Reviews from

Football - A Novel

Viewing comments for Chapter 11 "Football Chapter 5 part 2"
A mother faces life's struggles.

22 total reviews 
Comment from Rosemary Everson1
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

Sure glad that Mrs. Frost told Katherine the story about her husband's behavior. There is no excuse for Mr. Frost to do such a thing even though he feels revenge against women.

 Comment Written 27-Jan-2021


reply by the author on 30-Jan-2021
    Thank you for going back and reading without any money attached.
Comment from Sanku
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level

Mrs Frost appearing and apologising was a surprise turn of events. This can lead to broader canvass of people's psyche and their behaviour. A very good development ...

 Comment Written 03-Dec-2020


reply by the author on 05-Dec-2020
    Thank you for the kind review.
Comment from eliz100
Excellent
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This is a great continuation of your story. It is getting juicy - conflicts are more explained and personalities more reveled. I always appreciate your use of space and the length of piece.

 Comment Written 02-Dec-2020


reply by the author on 05-Dec-2020
    Thank you for the kind review.
Comment from estory
Excellent
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What I liked about this chapter was you gave us insights into Frost's inner demons, and kind of gave us a perspective from his point of view, and that widens the scope of the novel. And you did it in realistic dialogue. The meeting between Katherine and Mrs. Frost had some good tension in it, exemplified by that refusal of taking the offered hand. The teary eyed Mrs. Frost also pushes us to be sympathetic towards a complicated situation. Interesting chapter. estory

 Comment Written 01-Dec-2020


reply by the author on 05-Dec-2020
    Thank you for the kind review.
Comment from Elizabeth Emerald
Excellent
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Another delightful episode--spot-on snappy banter--their various interactions are brilliantly integrated with your masterful narration. Cute closing touch!

 Comment Written 30-Nov-2020


reply by the author on 05-Dec-2020
    Thank you for the kind review.
Comment from Ric Myworld
Excellent
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It's always nice to start my day off with time to read a few of my favorite authors on site, but this morning my diet is under siege thanks to that huge sandwich I can taste without touching. Thanks for sharing.

 Comment Written 30-Nov-2020


reply by the author on 05-Dec-2020
    Thank you for the kind review.
Comment from Iza Deleanu
Excellent
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Oh, man, poor woman, she needs to make her way through the craziness of this world, where sometimes man think they have the right to say shitty things, and there are others that are trying to do the right thing. Thank you for sharing and good luck with your writings.

 Comment Written 30-Nov-2020


reply by the author on 05-Dec-2020
    Thank you for the kind review.
Comment from w.j.debi
Excellent
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Overly protective or just concerned? Either way, Gabriel and Paul are endearing and it is a good thing they are around to help Katherine through this difficult time.
I sure wish I could get someone to bring me lunch, and such good ones too.

 Comment Written 29-Nov-2020


reply by the author on 05-Dec-2020
    Thank you for the kind review.
Comment from Jay Squires
Excellent
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Dang, that's a well-constructed story, Barbara. Your pace throughout is excellent, as are the continually evolving characters.

Just a few things, to bring your attention to:

Any way you can convince her to put only one [When you use "anyway" as a transition, combine them, followed by a comma.]

and he was discriminated against. [Shouldn't it be "and he felt he was discriminated against."?]

Thanks for entertaining me this Sunday afternoon.


 Comment Written 29-Nov-2020


reply by the author on 05-Dec-2020
    I am hoping the last suggestion, I was correcting as you were reading. I have that suggestion already made. I always appreciate the help. Any ideas on a good editor. I can't see to get in touch with the one I've used for years.
reply by Jay Squires on 05-Dec-2020
    I'll send you a private note on editorship.
Comment from AJ McCall
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level

Haha! That last part was hilarious! Loved the way Paul responded... "We heard that." Well, I'm glad Mrs. Frost came to make amends... turns out Mr. Frost has been turned down and his son too. His behavior makes sense. He needs help. I loved this chapter. I notice each seems to have a food theme along with it, lol. Pull pork, delicous!

 Comment Written 29-Nov-2020


reply by the author on 05-Dec-2020
    Thank you for the kind review.
reply by AJ McCall on 05-Dec-2020
    You're welcome!