Perennials of War
Viewing comments for Chapter 13 "Chapter Funf part eine"Is Anderson a gallant knight? Can he recover Shan
35 total reviews
Comment from Gypsy Blue Rose
I like your story. It's very contemporary and I like thriller/romance type of novels. It's scary because it can be true. I understand why Shana changed her mind.
reply by the author on 04-Feb-2017
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I like your story. It's very contemporary and I like thriller/romance type of novels. It's scary because it can be true. I understand why Shana changed her mind.
Comment Written 30-Jan-2017
reply by the author on 04-Feb-2017
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Thank you for the kind review.
Comment from Sis Cat
Because of Russian meddling in US elections, this chapter about the Russian mafia resonated with me. I feel frightened of them because I feel this is happening in the real world. I can see why Shana wants to back out of her quest to find the answers:
"If I forget about the painting, will he leave us alone?" asked Shana. "No painting is worth all this. I just want to go home."
No dice here, Shana, your story will go on.
Insert blank line below, "Philip stood, but with eyebrows raised and looked at Jane."
Thank you for sharing your dark romantic adventure which feels truer everyday.
reply by the author on 04-Feb-2017
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Because of Russian meddling in US elections, this chapter about the Russian mafia resonated with me. I feel frightened of them because I feel this is happening in the real world. I can see why Shana wants to back out of her quest to find the answers:
"If I forget about the painting, will he leave us alone?" asked Shana. "No painting is worth all this. I just want to go home."
No dice here, Shana, your story will go on.
Insert blank line below, "Philip stood, but with eyebrows raised and looked at Jane."
Thank you for sharing your dark romantic adventure which feels truer everyday.
Comment Written 30-Jan-2017
reply by the author on 04-Feb-2017
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Thank you for the kind review. I made the correction.
Comment from Sankey
Good reading, once more. So glad I don't have to count spags as I am on my Mobile(cell for you) at the moment. Plot certainly getting even thicker with all the Mafiosi. Still got me glued 100% for sure. Thanks again!
reply by the author on 04-Feb-2017
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Good reading, once more. So glad I don't have to count spags as I am on my Mobile(cell for you) at the moment. Plot certainly getting even thicker with all the Mafiosi. Still got me glued 100% for sure. Thanks again!
Comment Written 29-Jan-2017
reply by the author on 04-Feb-2017
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Thank you for the kind review. I understand. It's hard to correct errors on a phone.
Comment from Thal1959
Fairly well written, though I didn't get too much into it. I suppose it is because I haven't seen any of the previous chapters. This chapter is well written with only a few minor mistakes. 1) "She placed it in front of Philip and sat." This line is ambiguous; she sat where? Sat on what? Sat near whom? Naturally, you don't mean she sat on the floor or in Philip's lap - but that's why it is ambiguous; the reader can't visualize what she did or whether her orientation to any of the characters is important. 2) "With a nodded Philip answered the elevator door." A simple typo as I assume you meant "nod" not "nodded." It should also be paused with a comma - "With a nod(,) Philip answered the elevator door."
Other than these two small things, everything is OK.
reply by the author on 29-Jan-2017
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Fairly well written, though I didn't get too much into it. I suppose it is because I haven't seen any of the previous chapters. This chapter is well written with only a few minor mistakes. 1) "She placed it in front of Philip and sat." This line is ambiguous; she sat where? Sat on what? Sat near whom? Naturally, you don't mean she sat on the floor or in Philip's lap - but that's why it is ambiguous; the reader can't visualize what she did or whether her orientation to any of the characters is important. 2) "With a nodded Philip answered the elevator door." A simple typo as I assume you meant "nod" not "nodded." It should also be paused with a comma - "With a nod(,) Philip answered the elevator door."
Other than these two small things, everything is OK.
Comment Written 29-Jan-2017
reply by the author on 29-Jan-2017
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I fixed those two errors. Thank you for the help.
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Thanks for understanding. Everything is fine now.
Comment from Ric Myworld
Thanks for the pleasure of reading another of your fine chapters. It appears that Shana is beginning to fit in quite nicely into Drew's day to day life. LOL! Great job. :-)
reply by the author on 29-Jan-2017
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Thanks for the pleasure of reading another of your fine chapters. It appears that Shana is beginning to fit in quite nicely into Drew's day to day life. LOL! Great job. :-)
Comment Written 29-Jan-2017
reply by the author on 29-Jan-2017
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Thank you for the kind review.
Comment from judiverse
I can hardly wait to read these. If the Russian mafia is involved, that is bad news. I don't blame Shana for thinking the painting isn't worth all the trouble she's been having. Another reference to Anderson' ex-wife. She must be something else. The daughter would probably be better off with him. Jane is some shopper. I wish she'd do some for me, given what she was probably allowed to spend on Shana's clothes. Great with this. I love how you flesh the story out with great details about the characters, etc. The tattoos help make the Russian guy sound very powerful. judi
reply by the author on 29-Jan-2017
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I can hardly wait to read these. If the Russian mafia is involved, that is bad news. I don't blame Shana for thinking the painting isn't worth all the trouble she's been having. Another reference to Anderson' ex-wife. She must be something else. The daughter would probably be better off with him. Jane is some shopper. I wish she'd do some for me, given what she was probably allowed to spend on Shana's clothes. Great with this. I love how you flesh the story out with great details about the characters, etc. The tattoos help make the Russian guy sound very powerful. judi
Comment Written 29-Jan-2017
reply by the author on 29-Jan-2017
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Thank you for the encouragement.
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You're welcome. This is really coming along great. Are you sure you aren't a wealthy person with servants and living in a penthouse? Seems to real. judi
Comment from Sasha
Now this is getting scary. No one wants to mess with the Russian mob...no matter which one they are. I agree, if it were me I'd find a way to get the news out that I no longer want anything to do with the painting...of course, they wouldn't listen. This is really getting good. I cannot wait until you post the next chapter.
reply by the author on 29-Jan-2017
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Now this is getting scary. No one wants to mess with the Russian mob...no matter which one they are. I agree, if it were me I'd find a way to get the news out that I no longer want anything to do with the painting...of course, they wouldn't listen. This is really getting good. I cannot wait until you post the next chapter.
Comment Written 29-Jan-2017
reply by the author on 29-Jan-2017
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Thank you for the encouragement.
Comment from c_lucas
When a man is in emotional trouble, there is usually a woman involved. With drew is is two women; an ex-wife and a young woman in deep political trouble. This is well written.
reply by the author on 29-Jan-2017
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When a man is in emotional trouble, there is usually a woman involved. With drew is is two women; an ex-wife and a young woman in deep political trouble. This is well written.
Comment Written 29-Jan-2017
reply by the author on 29-Jan-2017
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Thank you for the kind review.
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You're welcome, Barbara. Charlie
Comment from Phyllis Stewart
What does his exwife have to do with anything, I wonder, and why would Jane tell Shana about her? Is she involved in the quest for the painting or with the mafia? Guess I'll find out. :)
reply by the author on 29-Jan-2017
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What does his exwife have to do with anything, I wonder, and why would Jane tell Shana about her? Is she involved in the quest for the painting or with the mafia? Guess I'll find out. :)
Comment Written 29-Jan-2017
reply by the author on 29-Jan-2017
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She does have a purpose but we will have to wait and see. Thank you for the kind review.
Comment from bookishfabler
"I didn't see this myself but it's reported that Kuznetsov has stars tattooed on his knees and his shoulders." Ah, that picture of hottie is the Russian. I thought it was Anderson. Yummy)
Emily -- Anderson's (five-year-old) daughter
In the character descriptions. Great job. Thanks.
Hugs Heidi
reply by the author on 29-Jan-2017
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"I didn't see this myself but it's reported that Kuznetsov has stars tattooed on his knees and his shoulders." Ah, that picture of hottie is the Russian. I thought it was Anderson. Yummy)
Emily -- Anderson's (five-year-old) daughter
In the character descriptions. Great job. Thanks.
Hugs Heidi
Comment Written 29-Jan-2017
reply by the author on 29-Jan-2017
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Thank you for the kind review. I will fix the character list.