Quiet Lawyer
Viewing comments for Chapter 10 "Quiet Lawyer Chapter 7B"Can a broken heart be mended?
31 total reviews
Comment from Judy Lawless
This is a nice chapter with Ali and Cordero getting to know a little bit more about each other. Still, Ali is afraid to open up about her past boyfriend. And I too wonder what Pat was doing there. I look forward to finding out more about these things, and how the dancing goes.
I noticed a couple of little typos:
"teased Alexandra as she motioning(motioned or was motioning) for Sarah"
"Cordero cut part of his salmon and move(d) it to Alexandra's plate."
"I have a feeling(;) she'll find a spot for at least one bite." - no semi-colon required. Probably a slip of a finger :)
reply by the author on 13-Mar-2022
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This is a nice chapter with Ali and Cordero getting to know a little bit more about each other. Still, Ali is afraid to open up about her past boyfriend. And I too wonder what Pat was doing there. I look forward to finding out more about these things, and how the dancing goes.
I noticed a couple of little typos:
"teased Alexandra as she motioning(motioned or was motioning) for Sarah"
"Cordero cut part of his salmon and move(d) it to Alexandra's plate."
"I have a feeling(;) she'll find a spot for at least one bite." - no semi-colon required. Probably a slip of a finger :)
Comment Written 12-Mar-2022
reply by the author on 13-Mar-2022
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Thank you for the catches. I have made the corrections.
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You're welcome, Barbara.
Comment from RGstar
A really good chapter. I was just thinking, yes, maybe time to start finding out about the disappearing wildstock, as to really see the direction of the book. The dialogues at dinner was excellent.
Good chapter.
Best wishes.
RG
reply by the author on 12-Mar-2022
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A really good chapter. I was just thinking, yes, maybe time to start finding out about the disappearing wildstock, as to really see the direction of the book. The dialogues at dinner was excellent.
Good chapter.
Best wishes.
RG
Comment Written 12-Mar-2022
reply by the author on 12-Mar-2022
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We will soon hear more about the bulls. They do show up. Thank you for the kind review.
Comment from Anne Johnston
Enjoyed reading this posting. You are building up the mystery of the missing stock, and Cord and Ali are getting to know one another better. Sounds like Ali's former boyfriend is making an appearance. Will be waiting for next week's episode.
reply by the author on 12-Mar-2022
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Enjoyed reading this posting. You are building up the mystery of the missing stock, and Cord and Ali are getting to know one another better. Sounds like Ali's former boyfriend is making an appearance. Will be waiting for next week's episode.
Comment Written 12-Mar-2022
reply by the author on 12-Mar-2022
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Pat is not her former boyfriend but a pain in the you know where. LOL Thank you for the kind review.
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Sorry, guess I just assumed it.
Comment from BethShelby
I enjoyed reading about the date. It seems the people all know Cord and don't hesitate to interrupt him with question about their animals or whatever. Alexander is concerned because she saw Pat there and wonders why.
reply by the author on 12-Mar-2022
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I enjoyed reading about the date. It seems the people all know Cord and don't hesitate to interrupt him with question about their animals or whatever. Alexander is concerned because she saw Pat there and wonders why.
Comment Written 12-Mar-2022
reply by the author on 12-Mar-2022
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She has a reason to be worried about Pat. Thank you for the kind review.
Comment from Ulla
Well, that was another great chapter, Barbara, and they had a good meal at the restaurant, although I have to admit that Alexander's indecisiveness was dragged out a bit too much.
Other than that, I enjoyed the reading. But what is Pat doing there?
he's ransacking (the) garbage cans. Ulla:)))
reply by the author on 12-Mar-2022
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Well, that was another great chapter, Barbara, and they had a good meal at the restaurant, although I have to admit that Alexander's indecisiveness was dragged out a bit too much.
Other than that, I enjoyed the reading. But what is Pat doing there?
he's ransacking (the) garbage cans. Ulla:)))
Comment Written 12-Mar-2022
reply by the author on 12-Mar-2022
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I wondered about that, but wasn't sure how to lessen it and still show it effectively. I will take another look. Thank you for the kind review.
Comment from Begin Again
Other than the dinner menu made me hungry, the chapter was perfect with Alexandra and Cord. Though I am assuming Pat is following them for some reason, most likely trouble. Will he show up when they are dancing? I am voting yes.
Smiles. Carol
reply by the author on 12-Mar-2022
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Other than the dinner menu made me hungry, the chapter was perfect with Alexandra and Cord. Though I am assuming Pat is following them for some reason, most likely trouble. Will he show up when they are dancing? I am voting yes.
Smiles. Carol
Comment Written 12-Mar-2022
reply by the author on 12-Mar-2022
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You are correct, but what will he do? Hmm? This is going to get even better when I get to chapter 8. Thank you for sharing. I'm praying for you and have noticed your absence.
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Rough seas at the moment and I thank you for noticing and of curse for the thoughts and prayers. My cousin lost her husband last week and stopped eating, etc and lost track of herself.... She's currently living with me but constantly reminds me she wants to go home. Nothing against me but she wants her home. I don't have control of what happens...someone else has the power of attorney so I do what I can. Kaitlyn has been released from the pschyc unit and they wanted her to come here but I declined. So of course, I am bad. Not the environment for writing and I so want to find me again.
Comment from nomi338
This chapter is so well written that not only did I feel that I was there at the table I could almost smell and taste the food. Salmon is one of my favorite types of fish. I am not much of a steak and potatoes man, but I do love Salmon. Like Ali, I am now wondering why Pay was there and what is he up to?
reply by the author on 12-Mar-2022
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This chapter is so well written that not only did I feel that I was there at the table I could almost smell and taste the food. Salmon is one of my favorite types of fish. I am not much of a steak and potatoes man, but I do love Salmon. Like Ali, I am now wondering why Pay was there and what is he up to?
Comment Written 12-Mar-2022
reply by the author on 12-Mar-2022
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We will discover more about Pat, very soon. LOL Thank you for the kind review.
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My pleasure.
Comment from robyn corum
Barb! My buddy!
It feels like ten years since I've reviewed you on here. Man, I'm so behind. But this was really nice. Just like you and I fell right in. These two seem like a sweet couple just starting out and learning each other. Lovely!
Notes:
1.) "Yes, but there's no way I can (eat) all this."
2.) "The verdict(')s still out," teased Alexandra
3.) After Sarah brought the plate, Alexand(ra) cut her steak
Thanks so much!
reply by the author on 12-Mar-2022
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Barb! My buddy!
It feels like ten years since I've reviewed you on here. Man, I'm so behind. But this was really nice. Just like you and I fell right in. These two seem like a sweet couple just starting out and learning each other. Lovely!
Notes:
1.) "Yes, but there's no way I can (eat) all this."
2.) "The verdict(')s still out," teased Alexandra
3.) After Sarah brought the plate, Alexand(ra) cut her steak
Thanks so much!
Comment Written 12-Mar-2022
reply by the author on 12-Mar-2022
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Thank you for the catches. I have made the corrects, as usual they were silly mistakes. I have a slight bit of news. Hallmark Publishing has opened up submissions to un-agented work this month. I am submitting the Jewish Artwork novel. My formal agent, who had disappeared off the face of the Earth, said she thought it would be a good fit and was going to move forward. Please prayers are needed here.
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AWESOME!!!! I'm doing the happy dance for you! We both know your writing is of high enough caliber. Go, girl!!!
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To be perfectly honest, I am scared, but if I don't go for it, I'll never know. I am a little worried about the violence, there's nothing graphic, but still a little.
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I have a friend. He was a member here for a while. He and I stay in contact and talk a lot by email.
Recently -- but before I started work on your book -- he asked me to edit a short story of his that he was submitting to a certain contest. Sure. No problem. It was about 18-20 pages long.
So I 'edited' the story and then had to break it to him that nothing about the piece matched his tagline - that this was a story about his relationship with God as he grew into an adult.
He had mentioned God on pages 1, 4, and 20.
So, he went back in and edited. The timeline for the contest was coming up, so I didn't get to see the finished result.
A couple months later, he forwarded an email to me. It said, sadly, that he had not won or placed in the contest. BUT that he had been awarded a 'New Voices' accolade and was up for that prize. WHAT???
The point is - you will never achieve anything if you don't put your work out there. It may or may not be the right spot. Who cares? If it's not, you'll take it somewhere else. NOT put it in a shoebox under the bed. Who knows what's waiting for you??? Go forth and find thyself!
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Thank you. I was getting it ready to present it to a different publishing company and as I was ready to send it off, I said, why don't I just check with Hallmark one more time. That was March first, that's when their submissions opened up. WOW!
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Can anyone say 'Fate?' hahaha Of course, if that doesn't work, you'll have other choices. GO!
Comment from K.L. Rockquemore
I enjoyed reading this post. The photo of the rib eye steak works well here. Your writing seems like that of a seasoned writer. I wonder how long you have been writing. As a new writer and a new member to this site, I have enjoyed reading works from all genres.
reply by the author on 12-Mar-2022
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I enjoyed reading this post. The photo of the rib eye steak works well here. Your writing seems like that of a seasoned writer. I wonder how long you have been writing. As a new writer and a new member to this site, I have enjoyed reading works from all genres.
Comment Written 12-Mar-2022
reply by the author on 12-Mar-2022
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Thank you for the encouragement. I have been writing a while and have had two books published. Good luck and keep writing.
Comment from Shirley McLain
Loved the chapters usual. Pat seemed to have added some tension in Ali. You did an excellent job. I did find you left out a word, and that was it. Enjoy your trip and seeing your son. Shirley
Yes, but there's no way I (eat) can all this."
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
reply by the author on 12-Mar-2022
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Loved the chapters usual. Pat seemed to have added some tension in Ali. You did an excellent job. I did find you left out a word, and that was it. Enjoy your trip and seeing your son. Shirley
Yes, but there's no way I (eat) can all this."
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 12-Mar-2022
reply by the author on 12-Mar-2022
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I tend to leave out words. When I edit, I read as if that word is present. LOL Silly me. Thank you for the catch and I will fix it.
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I totally understand. I do the same thing. It's like reading misspelled words you just read through.