The Incomparable Fanny Barnwarmer
Viewing comments for Chapter 10 "Incomparable Fanny Barnwarmer 10"America's First Female Comic
28 total reviews
Comment from Liz O'Neill
Why do I get such a big smile???***
Great character direction, makes it even more enjoyable: "(her movements describe him in dramatic pantomime)" So Daddy spoke on n on for nuthin'? whaaaat. Tipcal tho, fer sher. Same thing hapnin' with the dijinus peple. Racist. Great expression: " An alls the reporters, theys mouths be hangin' to theys chests, too" This reminds me of a saying you certainly would love to use: "Crank your neck in." Isn't that great. What an ending....grrrr But I have to give all this anuther A+
reply by the author on 22-May-2022
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Why do I get such a big smile???***
Great character direction, makes it even more enjoyable: "(her movements describe him in dramatic pantomime)" So Daddy spoke on n on for nuthin'? whaaaat. Tipcal tho, fer sher. Same thing hapnin' with the dijinus peple. Racist. Great expression: " An alls the reporters, theys mouths be hangin' to theys chests, too" This reminds me of a saying you certainly would love to use: "Crank your neck in." Isn't that great. What an ending....grrrr But I have to give all this anuther A+
Comment Written 22-May-2022
reply by the author on 22-May-2022
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Liz, you are so freaking sweet. Thank you for your kind, enthusiastic words. They mean so much. And the six stars... whoa! And "crank your neck in". I hadn't heard that before. Would it be used for a person who has just "craned his neck"? Don't be surprised, though, if Fanny'd heard of it. Love ya!
Jay
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yuh. they craned their neck, kinda nosey-like...I will love to hear Fanny use that...I look forwad to it. I used to teach in a Appalachian like school in Vermont...omg ....let me give you some more fodder
'you stop runnin' yer mouth'
or I'll 'knock ya up side the head'
"he hit me through the face"... now I tried to picture what that would look like
***
there are more but this is enough
Comment from Terry Broxson
I had to use up my sixes for a contest I created about Grandkids, but the whole script is a six! Now how does it go from here? Well, when I had that problem, I drew a picture of a big fish. I am thinking ole Jay is going to be more creative than that! Outstanding work. Terry.
reply by the author on 22-May-2022
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I had to use up my sixes for a contest I created about Grandkids, but the whole script is a six! Now how does it go from here? Well, when I had that problem, I drew a picture of a big fish. I am thinking ole Jay is going to be more creative than that! Outstanding work. Terry.
Comment Written 22-May-2022
reply by the author on 22-May-2022
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Terry, never, never, never, NEVER worry about sixes. Your presence here is what counts. Thank you for that. This play is an odd duck. The climax came with Flourney's death. All that followed was iteration and the long, long tail of back story. My ONLY plan now is to tie up all the loose ends: that is, answer all the as-yet unanswered questions of how the 14-year-old Fanny connects with the 5-year-old Juniper and the two become driven to follow Flourney to Brady, Texas, where the drama began. Clearly, this should have been written as a novel, not a play.
Comment from Ric Myworld
I don't read many scripts and haven't been around for but one other scene of this one, sorry to say. But as always, your superb character building is a lesson in itself. And please don't take this disrespectfully, as it certainly isn't meant that way. My compliments on your profile picture, the dashing cowboy in shirt and tie, and the beautiful bride, daughter, or ravishing angel at your side. LOL. Both your script and the happy picture are worth visiting your page. Thanks for sharing.
reply by the author on 22-May-2022
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I don't read many scripts and haven't been around for but one other scene of this one, sorry to say. But as always, your superb character building is a lesson in itself. And please don't take this disrespectfully, as it certainly isn't meant that way. My compliments on your profile picture, the dashing cowboy in shirt and tie, and the beautiful bride, daughter, or ravishing angel at your side. LOL. Both your script and the happy picture are worth visiting your page. Thanks for sharing.
Comment Written 22-May-2022
reply by the author on 22-May-2022
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Hahaha, I do look rather lecherous, don't I? My daughter and I were stationed at the same table for my granddaughter's outdoor wedding. You were worried about being disrespectful? You should be a politician! LOL. Thanks so much, Ric, for your lovely review.
Comment from Shirley McLain
I think the memory of a 14 year old girl can be believed. I continue to love the story and I am ready to read more. Great job. Have a wonderful Sunday. Shirley
reply by the author on 22-May-2022
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I think the memory of a 14 year old girl can be believed. I continue to love the story and I am ready to read more. Great job. Have a wonderful Sunday. Shirley
Comment Written 22-May-2022
reply by the author on 22-May-2022
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You are so sweet, Shirley. Thank you for taking the time to read it and for your kind words. And a six star to boot! I feel indeed blessed!
Comment from John Ciarmello
Ahh! Spectacular my friend! I forgot that he was allegedly unconscious for the lynching. What a great way to leave this with it all riding on a fourteen-year old's testimony. I can't wait to see where this is going. Great Job, Jay. Best, JohnC
reply by the author on 22-May-2022
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Ahh! Spectacular my friend! I forgot that he was allegedly unconscious for the lynching. What a great way to leave this with it all riding on a fourteen-year old's testimony. I can't wait to see where this is going. Great Job, Jay. Best, JohnC
Comment Written 22-May-2022
reply by the author on 22-May-2022
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Oh, John, thank you so much for your kindness and the staggering six stars! If you choose to continue on, the next scene will be much less taxing, being less reliant on Fanny's dialect. I can't tell you how privileged I feel that you've been with me on this for so long!
Jay
Comment from BethShelby
This story isn't nearly over as I see by the fact you are calling for an intermission. I can't imagine where it will go from here because it seems the reporter is about to take his leave without have a story that he can report and thinks people will believe. I be waiting for whatever is next.
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reply by the author on 22-May-2022
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This story isn't nearly over as I see by the fact you are calling for an intermission. I can't imagine where it will go from here because it seems the reporter is about to take his leave without have a story that he can report and thinks people will believe. I be waiting for whatever is next.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 22-May-2022
reply by the author on 22-May-2022
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Hey, Beth. Thank you so much for being with me on this for so long. It's true that the reporter is about to take his leave, but I know his boss. And besides, I control the train schedule. LOL. Again, Beth, thanks.
Comment from Sandra Stoner-Mitchell
Unfortunately, that's true. So Fanny is stuck in a situation that her father found himself in. No one will ever know the truth about that snake in the grass, Thurston Flourney, and poor Juniper gets her own justice and goes to prison for the rest of her life. Justice? Ha! I would have done the same and murdered the coward, and his cronies, myself. This is a wonderful chapter in this incredible script, Jay. Well done!! :)) Sandra xx
reply by the author on 22-May-2022
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Unfortunately, that's true. So Fanny is stuck in a situation that her father found himself in. No one will ever know the truth about that snake in the grass, Thurston Flourney, and poor Juniper gets her own justice and goes to prison for the rest of her life. Justice? Ha! I would have done the same and murdered the coward, and his cronies, myself. This is a wonderful chapter in this incredible script, Jay. Well done!! :)) Sandra xx
Comment Written 22-May-2022
reply by the author on 22-May-2022
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Sandra, thank you so much for your take on my play. Yeah, that Thurston is a piece of work, isn't he? Fanny's Father is the real tragedy in this play, I feel. He seems controlled by the fates.
Comment from tfawcus
Having established the extent of the miscarriage of justice and disregard for court procedures, you've dropped a bombshell at the end. Surely there must be a way to bring the truth out. Maybe the reporter could prevail upon a famous playwright to write a Broadway hit! LOL
reply by the author on 22-May-2022
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Having established the extent of the miscarriage of justice and disregard for court procedures, you've dropped a bombshell at the end. Surely there must be a way to bring the truth out. Maybe the reporter could prevail upon a famous playwright to write a Broadway hit! LOL
Comment Written 22-May-2022
reply by the author on 22-May-2022
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The truth should come out in dribbles and drabs and leave a puddle of it on the stage as the final curtain comes down. This play doesn't follow the rules of drama. Thank you for your continued kindness over it, and of course the six stars.