A Fly on the Wall
Viewing comments for Chapter 14 "On Celebrating Life"A journal musings and assessments about situations
34 total reviews
Comment from Bichon
I'm so sorry about your friend, she sounded so kind and lovely. Im glad she could bestow knowlege and inspiration onto you, it sounds like she enjoyed her life with her dear friends,
reply by the author on 02-Jul-2019
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I'm so sorry about your friend, she sounded so kind and lovely. Im glad she could bestow knowlege and inspiration onto you, it sounds like she enjoyed her life with her dear friends,
Comment Written 02-Jul-2019
reply by the author on 02-Jul-2019
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You are exactly right, Bichon, and even in the wake of her death, she left us feeling happy. Now THAT's an amazing person. Thank you for your condolences. I appreciate that very much. xo
Comment from Sylvia Page
This is a lovely thought and a great and happy sendoff, Rachelle. One that will be remembered by friends for a long time more than if the mood was one of melancholy. Thanks for sharing.
Beautifully written and the melodies were cleverly chosen.
Sylvia
reply by the author on 02-Jul-2019
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This is a lovely thought and a great and happy sendoff, Rachelle. One that will be remembered by friends for a long time more than if the mood was one of melancholy. Thanks for sharing.
Beautifully written and the melodies were cleverly chosen.
Sylvia
Comment Written 02-Jul-2019
reply by the author on 02-Jul-2019
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EXACTLY! I look back on that day often, always with joy and warmth. The ones with the wake? Those bring me sadness. No comparison to the last memory I want to leave my own friends with.
Thanks for this really nice review. xo
Comment from WalkerMan
Yes, a celebration of a person's life is far better than a public session of lament over his or her loss. The songs chosen do seem appropriate, based on Gail's preferences; and the relevant stories shared by her friends between songs further personalized each one. Your own tribute at the end likely was appreciated by all. The result clearly will be fond memories for everyone present.
By contrast, the events you attended for others you had known left all involved sad and exhausted, with nothing but that to remember.
Your decision to follow Gail's example is wise, and all who attend will be glad they did. No rush, of course....
Superb.
reply by the author on 02-Jul-2019
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Yes, a celebration of a person's life is far better than a public session of lament over his or her loss. The songs chosen do seem appropriate, based on Gail's preferences; and the relevant stories shared by her friends between songs further personalized each one. Your own tribute at the end likely was appreciated by all. The result clearly will be fond memories for everyone present.
By contrast, the events you attended for others you had known left all involved sad and exhausted, with nothing but that to remember.
Your decision to follow Gail's example is wise, and all who attend will be glad they did. No rush, of course....
Superb.
Comment Written 02-Jul-2019
reply by the author on 02-Jul-2019
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I knew you would understand, Mike. Thank you for this absolutely beautiful review (and the ending is perfect. Hahaha. You're as charming as you are kind. xo)
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You are most welcome, Rachelle. A "departure party" like the one you had for Gail is definitely the best sendoff. -- Mike
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I heartily agree. xo
Comment from Debbie Pope
Thank you for sharing Gail with all of us. You always make me feel whatever you are feeling. I am feeling that Gail's love of life was a blessing, and I hate that I did not get to know her.
Gail was wise, too. I want my funeral to be a celebration as well. I had a role in Bye Bye Birdie in which I sang and danced my heart out. I've told my husband that I want him to play select segments from the recording that we have of the play. I want people to remember me laughing and enjoying life. Who needs a boring wake?
reply by the author on 02-Jul-2019
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Thank you for sharing Gail with all of us. You always make me feel whatever you are feeling. I am feeling that Gail's love of life was a blessing, and I hate that I did not get to know her.
Gail was wise, too. I want my funeral to be a celebration as well. I had a role in Bye Bye Birdie in which I sang and danced my heart out. I've told my husband that I want him to play select segments from the recording that we have of the play. I want people to remember me laughing and enjoying life. Who needs a boring wake?
Comment Written 01-Jul-2019
reply by the author on 02-Jul-2019
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I am SOOO in agreement with you! Remembering our friends happy and enjoying life is the perfect way to say goodbye. And, because they loved us, that's how THEY would want us to be feeling, too. They wouldn't want us sad and crying.
I love your idea of your recordings being played at your final farewell! That would be the perfect memory of a sparkler like you! xo
Comment from Phyllis Stewart
What a wonderful way to say goodbye and to remember why you all loved Gail. One hundred people??? I don't think I know more than twenty people. How did she make so many friends? Must have been a kind, giving person to attract so much love.
I won't die, so I will have no funeral, wake, or party. My ashes will sit on a shelf in Mark's office, I guess. We all end up in a glorious place, where I will wait for Mark. We live forever in the light as souls, and may be reincarnated to Earth again and again. The best thing about leaving this Earthly existence is that we recall all the past lives we've had. THEN, I will know hundreds, even thousands, of people, all from past families. I can't wait! :)
reply by the author on 01-Jul-2019
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What a wonderful way to say goodbye and to remember why you all loved Gail. One hundred people??? I don't think I know more than twenty people. How did she make so many friends? Must have been a kind, giving person to attract so much love.
I won't die, so I will have no funeral, wake, or party. My ashes will sit on a shelf in Mark's office, I guess. We all end up in a glorious place, where I will wait for Mark. We live forever in the light as souls, and may be reincarnated to Earth again and again. The best thing about leaving this Earthly existence is that we recall all the past lives we've had. THEN, I will know hundreds, even thousands, of people, all from past families. I can't wait! :)
Comment Written 01-Jul-2019
reply by the author on 01-Jul-2019
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HAHAHAH. Phyllis, you're hilarious.
But you're right; she had that many friends because wherever she went, she left with another friend. She was just so intrinsically KIND and fun-loving.
Thanks for the terrific review. xo
Comment from Michele Harber
I fully agree with you - but what else is new? In my family, the only way to distinguish a funeral from a wedding is by what the guest of honor is wearing. OK, so the funerals have a little more crying, and the weddings have a little more dancing (sometimes the reverse, depending on the person) but, overall, they're both just family reunions. They're excuses to gather family and friends we haven't seen in a while, say goodbye to the departing (or departed) member, and welcome the new one. The latter usually only applies to weddings but, based on some of my family members' beliefs, you never know.
There will always be mourning when someone dies, but let that be private (or with the few people closest to you), when you can cry out loud, or yell or speak to the departed, without worrying what others will think. When you have everyone together, definitely turn it into a celebration of life.
Not surprisingly, you told your story beautifully (yes, this actually is a review), and managed to write a story about funerals that leaves the reader feeling happy and not maudlin. Well done, as always.
reply by the author on 01-Jul-2019
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I fully agree with you - but what else is new? In my family, the only way to distinguish a funeral from a wedding is by what the guest of honor is wearing. OK, so the funerals have a little more crying, and the weddings have a little more dancing (sometimes the reverse, depending on the person) but, overall, they're both just family reunions. They're excuses to gather family and friends we haven't seen in a while, say goodbye to the departing (or departed) member, and welcome the new one. The latter usually only applies to weddings but, based on some of my family members' beliefs, you never know.
There will always be mourning when someone dies, but let that be private (or with the few people closest to you), when you can cry out loud, or yell or speak to the departed, without worrying what others will think. When you have everyone together, definitely turn it into a celebration of life.
Not surprisingly, you told your story beautifully (yes, this actually is a review), and managed to write a story about funerals that leaves the reader feeling happy and not maudlin. Well done, as always.
Comment Written 01-Jul-2019
reply by the author on 01-Jul-2019
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Thank you for this charming and amusing review. Your family sounds like my kind of people! Thank you for this smile today. xo
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You're very welcome, my FSBFF. I do have to remind myself, sometimes, that I'm supposed to be doing a review and not just sharing my own stories.
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No, no; I love them. Don't stop. xo
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OK - but be careful what you wish for.
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You know I am fearless.
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Yes - and that's what frightens me!!!
Comment from Gail Denham
Agreed - so many now opt for a memorial service where friends and family give often humorous accounts of the person's life. This is a good way - and I'd want that also. But also I'd want people to know that as a Christian, my soul had gone to God.
reply by the author on 01-Jul-2019
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Agreed - so many now opt for a memorial service where friends and family give often humorous accounts of the person's life. This is a good way - and I'd want that also. But also I'd want people to know that as a Christian, my soul had gone to God.
Comment Written 01-Jul-2019
reply by the author on 01-Jul-2019
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You could have "On Eagle's Wing" sung!
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Good idea I think - there are some of the old hymns too that have a fantastic story ... in our little church, it's mostly repetative choruses - all the rage now. I like the hymns.
Comment from juliaSjames
So sorry for your loss of a good friend. Thank you for sharing the details of what must have been a marvelous and uplifting celebration of her life.
A wonderful tribute.
Blessings Julia
reply by the author on 01-Jul-2019
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So sorry for your loss of a good friend. Thank you for sharing the details of what must have been a marvelous and uplifting celebration of her life.
A wonderful tribute.
Blessings Julia
Comment Written 01-Jul-2019
reply by the author on 01-Jul-2019
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It really was a perfect last(ing) memory. It fills me with nothing but joy.
I really love this review, Julia. Thank you. xo
Comment from Mark Valentine
What a wonderful idea. I've been putting together a playlist for my wife's funeral for years (she's not sick or anything, but you want to be prepared for these things). "Ain't No Sunshine" by Bill Withers, "Miss You" by the Stones, "Layla" by Derek and the Dominoes (no deep meaning for that one - it's just a good song).
Seriously, this sounded like a wonderful tribute to, and remembrance of, your friend - very touching (and a bit of humor as well as evidenced by the "Call Me Maybe" parody).
Well done.
reply by the author on 01-Jul-2019
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What a wonderful idea. I've been putting together a playlist for my wife's funeral for years (she's not sick or anything, but you want to be prepared for these things). "Ain't No Sunshine" by Bill Withers, "Miss You" by the Stones, "Layla" by Derek and the Dominoes (no deep meaning for that one - it's just a good song).
Seriously, this sounded like a wonderful tribute to, and remembrance of, your friend - very touching (and a bit of humor as well as evidenced by the "Call Me Maybe" parody).
Well done.
Comment Written 01-Jul-2019
reply by the author on 01-Jul-2019
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Our FS cohort, LisaMay, and I have agreed that, like a Will, one's Celebration of Life playlist may need to be updated every five years or so. (Layla might be unusual, but, as you said, it IS a good song, and it's far preferable to, say, "Another One Bites the Dust," right?)
Thanks for the really nice review, Mark. xo
Comment from A. Willow Bends
Beautiful tribute to your friend's last wishes. Celebration of Life so much easier on everyone than the traipsing past the casket or urn bit. Thank you for sharing this. Keven and I have been discussing these things and this will give me food for thought. Time is flying by (not to be morbid!) and my oldest son recently reminded me to get in writing, so there will be done what I want done and not what everyone else thinks should be done.
Well written, inspiring, informative and shows how endings can be joyful.
Wendy
reply by the author on 01-Jul-2019
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Beautiful tribute to your friend's last wishes. Celebration of Life so much easier on everyone than the traipsing past the casket or urn bit. Thank you for sharing this. Keven and I have been discussing these things and this will give me food for thought. Time is flying by (not to be morbid!) and my oldest son recently reminded me to get in writing, so there will be done what I want done and not what everyone else thinks should be done.
Well written, inspiring, informative and shows how endings can be joyful.
Wendy
Comment Written 01-Jul-2019
reply by the author on 01-Jul-2019
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Exactly. I mean, surely you get to have what you want for your last 'contact' with everyone!! Anything less is WAY unfair, right?! You can't go to the grave still doing only for others and subjugating your own needs!! (That almost seems like an idea for a story, doesn't it?! I can feel my little gears working away on that as I type!)
My FS friend, LisaMay, and I were talking about it, too, and agreed that, like a Will, the Celebration of Life playlist should probably be updated every five years, too.
Thanks for the thought-provoking review. xo