The Incomparable Fanny Barnwarmer
Viewing comments for Chapter 7 "Incomparable Fanny Barnwarmer #7"America's First Female Comic
35 total reviews
Comment from Bill Schott
Our reporter has got ahold of something that he wants to know more about, and it makes this a bit more mysterious as we go along. ...............................................
reply by the author on 11-Oct-2022
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Our reporter has got ahold of something that he wants to know more about, and it makes this a bit more mysterious as we go along. ...............................................
Comment Written 11-Oct-2022
reply by the author on 11-Oct-2022
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Yes, I liked doing the Reporter character. He's persistent while being sensitive of Fanny.
Comment from giraffmang
Hi Jay,
good stuff here. I liked the going back to the notes which adds a real authenticity to the piece.
You have some errant code in your description line.
his depity went out front so's we could talk.- not sure if this is typo or not depity/deputy.
All the best
G
reply by the author on 05-May-2022
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Hi Jay,
good stuff here. I liked the going back to the notes which adds a real authenticity to the piece.
You have some errant code in your description line.
his depity went out front so's we could talk.- not sure if this is typo or not depity/deputy.
All the best
G
Comment Written 04-May-2022
reply by the author on 05-May-2022
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Oh, I see what's happened here, G. This is for the previous scene. "Depity" is intended. To me Fanny would sound stuffy pronouncing the long "u" in "deputy". But as with the other scene ... I'm so happy you picked it out. I need to have someone keep me honest.
Comment from judiverse
Strong characterizations in this. I'm so behind with reviewing, I'm sorry I'm getting to this so late. You certainly have plenty of support already. You really make a two-character play work. I saw it done with Julie Harris's portrayal of Emily Dickinson. She was able to keep the audience enthralled in her one-one show, just as you have done with your play. Fanny's memory and endurance are amazing. The Reporter comes off at times like an attorney badgering the witness. Fanny can take it, though. Going back over those tragic times of the past must be difficult for her to go through. Great work. judi
reply by the author on 28-Apr-2022
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Strong characterizations in this. I'm so behind with reviewing, I'm sorry I'm getting to this so late. You certainly have plenty of support already. You really make a two-character play work. I saw it done with Julie Harris's portrayal of Emily Dickinson. She was able to keep the audience enthralled in her one-one show, just as you have done with your play. Fanny's memory and endurance are amazing. The Reporter comes off at times like an attorney badgering the witness. Fanny can take it, though. Going back over those tragic times of the past must be difficult for her to go through. Great work. judi
Comment Written 28-Apr-2022
reply by the author on 28-Apr-2022
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Oh, Judi, it's so good to have you stop by. This scene must have been a mouthful to jump into without the structure of what went before. Nonetheless, I welcome you and hope you catch the remaining scenes.
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You're welcome. As I've mentioned, I'm having difficulty keeping up with reviews in my message box. This one has been a great success for you. judi
Comment from RGstar
Well done Jay. I was in too minds whether or not the reporter had become the conscience f the reader, or delving a little two much, thereby giving suggestions to lead the Miss Fanny to the answers required for the reader to hear, instead of it coming, first hand, from Miss Fanny herself. Yet, as it went on, and indeed, the chapters, I have come to see the importance of the reporter , complimenting each other perfectly. Yet, balance, where I think, perhaps, a little more of the answers coming by the way of conversation, from Miss Fanny, rather than be 'dectectived' out of her by the reporter. Yet, I guess he is doing his job.
Among all is the brilliance of the piece, an excellent work in progress from a master storyteller, and a master writer.
A well worked and masterfully executed literature.
My best.
RG
reply by the author on 27-Apr-2022
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Well done Jay. I was in too minds whether or not the reporter had become the conscience f the reader, or delving a little two much, thereby giving suggestions to lead the Miss Fanny to the answers required for the reader to hear, instead of it coming, first hand, from Miss Fanny herself. Yet, as it went on, and indeed, the chapters, I have come to see the importance of the reporter , complimenting each other perfectly. Yet, balance, where I think, perhaps, a little more of the answers coming by the way of conversation, from Miss Fanny, rather than be 'dectectived' out of her by the reporter. Yet, I guess he is doing his job.
Among all is the brilliance of the piece, an excellent work in progress from a master storyteller, and a master writer.
A well worked and masterfully executed literature.
My best.
RG
Comment Written 27-Apr-2022
reply by the author on 27-Apr-2022
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It is admittedly a thin line between having the reporter as a convenience to the writer and a viable character in the play. In defense of the latter, he has grown from being a starstruck fanboy where he insisted on calling her Miss Barnwarmer in the first two scenes, to rather a bulldog in this and the next scene, not letting Fanny turn a blind eye to the past but prodding her to keep her eye on the truth. I do try to keep the reporter's persona tuned to the readers' need for certain undisclosed information. I've had readers tell me they were confused about some aspect of Fanny's story only to find the reporter saying, "I don't understand something in what you said, Miss Fanny." If overdone it will appear "staged". I generally pick up on it first and make the changes before I post. Like you so aptly said, though, it's all in the balance.
Thank you RG for the 6 stars. It's not necessary. Your sage commentary is worth more than a high rating to me.
Jay
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Ahh, I just meant if the reporter was seen to be the one giving the audience the info, it could seem anticlimatic, easy ...so balance is key...more Fanny giving the answers, though like you said, the reporter growing in stature, but should not become the conscience of the reader,for that would mean taking the focus away from the remarkable Fanny. Brillant work Jay.
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Thank you for your clarification. You have been and you are this writer's conscience for this play.
Jay
Comment from Ulla
Hi Jay, I am fascinated by this play and it's theme. I love the way Fanny is speaking and I have no difficulty in understanding her. I feel the tension between the two while they both dance around the story as if it were a game albeit a serious one where there can be only one winner. As it is the reporter is certainly not one for giving up. Now on to the final day.
This is such great writing. Ulla:)))
reply by the author on 27-Apr-2022
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Hi Jay, I am fascinated by this play and it's theme. I love the way Fanny is speaking and I have no difficulty in understanding her. I feel the tension between the two while they both dance around the story as if it were a game albeit a serious one where there can be only one winner. As it is the reporter is certainly not one for giving up. Now on to the final day.
This is such great writing. Ulla:)))
Comment Written 27-Apr-2022
reply by the author on 27-Apr-2022
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You do my heart good, Ulla. You have no difficulty understanding Fanny ... Yay!! And you've caught the tension between the two. That's important. And the "cherry" six on top! Thank you so much, Ulla!
Comment from nomi338
You, once again did a very fine job of placing your reader right there front and center of the entire scene. I felt all the tension, the angst of the two characters as they dealt with the warring emotions both were fighting to control. A writer who can make his readers feel what he is writing, is a writer worthy of praise. Good job.
reply by the author on 27-Apr-2022
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You, once again did a very fine job of placing your reader right there front and center of the entire scene. I felt all the tension, the angst of the two characters as they dealt with the warring emotions both were fighting to control. A writer who can make his readers feel what he is writing, is a writer worthy of praise. Good job.
Comment Written 27-Apr-2022
reply by the author on 27-Apr-2022
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Thank you so much, Nolan! You've dealt me some fine compliments I hope I can continue to live up to. I always look forward to having you visit my plays.
Comment from lancellot
Well, I guess there is one more scene left to this story. More things to say and be reveled I guess, and perhaps she will pass away and there will be an epilogue where the reporter decides to not publish anything. What would be the point?
Well written.
reply by the author on 26-Apr-2022
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Well, I guess there is one more scene left to this story. More things to say and be reveled I guess, and perhaps she will pass away and there will be an epilogue where the reporter decides to not publish anything. What would be the point?
Well written.
Comment Written 26-Apr-2022
reply by the author on 26-Apr-2022
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Haha! Not your favorite, I know.
Comment from JoannaN
A good script, with a good structure and an intriguing character. What I really appreciate is the language used by Miss Fanny. A reader can clearly distinguish who says what.
reply by the author on 26-Apr-2022
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A good script, with a good structure and an intriguing character. What I really appreciate is the language used by Miss Fanny. A reader can clearly distinguish who says what.
Comment Written 26-Apr-2022
reply by the author on 26-Apr-2022
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Thank you, Joanna. I'm glad you took a chance with this one and found some value in it.
Jay
Comment from dmt1967
This script kept my attention from the first word to the last and, considering the lateness of my arrival into the story, was very easy to follow. Thank you for sharing and take care.
reply by the author on 26-Apr-2022
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This script kept my attention from the first word to the last and, considering the lateness of my arrival into the story, was very easy to follow. Thank you for sharing and take care.
Comment Written 26-Apr-2022
reply by the author on 26-Apr-2022
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Thank you, my friend. I'm thankful you were able to navigate the storyline and find it worthy.
Comment from Tom Horonzy
Not sure I would buy this as a book. The language is too unclear that the old lady speaks but if this became a play, I would buy a ticket and enjoy it thoroughly. I think. Depends on the cast, i guess.
reply by the author on 26-Apr-2022
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Not sure I would buy this as a book. The language is too unclear that the old lady speaks but if this became a play, I would buy a ticket and enjoy it thoroughly. I think. Depends on the cast, i guess.
Comment Written 25-Apr-2022
reply by the author on 26-Apr-2022
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Thank you, Tom, for taking a chance on reading this. I couldn't ask for more than your candor.
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I appreciate this here square peg (me) being placed in a round pan (earth) having a personality of his own.