Football - A Novel
Viewing comments for Chapter 45 "Football Chapter 23 part1"A mother faces life's struggles.
28 total reviews
Comment from Rdfrdmom2
barbara:
I would hope that Katherine's in-laws don't have the guts to murder her so their next best chance to get their hands on the boys' inheritance is to prove her an unfit mother. It's one thing to steal from your daughter-in-law; but lower than a slime's belly to steal from one's grandchildren.
reply by the author on 31-Jul-2021
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barbara:
I would hope that Katherine's in-laws don't have the guts to murder her so their next best chance to get their hands on the boys' inheritance is to prove her an unfit mother. It's one thing to steal from your daughter-in-law; but lower than a slime's belly to steal from one's grandchildren.
Comment Written 30-Jul-2021
reply by the author on 31-Jul-2021
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Yes, they are truly slime. Thank you for the kind review. Sorry you had to read it when no monies attached.
Comment from robyn corum
Barb,
Finally! I'm here! Of course, I have no idea when I'll be back... This summer has been nuts. But it's also been awesome - as I know you understand so well. I know how much you love and care about all the little ones. I'm soaking up every single moment I can with these two little babies I have.
Anyway, I'm enjoying the story still and think you're doing a super job of developing this relationship. Kudos!
Notes:
1.) "I have (a) couple of ideas."
2.) Katherine dialed the lawyer(')s number.
3.) Now for the more difficult question, yes, they sometimes are.
--> this didn't seem an appropriate answer to me. Was he replying to 'can they do that?' Sounds more like he's answering a question about whether these attempts are usually successful or something
Thanks so much! Appreicate your patience with me!
reply by the author on 31-Jul-2021
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Barb,
Finally! I'm here! Of course, I have no idea when I'll be back... This summer has been nuts. But it's also been awesome - as I know you understand so well. I know how much you love and care about all the little ones. I'm soaking up every single moment I can with these two little babies I have.
Anyway, I'm enjoying the story still and think you're doing a super job of developing this relationship. Kudos!
Notes:
1.) "I have (a) couple of ideas."
2.) Katherine dialed the lawyer(')s number.
3.) Now for the more difficult question, yes, they sometimes are.
--> this didn't seem an appropriate answer to me. Was he replying to 'can they do that?' Sounds more like he's answering a question about whether these attempts are usually successful or something
Thanks so much! Appreicate your patience with me!
Comment Written 30-Jul-2021
reply by the author on 31-Jul-2021
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Thank you for the catches. I reworded that paragraph. Hopefully it reads better.
Comment from Anne Johnston
I have enjoyed reading your story this far. At first, I didn't click on it because of the title including Football, but I am glad I did. Your story is very well written, and I am looking forward to the next chapter.
reply by the author on 29-Jul-2021
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I have enjoyed reading your story this far. At first, I didn't click on it because of the title including Football, but I am glad I did. Your story is very well written, and I am looking forward to the next chapter.
Comment Written 29-Jul-2021
reply by the author on 29-Jul-2021
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I has very little to do with football. It's only in the background. Thank you for taking that chance.
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You are welcome
Comment from dellsworthpoet
An interesting bit of story. It foreshadows a major crisis. The dialogue seems unaffected and causal. The story moves and flows well. I always look for setting and see little of this in this part of the work.
An easy read. Found no difficulty following who was speaking.
Thanks for sharing.
reply by the author on 29-Jul-2021
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An interesting bit of story. It foreshadows a major crisis. The dialogue seems unaffected and causal. The story moves and flows well. I always look for setting and see little of this in this part of the work.
An easy read. Found no difficulty following who was speaking.
Thanks for sharing.
Comment Written 28-Jul-2021
reply by the author on 29-Jul-2021
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Thank you for the kind the review.
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You are welcome.
Comment from ShirleyT1
I've just recently returned to FanStory, and I just jumped in on your story. It is great, and I will definitely be trying to do some catch up. I like your characters, and their well-written dialogue. I look forward to reading more of this story.
reply by the author on 28-Jul-2021
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I've just recently returned to FanStory, and I just jumped in on your story. It is great, and I will definitely be trying to do some catch up. I like your characters, and their well-written dialogue. I look forward to reading more of this story.
Comment Written 28-Jul-2021
reply by the author on 28-Jul-2021
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Welcome back!! Thank you for reading my post. I appreciate it.
Comment from amahra
Great, finally the race, and hopefully the two will start dating. Another fine chapter, Barbara.
"Yea, ["Yeah], Jeremy's awfully young for such treatment." [I believe you meant 'yeah' meaning yes and not 'Yea.']
reply by the author on 28-Jul-2021
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Great, finally the race, and hopefully the two will start dating. Another fine chapter, Barbara.
"Yea, ["Yeah], Jeremy's awfully young for such treatment." [I believe you meant 'yeah' meaning yes and not 'Yea.']
Comment Written 27-Jul-2021
reply by the author on 28-Jul-2021
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Thank you for the catch. I will change it. They still have a few hurdles to get over.
Comment from Rosemary Everson1
It sounds like the race will begin....which one will win, track or the race for inheritance. Kind of sad to think that some people will spend their inheritance and then will dig in their children's inheritance. Ouch!
reply by the author on 27-Jul-2021
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It sounds like the race will begin....which one will win, track or the race for inheritance. Kind of sad to think that some people will spend their inheritance and then will dig in their children's inheritance. Ouch!
Comment Written 27-Jul-2021
reply by the author on 27-Jul-2021
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I think Katherine's in-laws may not be the most honest people. Thank you for the kind review.
Comment from tfawcus
I'm enjoying the light banter between Jordan and Katherine, and you use it well to progress the plot. I hope the hiccup over the will doesn't throw too much of a spanner in the works. Another easy to read chapter that flows well.
Just one suggestion. In your opening paragraph, especially as it is at the start of a new chapter, you may need to make it clear who's speaking: On Tuesday, when Katherine and Daisy joined Gabriel and Reggie on the sidewalk for their morning run, she said, "Thank you again for taking us to the miniature golf course, yesterday. The boys had a great time, but you didn't need to do that."
reply by the author on 27-Jul-2021
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I'm enjoying the light banter between Jordan and Katherine, and you use it well to progress the plot. I hope the hiccup over the will doesn't throw too much of a spanner in the works. Another easy to read chapter that flows well.
Just one suggestion. In your opening paragraph, especially as it is at the start of a new chapter, you may need to make it clear who's speaking: On Tuesday, when Katherine and Daisy joined Gabriel and Reggie on the sidewalk for their morning run, she said, "Thank you again for taking us to the miniature golf course, yesterday. The boys had a great time, but you didn't need to do that."
Comment Written 27-Jul-2021
reply by the author on 27-Jul-2021
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I fixed it. I just assumed since I'd mention Katherine in the previous sentence, it was understood, but I see your point and fixed it. Thank you.
Comment from Gert sherwood
Katherine contacts George's lawyer.
your chapter in the book Football - A Novel
Football Chapter 23 part1
I like how everything is moving along . I do wonder what is going on with the will!
Gert
reply by the author on 27-Jul-2021
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Katherine contacts George's lawyer.
your chapter in the book Football - A Novel
Football Chapter 23 part1
I like how everything is moving along . I do wonder what is going on with the will!
Gert
Comment Written 26-Jul-2021
reply by the author on 27-Jul-2021
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Thank you for the kind review.
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Barb you are most welcome
Gert
Comment from Judy Lawless
I like the direction you're taking this Barbara. There is still a mystery to be resolved, but it looks like Katharine's assets are safe. The fact that she is beginning to let Gabriel in a little more and he's declared his intentions brings a smile. Well done.
reply by the author on 26-Jul-2021
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I like the direction you're taking this Barbara. There is still a mystery to be resolved, but it looks like Katharine's assets are safe. The fact that she is beginning to let Gabriel in a little more and he's declared his intentions brings a smile. Well done.
Comment Written 26-Jul-2021
reply by the author on 26-Jul-2021
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Thank you for the kind review.