Football - A Novel
Viewing comments for Chapter 22 "Football Chapter 11 part 2"A mother faces life's struggles.
24 total reviews
Comment from Sandra Stoner-Mitchell
Another excellent chapter, Barbara. I picked up a few nits, which is very unusual for you. But, take a look. Well done, my friend. I do enjoy this story. :)) Sandra xx
I wasn't sure about this sentence, it reads like she's saying it might have gone off....
"I'm using your mom's left over coleslaw. I hope it's all right."
"Of course. Why wouldn't it be?"
Perhaps saying, 'I hope she won't mind us using it?.. or something like that.
I'm sure you don't me around you boys. I'll leave."
I'm sure you don't [want] me around....
Katherine started picking up...... Packing up?
After she walked entered the living room, ... remove either, walked, or entered.
reply by the author on 14-Feb-2021
Another excellent chapter, Barbara. I picked up a few nits, which is very unusual for you. But, take a look. Well done, my friend. I do enjoy this story. :)) Sandra xx
I wasn't sure about this sentence, it reads like she's saying it might have gone off....
"I'm using your mom's left over coleslaw. I hope it's all right."
"Of course. Why wouldn't it be?"
Perhaps saying, 'I hope she won't mind us using it?.. or something like that.
I'm sure you don't me around you boys. I'll leave."
I'm sure you don't [want] me around....
Katherine started picking up...... Packing up?
After she walked entered the living room, ... remove either, walked, or entered.
Comment Written 14-Feb-2021
reply by the author on 14-Feb-2021
-
I have made the changes. Thank you for the catches. I appreciate the help.
-
One good turn deserves another, so they say! You are very welcome, Barbara.xxx
Comment from Alcreator Litt Dear
This Chapter: Part 2 of the Romance Fiction (Novel) speaks about state and experience of living expressively through a personalized dramatic taletelling, progressed through orderly plot development and fostered with dialogues interestingly realistic with a curious ending; well said, well done; thanks for sharing this. ALCREATOR
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
reply by the author on 14-Feb-2021
This Chapter: Part 2 of the Romance Fiction (Novel) speaks about state and experience of living expressively through a personalized dramatic taletelling, progressed through orderly plot development and fostered with dialogues interestingly realistic with a curious ending; well said, well done; thanks for sharing this. ALCREATOR
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 14-Feb-2021
reply by the author on 14-Feb-2021
-
Thank you for the encouraging review.
Comment from lancellot
Another well written chapter. And it seems we are going to get a look into why and who Katherine is in the next chapter. That will explain many things about I have been wondering about.
Well done.
reply by the author on 14-Feb-2021
Another well written chapter. And it seems we are going to get a look into why and who Katherine is in the next chapter. That will explain many things about I have been wondering about.
Well done.
Comment Written 14-Feb-2021
reply by the author on 14-Feb-2021
-
I think it will start to revel them. There will still be more to follow in later posts.
Comment from Rdfrdmom2
Barbara:
Another good chapter. I look forward to hearing what
Katherine has to say about her deceased husband. A
couple of editing issues for you below:
I'm sure you don't me around you boys.
I'm sure you don't (want) me around you(r) boys.
Rdfrdmom2
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
reply by the author on 14-Feb-2021
Barbara:
Another good chapter. I look forward to hearing what
Katherine has to say about her deceased husband. A
couple of editing issues for you below:
I'm sure you don't me around you boys.
I'm sure you don't (want) me around you(r) boys.
Rdfrdmom2
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 14-Feb-2021
reply by the author on 14-Feb-2021
-
I have made the corrections. Thank you for the catches and I appreciate the help.