The Incomparable Fanny Barnwarmer
Viewing comments for Chapter 5 "Incomparable Fanny Barnwarmer #5"America's First Female Comic
33 total reviews
Comment from John Ciarmello
Loved it, Jay. A great scene. You handle Fanny's dialect with such professionalism. It puts me in anticipation of her next words. She is quite a character. I'm working on catching up. I believe I may have missed a few earlier acts. I'm working on it! Great stuff.
reply by the author on 05-Apr-2022
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Loved it, Jay. A great scene. You handle Fanny's dialect with such professionalism. It puts me in anticipation of her next words. She is quite a character. I'm working on catching up. I believe I may have missed a few earlier acts. I'm working on it! Great stuff.
Comment Written 03-Apr-2022
reply by the author on 05-Apr-2022
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Thank you, John, for again reading my play. you shouldn't have to read the previously unread scenes. Just brush up on the summaries I place at the beginning. That should get you up to speed. That's unless you feel you can gain something by reading the content. Meanwhile, your kindness and reward of stars is heartfelt.
Comment from Ulla
How, wonderful is this, Jay. I absolutely love it. That woman is as feisty as ever, but she also keeps some truths close to her bussom. We are touching a very difficult and problematic time of the American past. Ulla:)))
reply by the author on 03-Apr-2022
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How, wonderful is this, Jay. I absolutely love it. That woman is as feisty as ever, but she also keeps some truths close to her bussom. We are touching a very difficult and problematic time of the American past. Ulla:)))
Comment Written 03-Apr-2022
reply by the author on 03-Apr-2022
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You are so kind. But I have grown to accept that from you. I'm glad you brought up that part about Fanny that she is not too anxious to have revealed. It's who she is, for sure. Bless you for the sixer!
Comment from Annmuma
"Eighty-five-year-old woman with plenty of spark and sizzle still in her." I love this description -- a goal to aspire to! lol
The setting, all of the intro, sets the mood for the reader. the dialogue is natural, believable and illustrative. I was involved right to the last line AND the last line made me eager for the next chapter. Excellent work. ann
reply by the author on 03-Apr-2022
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"Eighty-five-year-old woman with plenty of spark and sizzle still in her." I love this description -- a goal to aspire to! lol
The setting, all of the intro, sets the mood for the reader. the dialogue is natural, believable and illustrative. I was involved right to the last line AND the last line made me eager for the next chapter. Excellent work. ann
Comment Written 03-Apr-2022
reply by the author on 03-Apr-2022
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Thank you, Ann. I am so pleased you are enjoying my play. You've been here for the entirety and I appreciate it.
Jay
Comment from nomi338
When someone is committed to performing what they consider to be a righteous act, dissuading them can be most difficult. This is especially true if within your own heart you agree with the reason for the act. You did a wonderful job of leading the reader up to the point of tension when the writer comes to the shocking conclusions he arrives at.
reply by the author on 03-Apr-2022
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When someone is committed to performing what they consider to be a righteous act, dissuading them can be most difficult. This is especially true if within your own heart you agree with the reason for the act. You did a wonderful job of leading the reader up to the point of tension when the writer comes to the shocking conclusions he arrives at.
Comment Written 03-Apr-2022
reply by the author on 03-Apr-2022
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Nolan, you are so kind to have read each of my scenes in this play and commented from your heart on them. I appreciate your being here for me, Sir!
Comment from RGstar
One thing I'll say first Jay:
Balance the accents so as not to have the reader concentrating on words and what is being said, rather than just have it in mind as natural, and so whiz through, experiencing the charm of the Southern accent attached to the characters...and brilliant it is. I felt it was right on the borders, as sometimes I had to stop and re-read. One has to concentrate (the unconscious mind) on the narrative...the accent should fall straight in, hardly noticeable, until the odd one-liner or the bits the audience will find funny or tragic, depending on the emotion of the character...but all naturally.
Having said that. This is just genius work. Natural and purposeful, the reader believe themselves in place, room, era and time, for so well is this written.
This is becoming a piece of work that I actually find joy in going to, before knowing what is on the agenda. Its becoming a favorite piece for me. Just writing at its best...just try to keep the accent balanced...not too thick.
I believe this would be a good seller if was a book. Just intriguing so far...the emotions and focus in a good place.
Have a good weekend Jay.
My best.
RG
reply by the author on 03-Apr-2022
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One thing I'll say first Jay:
Balance the accents so as not to have the reader concentrating on words and what is being said, rather than just have it in mind as natural, and so whiz through, experiencing the charm of the Southern accent attached to the characters...and brilliant it is. I felt it was right on the borders, as sometimes I had to stop and re-read. One has to concentrate (the unconscious mind) on the narrative...the accent should fall straight in, hardly noticeable, until the odd one-liner or the bits the audience will find funny or tragic, depending on the emotion of the character...but all naturally.
Having said that. This is just genius work. Natural and purposeful, the reader believe themselves in place, room, era and time, for so well is this written.
This is becoming a piece of work that I actually find joy in going to, before knowing what is on the agenda. Its becoming a favorite piece for me. Just writing at its best...just try to keep the accent balanced...not too thick.
I believe this would be a good seller if was a book. Just intriguing so far...the emotions and focus in a good place.
Have a good weekend Jay.
My best.
RG
Comment Written 03-Apr-2022
reply by the author on 03-Apr-2022
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RG, everything you said about the accent is true. Much of it is forced. There is often little consistency between the same word in one sentence and another. Once you get on the accent trolley, it's hard to jump off. Unfortunately at this stage of the game, it's difficult to dial back. I will never write a long piece with this brand of thick accent again. I do thank you for the other high compliments, friend; they touch me; they buoy me up in spite of all else.
Comment from Terry Broxson
I liked this scene, so it appears that Juniper does not take the rap for Fanny, but makes her an accessory. How does she get out that? I like the way you are developing your characters, even Juniper and she is dead. Good work. Tery.
reply by the author on 03-Apr-2022
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I liked this scene, so it appears that Juniper does not take the rap for Fanny, but makes her an accessory. How does she get out that? I like the way you are developing your characters, even Juniper and she is dead. Good work. Tery.
Comment Written 03-Apr-2022
reply by the author on 03-Apr-2022
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Now you confuse me. Do you have only one R in your first name? I'll try to work out the complications about Fanny and Juniper. Thank you so much for the six stars, Tery/Terry, and your kindness.
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LOL, an example of my expert typing ability! Terry.
Comment from Shirley McLain
I like your storyline, and plan to keep following until its conclusion. You did an excellent job, and I didn't see any mistakes. Have a wonderful Sunday. Shirley
reply by the author on 03-Apr-2022
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I like your storyline, and plan to keep following until its conclusion. You did an excellent job, and I didn't see any mistakes. Have a wonderful Sunday. Shirley
Comment Written 03-Apr-2022
reply by the author on 03-Apr-2022
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Thank you, Shirley. I appreciate your commitment and I hope I will be able to draw it to a satisfying conclusion within the next few scenes.
Comment from tfawcus
A splendid continuation of this fascinating tale. I had to look up stickyberry crullers. I can't imagine how I have survived for more than three-quarters o a century without them!
I love the way the reporter gradually finesses the information from Fanny. The dramatic tension between the two of them is marvellous.
reply by the author on 03-Apr-2022
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A splendid continuation of this fascinating tale. I had to look up stickyberry crullers. I can't imagine how I have survived for more than three-quarters o a century without them!
I love the way the reporter gradually finesses the information from Fanny. The dramatic tension between the two of them is marvellous.
Comment Written 03-Apr-2022
reply by the author on 03-Apr-2022
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Don't put too much stock in stickyberry crullers. I made it up. I'm so gratified that you feel the tension between the reporter and Fanny. He is definitely a devise in the play whose sole existence is to keep the plot moving forward. Once again, my dear friend, your support and kindness and the explosion of stars is SOOO appreciated.
Comment from country ranch writer
Fanny and the reporter was doing the interview for his article.she was making sure it was was answered right trying to gather information on why The reporter needed to confirm it was truthful. Fanny was going to b be going to jail because she too was involved Malibu her just as guilty and she didn't lift a finger to try to stop her.
reply by the author on 03-Apr-2022
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Fanny and the reporter was doing the interview for his article.she was making sure it was was answered right trying to gather information on why The reporter needed to confirm it was truthful. Fanny was going to b be going to jail because she too was involved Malibu her just as guilty and she didn't lift a finger to try to stop her.
Comment Written 03-Apr-2022
reply by the author on 03-Apr-2022
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Thank you, B J, reading my play and giving it such "high marks" with your six stars. I hope you continue on reading my play to its conclusion. You are appreciated.
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Hugs have a good day . Will be readingmireofyourtale.
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Hugs have a good day . Will be readingmireofyourtale.
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Hugs have a good day . Will be readingmireofyourtale.
Comment from country ranch writer
Fanny and the reporter was doing the interview for his article.she was making sure it was was answered right trying to gather information on why The reporter needed to confirm it was truthful. Fanny was going to b be going to jail because she too was involved Malibu her just as guilty and she didn't lift a finger to try to stop her.
reply by the author on 03-Apr-2022
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Fanny and the reporter was doing the interview for his article.she was making sure it was was answered right trying to gather information on why The reporter needed to confirm it was truthful. Fanny was going to b be going to jail because she too was involved Malibu her just as guilty and she didn't lift a finger to try to stop her.
Comment Written 03-Apr-2022
reply by the author on 03-Apr-2022
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I think there has been a bit of a snafu since your review was entered twice. Hmmm. I hope it didn't cost you two sixes!
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It repeats itself don?t know why.