Blended Reality
Viewing comments for Chapter 28 "Failure? Really..."A collection of stories: Some True, some not
20 total reviews
Comment from Alba31
Oh, I am too familiar with what you've described. We all are. The poem is relatable and honest, rich in imagery and words of choice.
Also enjoyed the inner rhythm of each line.
Thank you for sharing :)
Alba
reply by the author on 08-Feb-2021
  |
Oh, I am too familiar with what you've described. We all are. The poem is relatable and honest, rich in imagery and words of choice.
Also enjoyed the inner rhythm of each line.
Thank you for sharing :)
Alba
Comment Written 08-Feb-2021
reply by the author on 08-Feb-2021
-
Alba31.Thank you for taking the time to read and comment on this free verse poem on failure...really? As we traverse through our lives we try many things at which we are successful or unsuccessful and that is the pure beauty of living with out limitations to experiment.
Comment from Bill Schott
This free verse, Failure? Really..., takes a hold of that term and shakes out all the added negativity when it is directed toward an individual. Failure is for objects that have out lived their usefulness. People are those being who understand and continue.
reply by the author on 06-Feb-2021
|
This free verse, Failure? Really..., takes a hold of that term and shakes out all the added negativity when it is directed toward an individual. Failure is for objects that have out lived their usefulness. People are those being who understand and continue.
Comment Written 06-Feb-2021
reply by the author on 06-Feb-2021
-
Bill thank you this validation!
Comment from RetroStarfish
There are some wonderful observations and clever turns of phrase in this poem that has somehow been posted under stories and chapters.
This explains the formatting issues, but not the awkward phrasing in some parts.
"Fail...u...are" is a great line. Very clever and impactful.
"a coach, teacher or God forbid - a parent," this phrase requires the punctuation to separate the aside - God forbid - from the rest of the sentence. Could be done with commas on either side, or hyphens as demonstrated above.
The same holds for the next two lines: "or that person you so often try to charm your significant partner in life..."
Good luck in the contest.
reply by the author on 06-Feb-2021
 |
There are some wonderful observations and clever turns of phrase in this poem that has somehow been posted under stories and chapters.
This explains the formatting issues, but not the awkward phrasing in some parts.
"Fail...u...are" is a great line. Very clever and impactful.
"a coach, teacher or God forbid - a parent," this phrase requires the punctuation to separate the aside - God forbid - from the rest of the sentence. Could be done with commas on either side, or hyphens as demonstrated above.
The same holds for the next two lines: "or that person you so often try to charm your significant partner in life..."
Good luck in the contest.
Comment Written 06-Feb-2021
reply by the author on 06-Feb-2021
-
Thanks, I did not however select the stories/chapter format which i abhor...it simply was how the offering was provided, trust me when i say i look for every avenue to change this to a poetry format. Thanks for the editing input, I have made corrections
Comment from Sandra Stoner-Mitchell
Some times failures can become winners withought even realising it. I made a cake, that I religiously followed the recipe of, apart from one very important ingrediant. The oil. It was my carrot cake which needed a large quantity of it, and I forgot to put it in! The cake was ruined, so I thought as I looked at it cooking in the oven, but the fact was, it wasn't a failure, it actually tasted lovely, and without all that oil, it was healthier! So from failure came a winner!! LOL. I enjoyed reading your Failure poem, and agree, sometimes we are just unsuccessfull. But then again, sometime's we're not! Good luck in the contest. :)) Sandra xx
reply by the author on 06-Feb-2021
|
Some times failures can become winners withought even realising it. I made a cake, that I religiously followed the recipe of, apart from one very important ingrediant. The oil. It was my carrot cake which needed a large quantity of it, and I forgot to put it in! The cake was ruined, so I thought as I looked at it cooking in the oven, but the fact was, it wasn't a failure, it actually tasted lovely, and without all that oil, it was healthier! So from failure came a winner!! LOL. I enjoyed reading your Failure poem, and agree, sometimes we are just unsuccessfull. But then again, sometime's we're not! Good luck in the contest. :)) Sandra xx
Comment Written 06-Feb-2021
reply by the author on 06-Feb-2021
-
Sandra, while you unsuccessfully took the step of adding the carrots, the result is that the cake failed to meet your expectation's, it was your effort in following the recipe exactly that was unsuccessful. I bet you will not forget that step again.....yummm carrot cake is one of my favorites!
Comment from equestrik
Your words sure ring true here and I think you have written well. The picture goes really well with your writing. Good job and all the best to you in the contest.
reply by the author on 06-Feb-2021
|
Your words sure ring true here and I think you have written well. The picture goes really well with your writing. Good job and all the best to you in the contest.
Comment Written 05-Feb-2021
reply by the author on 06-Feb-2021
-
Thank you.
Comment from davisr (Rhonda)
An interesting poem about failure. You describe many aspects of it, and explore meanings.
Did you mean to post this under prose or poetry, because it came up as a short story..
Best of luck in the contest,
Rhonda
reply by the author on 05-Feb-2021
|
An interesting poem about failure. You describe many aspects of it, and explore meanings.
Did you mean to post this under prose or poetry, because it came up as a short story..
Best of luck in the contest,
Rhonda
Comment Written 05-Feb-2021
reply by the author on 05-Feb-2021
-
Rhonda, thank you for the question my intention was to present this as free verse poem, I cant seem to change the silly prose formatting ugh.....
-
Aww, things can get mixed around sometimes! My worst is when they release a work before you're finished editing, then you have to pull it and start over. Still, it works more than it doesn't. Good luck.
Comment from nova2
I loveddd it! This poem made me smile. It was extremely raw and overall a good expression of how we speak words into our own lives. It made me think that not everything should be seen as failures in our lives because not everything is supposed to be perfect the first time
reply by the author on 05-Feb-2021
|
I loveddd it! This poem made me smile. It was extremely raw and overall a good expression of how we speak words into our own lives. It made me think that not everything should be seen as failures in our lives because not everything is supposed to be perfect the first time
Comment Written 05-Feb-2021
reply by the author on 05-Feb-2021
-
nova2, thank you so much!
Comment from tfawcus
I recognise that picture. I think it was me! LOL
You make some interesting points here. Lack of success isn't necessarily failure, but not being willing to get up again and have another go... Perhaps.
reply by the author on 05-Feb-2021
|
I recognise that picture. I think it was me! LOL
You make some interesting points here. Lack of success isn't necessarily failure, but not being willing to get up again and have another go... Perhaps.
Comment Written 05-Feb-2021
reply by the author on 05-Feb-2021
-
Tony, so true! We should never give over to defeat, being unsuccessful so long as one tries and tries again to master any challenge, to the best of one's capabilities.
Comment from Iza Deleanu
Clever way of twisting the definition of failure to -
but, truth be told, us humans at times are just unsuccessful! Thank you for sharing ad good luck with the contest.
reply by the author on 05-Feb-2021
|
Clever way of twisting the definition of failure to -
but, truth be told, us humans at times are just unsuccessful! Thank you for sharing ad good luck with the contest.
Comment Written 05-Feb-2021
reply by the author on 05-Feb-2021
-
Iza, yes at times such is so, but then we just go on,
Comment from Wendy G
You make a very good point. It is things which fail, whereas people may simply be unsuccessful - and who is the judge of that? Retaining one's integrity regardless of what others may think is the ultimate success. Well written.
reply by the author on 05-Feb-2021
|
You make a very good point. It is things which fail, whereas people may simply be unsuccessful - and who is the judge of that? Retaining one's integrity regardless of what others may think is the ultimate success. Well written.
Comment Written 04-Feb-2021
reply by the author on 05-Feb-2021
-
Wendy, thank you! We should never give over to defeat, being unsuccessful so long as one tries and tries again to master any challenge, to the best of one's capabilities.