Comment from Mastery

Excellent

Hello, Robert. Aalas, I am out of six stars but know that this writing certainly deserves one. the imagery used alone would qualify it for that. Like:

"I put my arm around her shoulder and guided her to a nearby table. "Calm down and take your time. There's no hurry." I took her hand in mine, and held it gently. "It looks as though you've had a nasty shock, but everything will be all right now. I promise."

And: ""Especially when you leave them on 'silent'." She gave me a playful nudge, an encouraging sign that she was beginning to recover her usual equilibrium."

Excellent writing, my friend. Bob

 Comment Written 08-Nov-2018

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reply by the author on 08-Nov-2018

Hi Bob. Thanks for your review and affirmation. I'm more aware of action tags now, and shall continue to play around with them. You are right about the way in which they enhance the dialogue. Best wishes, Tony

reply by Mastery on 08-Nov-2018

GOOD! I am so glad you have discovered the difference, Tony. Super. (let me know if i can be of any further help, my friend. It's the small things that account for writing that sparkles. Bob

Comment from Sankey

Excellent

Good chapter again. I do realize only Aussie readers will become totally involved in some of your, strictly in my opinion quite Aussie remarks as we go along. I have had some writers in here tell me I need to decide which audience ie Aussie or American I want to attract with my writing. I say "Bunkum" as I know Americans love how we Aussies write. haha loved this...stuffed up your jacksie.

 Comment Written 08-Nov-2018

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reply by the author on 08-Nov-2018

Thanks for the comments. This seems to be going down fairly well with the Americans at the moment, though some interpretation is necessary. I?m basically writing for a British and Australian audience though.

Comment from lyenochka

Excellent

Oh! Looks like we'll get into another story now. Whew! What a event-filled journey this has already been and now there's a story within a story. Great job in describing all the anxiety and stress and throwing some humor as well. It's good that Charles can afford so many expensive meals!

 Comment Written 08-Nov-2018

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reply by the author on 08-Nov-2018

Charles, as a very well known travel writer, seems to have few, if any, money worries. I wouldn?t be surprised if he had private means as well. I?m looking forward to finding out what?s in that journal. I hope he shares some of it with us!

Comment from Adri7enne

Excellent

Seems there's always an emergency of some kind to keep our characters busy. Not a whole lot of time for introspection. I hope Helen and Charles will get to spend time together so we can get to know the dynamics between them. Good writing, Tony.

 Comment Written 07-Nov-2018

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reply by the author on 07-Nov-2018

Thanks, Adrienne. It's possible that they might actually spend a bit more time together before much longer. I guess it all depends on what happens to Jeanne. They seem to have taken responsibility for her to some extent - or Helen has, at least.

Comment from Ulla

Excellent

Hi Tony, this is a great continuation to the story. Quite some suspense in this, but I still don't know if Charles is not taken for a ride by Helen. She seems to be genuine, but I have a nagging feeling. Well, I may be wrong. We'll see. Men can be so gullible. No hint here, by the way. All the best. Ulla:))

 Comment Written 07-Nov-2018

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reply by the author on 07-Nov-2018

Thanks, Ulla. Yes, there are still some reasons to doubt. I wonder if any of them will be resolved by the contents of the journal - or whether that will just make things worse.

Comment from Sally Law

Excellent

Dang it, no more sixes! That's right...I gave a least one to you this week. That should help ease your pain! You had a nice build up of suspense again! My favorite part is when Charles realizes cell phones are useless in an emergency. LOL! The journal at last! Will he be able to read it? I'll wait and watch...
All my best,
Sally

 Comment Written 07-Nov-2018

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reply by the author on 07-Nov-2018

Thanks, Sally. There may have been an autobiographical element in the cell phone scene! LOL

reply by Sally Law on 07-Nov-2018

I thought so!

Comment from krys123

Excellent

Cheers, Tony;
> What an event. Here they are escaping from the Mafia and trying to buy tickets while Jeanne' has an attack of some sort, which the first thing came to mind was poisoning of some sort by contact to another thing. Like the Russians do. Chuckle!
> It's funny to just happen the been a cancer surgeon right behind them in line who helps him to the hospital across the street and I thought that that was convenient. Maybe too convenient?
> I can't stand escargot and I tried it. I love garlic, but I couldn't stand the snail's Texture. Like any oysters, but not snails.
>I enjoyed reading your chapter and again I've always entertained by your unique style of writing.
> Thanks for sharing, Tony, take care and have a good one.
Alx

 Comment Written 07-Nov-2018

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reply by the author on 07-Nov-2018

Thanks, Alex. I tend to agree with you about the snails - a bit like eating a bit of gristle. Charles seems to like them though! Yes, I guess that poisoning is maybe a possibility. We'll probably have a better idea of what happened to Jeanne in a little while. As you say, she was lucky to be able to get such rapid medical assistance. All the best to you and your family, Tony

reply by krys123 on 08-Nov-2018

She was sure lucky. You're very welcome, Tony.
Alx

Comment from damommy

Excellent

I hope Charles shares what he reads. I'm dying to know what's to important about that journal. Is Jeanne epileptic or did she see something frightening? Only time will tell. Good writing!

 Comment Written 07-Nov-2018

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reply by the author on 07-Nov-2018

I sure hope that Charles shares some of the journal's contents with us. I have to admit that I'm a bit curious, too!

Comment from Dorothy Farrell

Exceptional

Hello Tony, I don't post as much on FS and never read the stories. I came on the site for the poetry and do not have time to read stories as I have other commitments, painting which pays so has precedence over poetry. But I hit on this portion of your story and really admire the way you write. I smile at your suggestive title - well it sounds suggestive to me! In this chapter you really, successfully draw out the suspense without being boring - I was dying to know what had happened to Jeanne and it kept me reading, measure of a good writer. Your descriptive prose, the restaurant, etc. is wonderful. You paint a picture with words. It made me peep in to your initial posting of this story. Really lovely - I can see I've been missing out on a good one. Must remedy. You describe Paris beautifully. I've been there in April, with chestnuts in blossom, just like in the song. Lovely place - Lovely writing. Deserving of my last 6. Dorothy

 Comment Written 07-Nov-2018

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reply by the author on 07-Nov-2018

Thank you so much for dropping by to review, Dorothy, and for the six stars. Very much appreciated. I know exactly what you mean about time allocation! I scarcely ever use to read or review the prose on site, except the occasional flash fiction. However, now that I'm writing this, I find I need to do quite a bit of reciprocal reviewing to get the feedback I'm after. It takes a lot more time, and it's quite hard to find a balance between reviewing and actually writing the story. Nonetheless, the motivation of having people read and respond to it is largely what is keeping me going. I've never attempted a novel before.
We were in Paris in July for a few days on our way back home from an extended holiday visiting my daughter in New York and various nieces and nephews in UK. I hadn't been there for many years. It was a real treat. All the best, Tony

Comment from estory

Excellent

Well Jeanne is laid up at the hospital, which is a hiccup in their plans, and an opening for the Mafia to make their move. You have set this up for some kind of intervention on their part, and more adventure in trying to escape their clutches. The travel writer comes out again as he sits in the restaurant after leaving Helen at the hospital, reading the menu, contemplating his garlic butter escargot with wine and fine linen under the chandeliers. That lingering kiss kept the romance side going between Charles and Helen. Travel, adventure, crowded railroad stations, intrigue and suspense combine with side dishes of romance in this chapter. a complicated mix, but it will be interesting to see where this goes. estory

 Comment Written 07-Nov-2018

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reply by the author on 07-Nov-2018

Thanks very much for this review, estory, and for your comments. There are one or two things being set up in this chapter. Glad you enjoyed it. All the best, Tony