The Incomparable Fanny Barnwarmer
Viewing comments for Chapter 1 "Brady City, Texas, 1929"America's First Female Comic
36 total reviews
Comment from Bill Schott
Here we go--
The stage set up promises me that there will be a lot of reflection as the character(s) imagine for the audience to see. This is a unique way of having Fanny go over what we are currently seeing as what actually happened in the past. A fun way to start this script.
reply by the author on 11-Oct-2022
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Here we go--
The stage set up promises me that there will be a lot of reflection as the character(s) imagine for the audience to see. This is a unique way of having Fanny go over what we are currently seeing as what actually happened in the past. A fun way to start this script.
Comment Written 11-Oct-2022
reply by the author on 11-Oct-2022
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Yes, I pulled out all the stops with the opening of this play. Then as I got to the finish, I wished I'd have changed some of the first few scenes. Bill, thank you for choosing to read this. I can't imagine doing this myself, knowing how important it is to accrue pumps and member dollars to promote our own things. I have to pass by anything that has dropped to 2 cents. I can't afford to do as a number of people here do, which is to pay the cost for their Member Dollars. Nothing wrong with it if they can afford it. But I live on about $400 a month, which covers groceries, clothes and sparse entertainment. I'm saying all this in case you get to the point when you can't continue reading Fanny. Please, for whatever reason, just stop reading and know that what you've already read has boosted my morale immensely. There might be a few that you've pushed over into ATB. Hey, Man! You mean a lot to me!
Jay
Comment from Cindy Decker 2
Jay,
I like your well-structured script.
Fanny is a colorful character, who is unforgettable already, with a sweet southwestern vernacular.
I really like the end, as it draws the reader and entices him to continue to chapter 2z
Good luck in all you write
Best wishe,
Cindy
reply by the author on 24-Mar-2022
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Jay,
I like your well-structured script.
Fanny is a colorful character, who is unforgettable already, with a sweet southwestern vernacular.
I really like the end, as it draws the reader and entices him to continue to chapter 2z
Good luck in all you write
Best wishe,
Cindy
Comment Written 24-Mar-2022
reply by the author on 24-Mar-2022
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Thank you, Cindy. I'm stoked that you went all the way back to the beginning of this play. You are the best!
Jay
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You?re welcome, Jay.
Comment from Spitfire
Sorry to be so long to reply. Consider it my highest compliment that I reviewed it at two cents. :-)
I don't know how you come up with these names. Franny talks about her traveling companion. Is this to imply she prefers woman to men when it comes to intimacy?
I get that she is comedian anyway.
On to the next scene.
reply by the author on 21-Feb-2022
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Sorry to be so long to reply. Consider it my highest compliment that I reviewed it at two cents. :-)
I don't know how you come up with these names. Franny talks about her traveling companion. Is this to imply she prefers woman to men when it comes to intimacy?
I get that she is comedian anyway.
On to the next scene.
Comment Written 20-Feb-2022
reply by the author on 21-Feb-2022
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I DO take that as a compliment, Shari. And it was so long! You were the only one who wondered (out loud) about the female/female intimacy connection. I'd have thought there'd have been many. Especially in light of the content of the correspondence. Perhaps we'll find out later, but it's probably not going to be highly relevant. A lot of "Perhaps" and "Probablys" .... Hmmmmm.
Comment from chatterbox1
This is top-notch intrigue/humor! I love it, Jay. Been out of commission for awhile, so sorry to take so long to respond, Keep going-- I want more!
Carol
reply by the author on 19-Feb-2022
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This is top-notch intrigue/humor! I love it, Jay. Been out of commission for awhile, so sorry to take so long to respond, Keep going-- I want more!
Carol
Comment Written 19-Feb-2022
reply by the author on 19-Feb-2022
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You'll get scene 2 right at midnight (EST). Meanwhile, you are so kind to give scene 1 such a fine rating (the royal order of the chartreuse crossed-Band Aids.) Seriously, thanks, Carol. I'll see you with part 2 in about 45 minutes.
Comment from Father Flaps
Hi Jay,
As I'm writing this review, there's a wind outside that's trying to blow my roof off. I hate the wind! It ruins a peaceful sleep. I know I'll be tired in the morning.
Anyhow, I loved your first scene. Top of the hill! We have a comedian up here in Canada, and I pictured her as I read along... Bette MacDonald has been making people laugh for years. So funny, accent and all. Have a listen...
https://youtu.be/GeDI2b5FaDY
The other thing your scene reminded me of was the opening of the 1970 movie, "Little Big Man", starring Dustin Hoffman, Faye Dunaway, and Chief Dan George. There was a reporter interviewing an old Indian fighter in a retirement home...
https://youtu.be/7oaQGw2W8IU
I hope you continue this play, Jay, but I'm also wondering what happened to your other play. I sure hope you're going to continue that one, too!
Cheers,
Kimbob
reply by the author on 16-Feb-2022
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Hi Jay,
As I'm writing this review, there's a wind outside that's trying to blow my roof off. I hate the wind! It ruins a peaceful sleep. I know I'll be tired in the morning.
Anyhow, I loved your first scene. Top of the hill! We have a comedian up here in Canada, and I pictured her as I read along... Bette MacDonald has been making people laugh for years. So funny, accent and all. Have a listen...
https://youtu.be/GeDI2b5FaDY
The other thing your scene reminded me of was the opening of the 1970 movie, "Little Big Man", starring Dustin Hoffman, Faye Dunaway, and Chief Dan George. There was a reporter interviewing an old Indian fighter in a retirement home...
https://youtu.be/7oaQGw2W8IU
I hope you continue this play, Jay, but I'm also wondering what happened to your other play. I sure hope you're going to continue that one, too!
Cheers,
Kimbob
Comment Written 16-Feb-2022
reply by the author on 16-Feb-2022
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I have two plays that, like Beethoven's symphonies, are as yet unfinished. I feel like I've run out of gas on both. We'll see though after I've finished this one. Thank you for reading this, and for the six stars, Kimbob. I'll catch MacDonald's video. Speaking of which... Have you ever seen "The Day After", Staring Jason Robard. I watched the entire movie on YouTube two days ago. Some startling special effects ... and aftereffects. It's a couple of hours long and the speech was out of sync, but I still enjoyed it.
Thanks again.
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You are right in not rushing it, Jay. Let things gel in your noggin before proceeding. Both plays are top notch!
Comment from irishauthorme
This is top class script. You painted a picture here, I could see all your characters, Fanny, Juniper, see their movements and facial expressions as they addressed an obviously green, 30 year old reporter who worked for the NY Times, out of his element, in the small town of Brady,
Texas.
Very Good work,
irish
reply by the author on 16-Feb-2022
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This is top class script. You painted a picture here, I could see all your characters, Fanny, Juniper, see their movements and facial expressions as they addressed an obviously green, 30 year old reporter who worked for the NY Times, out of his element, in the small town of Brady,
Texas.
Very Good work,
irish
Comment Written 16-Feb-2022
reply by the author on 16-Feb-2022
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Thank you so much, Irish. I hope you enjoyed it enough to catch the next scene. Things start heating up with it.
Comment from LJbutterfly
This scrip demonstrates why you are the number one script writer on this site. The stage directions are detailed and understandable. The dialogue is realistic and authentic. The characters are believable. The story line is captivating and ends with a suspenseful twist. Looking forward to the continuation.
reply by the author on 16-Feb-2022
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This scrip demonstrates why you are the number one script writer on this site. The stage directions are detailed and understandable. The dialogue is realistic and authentic. The characters are believable. The story line is captivating and ends with a suspenseful twist. Looking forward to the continuation.
Comment Written 16-Feb-2022
reply by the author on 16-Feb-2022
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Lorraine, you are sooooooo kind. Thank you. But the only reason I'm number one in scripts is that there are only a few of us who writes them, and I'm the only one fool enough to promote them so high that even the staunch haters of scripts will read them.
I'll accept credit for the dialogue, though. I work very hard on that. I think you'll enjoy the next scene. Thanks for agreeing to jump aboard.
Jay
Comment from judiverse
Very distinctive characters. It is amazing that Fanny is still performing, at her age. It would be unusual to see unescorted young women like Fanny and Juniper at the Tavern. Excellent formatting for your script. The scene ends with quite a revelation about Juniper wanting to kill Thurston. I'm sure the details will be revealed. Sheriff is the correct spelling. Was the name of the small town newspaper intentionally misspelled Sentinal? I see this has garnered many excellent reviews. Congratulations. judi
reply by the author on 16-Feb-2022
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Very distinctive characters. It is amazing that Fanny is still performing, at her age. It would be unusual to see unescorted young women like Fanny and Juniper at the Tavern. Excellent formatting for your script. The scene ends with quite a revelation about Juniper wanting to kill Thurston. I'm sure the details will be revealed. Sheriff is the correct spelling. Was the name of the small town newspaper intentionally misspelled Sentinal? I see this has garnered many excellent reviews. Congratulations. judi
Comment Written 16-Feb-2022
reply by the author on 16-Feb-2022
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Thank you, Judi. Having you read and comment on my plays means a lot to me; your perspective is loaded with personal experience and that gives your reviews authenticity.
Sentinel was Brady's newspaper in 1880. Thanks for the catch. I assume you meant I misspelled Sheriff? I will correct that. It's one of those words like desert/dessert. [I've made both those corrections.]
Thank you for everything!
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You're very welcome. I rarely have anything to pin on you. I think it's interesting to add those historical details to a story or play. judi
Comment from Sandra Stoner-Mitchell
That was one hell of an ending, Jay! Now you have everyones attention, Lol. I'm looking forward to where you are going to take us with this script. I love Fanny, and dear Juniper, I want to know more about her. You have some great characters to start this story, and like the Reporter, I'm looking forward to the exciting bit that will follow! Why did Juniper want to kill Thurston Flourney?? Loved it, you will be getting a six next time. Mine went before I knew I had them. :( Warm hugs, my friend. Sandra xxx
reply by the author on 16-Feb-2022
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That was one hell of an ending, Jay! Now you have everyones attention, Lol. I'm looking forward to where you are going to take us with this script. I love Fanny, and dear Juniper, I want to know more about her. You have some great characters to start this story, and like the Reporter, I'm looking forward to the exciting bit that will follow! Why did Juniper want to kill Thurston Flourney?? Loved it, you will be getting a six next time. Mine went before I knew I had them. :( Warm hugs, my friend. Sandra xxx
Comment Written 16-Feb-2022
reply by the author on 16-Feb-2022
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Don't worry about the sixes. I'm more concerned with the reader count to take me beyond 26 so it earns a rating under scripts. I'm so pleased to have you aboard.
Comment from the13thpoet
Hello Jay Squires a Wonderful Wednesday to you. I hope this finds you well. I enjoyed reading your script, that Fanny is quite the character. I look forward to reading more.
reply by the author on 16-Feb-2022
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Hello Jay Squires a Wonderful Wednesday to you. I hope this finds you well. I enjoyed reading your script, that Fanny is quite the character. I look forward to reading more.
Comment Written 16-Feb-2022
reply by the author on 16-Feb-2022
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Top of the day to you, too, my friend. Thank you for reading and for agreeing to jump aboard for the remaining scenes.