Football - A Novel
Viewing comments for Chapter 72 "Football Chapter 43"A mother faces life's struggles.
32 total reviews
Comment from Melodie Michelle
I can only give a VIRTUAL six stars my friend but you deserve a real six stars but I'm all out;-( The storyline was very interesting and held my attention throughout the piece!
Thank you for sharing and many blessings to you and your family;-)
reply by the author on 27-Jan-2022
  |
I can only give a VIRTUAL six stars my friend but you deserve a real six stars but I'm all out;-( The storyline was very interesting and held my attention throughout the piece!
Thank you for sharing and many blessings to you and your family;-)
Comment Written 27-Jan-2022
reply by the author on 27-Jan-2022
-
Thank you for dropping by and reading. To me a virtual six is good.
Comment from nomi338
This story is so compelling. Just like real life, things come from left field at the most unexpected times and they can knock you for a loop. I truly love the way the support group is gathering around Katherine forming a village of caretakers, each one stepping up to support her in some way or another.
reply by the author on 27-Jan-2022
 |
This story is so compelling. Just like real life, things come from left field at the most unexpected times and they can knock you for a loop. I truly love the way the support group is gathering around Katherine forming a village of caretakers, each one stepping up to support her in some way or another.
Comment Written 26-Jan-2022
reply by the author on 27-Jan-2022
-
Thank you for the understanding.
Comment from Pam (respa)
-Thanks for sharing your notes and the chapter, barbara.
-I am sorry about your surgeries, but am glad you are okay.
-Your wrote this very well with a lot of compassion and love.
-The relationship among all of these characters connected to Katherine is nice to see. There is a lot of love and support.
-It has to be so difficult for young people, and I like how you handled it with the boys. They needed to know, but they had to handle it in their own way.
-It was an excellent chapter.
reply by the author on 26-Jan-2022
|
-Thanks for sharing your notes and the chapter, barbara.
-I am sorry about your surgeries, but am glad you are okay.
-Your wrote this very well with a lot of compassion and love.
-The relationship among all of these characters connected to Katherine is nice to see. There is a lot of love and support.
-It has to be so difficult for young people, and I like how you handled it with the boys. They needed to know, but they had to handle it in their own way.
-It was an excellent chapter.
Comment Written 26-Jan-2022
reply by the author on 26-Jan-2022
-
Thank you for the kind review.
-
You are very welcome.
Comment from Iza Deleanu
You keep me on my toes with this novel. It's so intense and heartbreaking and I'm sad for both Gabe and Kate, but I guess this is a test that will make their love stronger. Thank you for sharing and I'm so sorry about your cancer....
reply by the author on 26-Jan-2022
|
You keep me on my toes with this novel. It's so intense and heartbreaking and I'm sad for both Gabe and Kate, but I guess this is a test that will make their love stronger. Thank you for sharing and I'm so sorry about your cancer....
Comment Written 25-Jan-2022
reply by the author on 26-Jan-2022
-
Thank you for this kind review.
Comment from tfawcus
There's a lot happening here and at a breathless pace. This is a pivotal part of the story and may need slowing down a bit. Less machine-gun dialogue, more emphasis on the feelings. I thought the part where Jordan was speaking with Harold was along the right lines, as was the part where the news was broken to the children. Once again, Gabriel comes up trumps.
reply by the author on 25-Jan-2022
|
There's a lot happening here and at a breathless pace. This is a pivotal part of the story and may need slowing down a bit. Less machine-gun dialogue, more emphasis on the feelings. I thought the part where Jordan was speaking with Harold was along the right lines, as was the part where the news was broken to the children. Once again, Gabriel comes up trumps.
Comment Written 25-Jan-2022
reply by the author on 25-Jan-2022
-
I will take another look. Thank you for the kind review.
Comment from lancellot
A nice very detailed chapter and in keeping with themes this story is based on. No surprise as to the aggressive cancer.
At some point, you may want to address why Gabe is in love with Kate. I'm not nit-picking, just for your possible male readers (outside FS). What has Kate brought to Gabe's life? What positives? (No money, a bunch of kids, never-ending problems, no sex) This isn't a joke. A romance is a two-way street and this is a romance novel, right?
Gabriel studied the door they took Katherine through. "It shouldn't be much longer." After a silence, he asked, "Why her? Am I being punished for my pro-years?"
-I would rethink this. There is 'nothing' in Gabe's pro-years. Nothing any 'normal' man would do in his place. No crimes, no 'real' sins. Nothing. Authors should be careful about inserting too much of their personal feelings into their fiction.
reply by the author on 25-Jan-2022
|
A nice very detailed chapter and in keeping with themes this story is based on. No surprise as to the aggressive cancer.
At some point, you may want to address why Gabe is in love with Kate. I'm not nit-picking, just for your possible male readers (outside FS). What has Kate brought to Gabe's life? What positives? (No money, a bunch of kids, never-ending problems, no sex) This isn't a joke. A romance is a two-way street and this is a romance novel, right?
Gabriel studied the door they took Katherine through. "It shouldn't be much longer." After a silence, he asked, "Why her? Am I being punished for my pro-years?"
-I would rethink this. There is 'nothing' in Gabe's pro-years. Nothing any 'normal' man would do in his place. No crimes, no 'real' sins. Nothing. Authors should be careful about inserting too much of their personal feelings into their fiction.
Comment Written 24-Jan-2022
reply by the author on 25-Jan-2022
-
I'm just curious. If a woman has no money, a bunch of kids, and doesn't want to set a bad example for her kids, no man would want her? I'm not sure I would agree. Katherine has money. She's rich. Thank you for the kind review.
-
No man would want Kate. Even men, need a reason to want a woman. Kate, as written, gives none. She doesn't give Gabe (a grown man) anything. Except cold showers.
Really, I'm not being mean. Why would a man want Kate?
-
She's smart, sensitive, has a sense of humor. So all women are for is sex????
I have men reviewers who don't share your opinion of Katherine. I'm confused.
-
If you think the romance between your two main characters is solid than that's okay. It's not about sex. It's about being there for each other equally. Taking care of each other. I can only point out, what I read Gabe giving to Kate, but I do not see what she gives to him.
When Gabe has manly needs and I read Kate dismiss them. I can't but ask, "Why doesn't she do things besides sex?" (There are other things) and "What would a grown woman expect a man who's needs aren't being met to do? Really, Kate is so sensitive, that we never see her think about it.
Maybe I missed it, and there is a lot there.
No, you have men reviewers who will not say anything. Ten years ago, many other reviewers would tell you this, to aid in your characters' development. But today, most review are praise only. So they get reviewed back and get a six. Today, FS is more social than about improvement of writing.
-
I hear what you're saying.
Comment from amahra
Wow!Katherine needs a break. It's about time she starts getting some good news. I like the fact, though, that she has these problems because it is really making her future mate tried and true.
reply by the author on 24-Jan-2022
|
Wow!Katherine needs a break. It's about time she starts getting some good news. I like the fact, though, that she has these problems because it is really making her future mate tried and true.
Comment Written 24-Jan-2022
reply by the author on 24-Jan-2022
-
That is true. Thank you for the kind review.
Comment from robyn corum
Barb,
What a brave portion of the story. I was not quite sure that Gabe would be asking those intricate questions at the beginning of the surgery... but I trust you to know how these things work.
Only a tiny note:
--> Within in minutes the surgeon entered.
--> delete 'in'
Thanks, girl - sending HUGE hugs!
reply by the author on 24-Jan-2022
|
Barb,
What a brave portion of the story. I was not quite sure that Gabe would be asking those intricate questions at the beginning of the surgery... but I trust you to know how these things work.
Only a tiny note:
--> Within in minutes the surgeon entered.
--> delete 'in'
Thanks, girl - sending HUGE hugs!
Comment Written 24-Jan-2022
reply by the author on 24-Jan-2022
-
Thank you for the catch. Gabe went to the first meeting with Katherine. I mentioned it, but didn't write about the meeting. He would ask those questions.
Comment from Sanku
When things seem to move smoothly ,in comes a shocker .This is the story of life.. The narration is authentic ,i realised after reading your notes that some of this is based on your personal experience...
reply by the author on 24-Jan-2022
|
When things seem to move smoothly ,in comes a shocker .This is the story of life.. The narration is authentic ,i realised after reading your notes that some of this is based on your personal experience...
Comment Written 24-Jan-2022
reply by the author on 24-Jan-2022
-
Thank you for understanding.
Comment from Theodore McDowell
Barb, very interesting and shocking twist for K to have breast cancer. Great for upping the ante of the story. Even more shocking to me is the note where you indicated you are a breast cancer survivor. I would like to read your notes about going through that experience.
reply by the author on 24-Jan-2022
|
Barb, very interesting and shocking twist for K to have breast cancer. Great for upping the ante of the story. Even more shocking to me is the note where you indicated you are a breast cancer survivor. I would like to read your notes about going through that experience.
Comment Written 23-Jan-2022
reply by the author on 24-Jan-2022
-
They are in my portfolio. I put them into a book, but they are not in order. I have to figure out how to do that. Computers are not my thing.