Comment from Judy Lawless
Wow, very dramatic scene, Jay! Excellently written, keeping me on the edge, expecting the story may be coming to an end, but apparently not yet. I was surprised by the reporter's final comment.
reply by the author on 25-May-2022
 |
Wow, very dramatic scene, Jay! Excellently written, keeping me on the edge, expecting the story may be coming to an end, but apparently not yet. I was surprised by the reporter's final comment.
Comment Written 25-May-2022
reply by the author on 25-May-2022
-
You have a six this late in the week? Whoa. Thanks for giving it to me, Judy. For the next two scenes, I've found a way to further the plot (getting through the trial) without trudging through Fanny's dialect. I hope you'll try them out! Bless you, Judy!
-
I was without power or internet for three days, Jay, so I had all my sixes left by the time I got back to reviewing. Lol This deserved one. You?re welcome.
Comment from the13thpoet
Hello Jay a good day to you. I hope this finds you well. I enjoyed the continuation of the story, the reporter has to be bummed if he thinks no one is going to believe her story, however Miss Fanny is always entertaining to listen to. Can't wait to see what Fanny will say to that.
reply by the author on 25-May-2022
|
Hello Jay a good day to you. I hope this finds you well. I enjoyed the continuation of the story, the reporter has to be bummed if he thinks no one is going to believe her story, however Miss Fanny is always entertaining to listen to. Can't wait to see what Fanny will say to that.
Comment Written 25-May-2022
reply by the author on 25-May-2022
-
Thank you, my friend, and a tip o' the hat to ya. Rest assured, Fanny's story will be told, albeit in a slightly modified voice. I hope to see you there.
Comment from Father Flaps
Hi Jay,
It always gives me great pleasure to offer you a sixer.
A huge surprise with this scene in the events of the trial.
The most recognized symbol of justice today is the statue of Themis, from Ancient Greece. She is also known as "the Lady of Good Counsel", a blindfolded woman with a sword in her right hand and a set of scales in her left hand. Themis actually means "divine law". The scales of justice demonstrate a balanced outlook, not only in theory but also practicality. They personify fairness. The blindfold represents impartiality. Justice should be applied without any bias. And especially, no prejudice! The sword signifies power and authority, conveying the idea that justice can be swift and final.
The Roman goddess of justice was Justitia. Like Themis, she holds a sword and a set of scales. And she wears the blindfold as well. Several statues of Justitia were sculpted in North America during the 19th and 20th centuries.
It was so correct for Lizabeths' attorney to omit the "Honorable", and just emphasize "Judge Jonathan Weitherton". How wrong to call Flourney and his mob to approach the bench!
"... they gets up an' stan' afore th' jedge, who gets all secret-like with 'em so's no one c'n hear. Flourney did most o' the talkin' an' head-shakin'."
That Judge was only carrying a sword. He wasn't wearing a blindfold. His eyes were wide open! And he left the scales of justice in his chambers. Someone should have walked up to that group, grabbed the gavel, and slammed it down hard! And then yelled: "OBJECTION!!!" But nobody could believe what was happening.
I was even more shocked, though, when I read on to where the reporter says,
"I find I won't be able to write this second story at all."
But the story HAS to get out. The truth MUST be told. How many judges out there, across the good old USA, are only carrying swords? No blindfolds! No set of scales! How many Mr. Barnwarmers are going to have their testimonies denied as if they mean nothing in the outcome of a case? How many Junipers are going to serve time in prisons? How many marauding bullies are going to be free to walk the streets of towns and cities all across the United States, some wielding automatic weapons? ... (and what about the hatred that continues to fester in the United States, and even around the globe? The tentacles of white supremacy reach from Canada to Australia, and the United States to Ukraine. What will the government do to shut down these backyard terrorists?)
I like Fanny's short quips,
"But thet ain't gonna stop ya ...."
and,
"Get on with it."
The interview is overshadowed by the fact that the reporter has limited time. He's got a train to catch! He can't leave without "the rest of the story"!
Nicely penned, Jay! Terrific job!
Cheers,
Kimbob
reply by the author on 24-May-2022
|
Hi Jay,
It always gives me great pleasure to offer you a sixer.
A huge surprise with this scene in the events of the trial.
The most recognized symbol of justice today is the statue of Themis, from Ancient Greece. She is also known as "the Lady of Good Counsel", a blindfolded woman with a sword in her right hand and a set of scales in her left hand. Themis actually means "divine law". The scales of justice demonstrate a balanced outlook, not only in theory but also practicality. They personify fairness. The blindfold represents impartiality. Justice should be applied without any bias. And especially, no prejudice! The sword signifies power and authority, conveying the idea that justice can be swift and final.
The Roman goddess of justice was Justitia. Like Themis, she holds a sword and a set of scales. And she wears the blindfold as well. Several statues of Justitia were sculpted in North America during the 19th and 20th centuries.
It was so correct for Lizabeths' attorney to omit the "Honorable", and just emphasize "Judge Jonathan Weitherton". How wrong to call Flourney and his mob to approach the bench!
"... they gets up an' stan' afore th' jedge, who gets all secret-like with 'em so's no one c'n hear. Flourney did most o' the talkin' an' head-shakin'."
That Judge was only carrying a sword. He wasn't wearing a blindfold. His eyes were wide open! And he left the scales of justice in his chambers. Someone should have walked up to that group, grabbed the gavel, and slammed it down hard! And then yelled: "OBJECTION!!!" But nobody could believe what was happening.
I was even more shocked, though, when I read on to where the reporter says,
"I find I won't be able to write this second story at all."
But the story HAS to get out. The truth MUST be told. How many judges out there, across the good old USA, are only carrying swords? No blindfolds! No set of scales! How many Mr. Barnwarmers are going to have their testimonies denied as if they mean nothing in the outcome of a case? How many Junipers are going to serve time in prisons? How many marauding bullies are going to be free to walk the streets of towns and cities all across the United States, some wielding automatic weapons? ... (and what about the hatred that continues to fester in the United States, and even around the globe? The tentacles of white supremacy reach from Canada to Australia, and the United States to Ukraine. What will the government do to shut down these backyard terrorists?)
I like Fanny's short quips,
"But thet ain't gonna stop ya ...."
and,
"Get on with it."
The interview is overshadowed by the fact that the reporter has limited time. He's got a train to catch! He can't leave without "the rest of the story"!
Nicely penned, Jay! Terrific job!
Cheers,
Kimbob
Comment Written 24-May-2022
reply by the author on 24-May-2022
-
And it's always such an honor to give you a recommendation for Reviewer of the month. Only problem ... I've already given you one this month. So I'll keep heaping praise on top of praise for always taking your reviews to another level. I'm empowered just to have you read and weigh in on my posts. It's because of you that I keep plugging away toward bringing this play to a satisfying close, Kimbob! Thank you for that!
Comment from Fleedleflump
You write with an assured hand. It's good to read a script where everything from actions to dialogue is clear. Love the dialect spelling for Fanny's words - this English guy from South London could just about keep up, and the accent came across clear as day.
Excellent writing.
Mike
reply by the author on 24-May-2022
|
You write with an assured hand. It's good to read a script where everything from actions to dialogue is clear. Love the dialect spelling for Fanny's words - this English guy from South London could just about keep up, and the accent came across clear as day.
Excellent writing.
Mike
Comment Written 24-May-2022
reply by the author on 24-May-2022
-
Hey, Mike, so good to have you drop by and weigh in on my play. What a nice compliment, Sir. I hope you swing by for the next scene where the reader will have less reliance on getting info through Fanny's dialect.
Comment from dmt1967
This is another great scene and it had me at the edge of my seat. I still have trouble with the dialect lol but I was never any good at that. Thank you for sharing and have a great week.
reply by the author on 24-May-2022
|
This is another great scene and it had me at the edge of my seat. I still have trouble with the dialect lol but I was never any good at that. Thank you for sharing and have a great week.
Comment Written 24-May-2022
reply by the author on 24-May-2022
-
The dialect can cause some problems to someone not used to hearing it. I'm so pleased, though, that you stopped by anyway. Your presence means a lot to me.
Comment from Carol Hillebrenner
This is really well-written and a little easier to read Miss Fanny's dialect than the last chapter. It seems impossible to believe there was such a miscarriage of justice, but I'm sure there was with the attitudes of that time, although fair-minded people must have questioned the decision.
reply by the author on 23-May-2022
|
This is really well-written and a little easier to read Miss Fanny's dialect than the last chapter. It seems impossible to believe there was such a miscarriage of justice, but I'm sure there was with the attitudes of that time, although fair-minded people must have questioned the decision.
Comment Written 23-May-2022
reply by the author on 23-May-2022
-
As you will discover, enough of a stink was raised by the newspapers covering the trial that it had an overwhelming effect on the guilty and the innocent. Of course, this is fictionalized. Thank you for reading, Carol. Your loyalty to this play means a lot to me, especially given the lackluster response this scene has gotten.