Reviews from

I Was a Teenage Weightlifter

...And a Reputation Hangs in the Balance.

48 total reviews 
Comment from Sean Daily
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level

I'm still laughing! What a great flash fiction piece, even if it isn't fiction. (Is it?) Dialog isn't a technique I'd thought of using before to relay meaning but keep my word count low. I thank you for that idea. I really enjoyed the read. I have no suggestions, perfect as it is!

 Comment Written 18-Aug-2021

reply by the author on 18-Aug-2021
    Definitely not fiction. I'm glad you got a kick out of it, Sean. The public humiliation still is fresh, across all those years.
Comment from tfawcus
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

'the sudden intimacy of cool air.' Loved that description! This is a splendid account of a most embarrassing moment. It seems that Rosalee may have had a sneak preview despite Mom's reassurances to the contrary. I'm left wondering if she liked what she saw!

 Comment Written 07-May-2021

reply by the author on 07-May-2021
    Lol, Tony. It's like one reviewer told me, I should have answered my mother with, "It's not like it's something she's never seen before.
Comment from Susan Newell
Excellent
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It seems the most humorous stories are the ones that involve embarrassing ourselves. And you replied to your mother, "At least nothing she hasn't seen before," right?

Are you sure Clean-and-jerk should have an upper case C?

 Comment Written 06-May-2021

reply by the author on 06-May-2021
    Thanks, Susan. That's something my Dad would have likely said with a wink and, "right, son?" And I would have responded, "Daaaaaad!" Back then, no one was very close to their true emotions. I wondered about the Clean and Jerk thing myself. I think you're probably right. Changed.
Comment from roof35
Excellent
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This is a terrific entry for the True Story Flash Contest. Such embarrassing times are doubly hard for teenagers. Very well written and it gave me a chuckle.

 Comment Written 05-May-2021

reply by the author on 05-May-2021
    Thank you for your kind words. Yes it was embarrassing.
Comment from Father Flaps
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

Yikes! I have to assume that this actually happened, Jay, since the contest is for True Flash. Poor Rosalee! And now she's cross-eyed. She might have seen something, eh, since your mother suggested that "I don't think Rosalee saw anything, dear." That means she might have seen something. And there were gasps from the audience, so they may also have seen something. But we can't be certain. Many people think they've seen a UFO, but nobody believes it.
This is a great entry for the contest, Jay. I enjoyed it. At least you didn't have to shout, "I was in the pool! I was in the pool!"
Good Luck!
Cheers,
Kimbob

 Comment Written 05-May-2021

reply by the author on 05-May-2021
    Hahaha. Sounds like you know the mother-language very well. UFO! Now that would have been a good one. Thanks Kimbob. I always love your take on what I write.
Comment from Colleen The Garbanzo Bean
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level

I love how much action and feeling can be in one short story. I can feel your pride at starting this team, your family and girlfriend there to cheer you on. Then, so quickly, that pride can be washed away. You wrote in a way that has a great change of emotion so quickly. Great humor, too!

 Comment Written 05-May-2021

reply by the author on 05-May-2021
    Colleen! May I say you also found a way to explain so many levels of my flash story with an equal economy of words. Thanks for the six stars, which is rare for a short piece. You are da bomb!
Comment from Meia (MESAYERS)
Excellent
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I have always loved your fantastic offbeat and brilliant sense of humour. This made me laugh out loud. A brilliant entry for the competition, I have always thought jockstraps so ugly but then what is inside can be far uglier lol at least to the wrong person. I loved your mother's aside at the end. Fantastic work as always good luck love Meia x

 Comment Written 05-May-2021

reply by the author on 05-May-2021
    Thank you Meia for your kind words and humor. Ha! What's inside being uglier than the jock strap that holds it. Mothers are something else, aren't they?
Comment from Sandra Stoner-Mitchell
Excellent
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Lol!! Oh, Jay, that was so funny, how long did your girlfriend stay with you? I'm sure if mum saw, she saw, as well. I love this and I'm sure it will do well in the contest. Good luck! :)) Sandra xxx

 Comment Written 05-May-2021

reply by the author on 05-May-2021
    Thank you, Sandra! I think we drifted apart not long after. We're still friends on Face Book.
Comment from Wendy G
Excellent
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An excellent story for the True Story Flash contest - in more ways than one! You told it well, with clarity and humour, and I send good wishes for your entry.

 Comment Written 05-May-2021

reply by the author on 05-May-2021
    I accept you good wishes, Wendy. Thank you so much for your kind words and the stars.
Comment from L. Kalere
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

I love your self-deprecating humor. You're an entertaining story teller, with great writing skills. Your 100 words just might win the contest. Best of luck.
Linda

 Comment Written 04-May-2021

reply by the author on 05-May-2021
    Thank you so much for the compliments and the well-wishes in the contest.