A Fly on the Wall
Viewing comments for Chapter 8 "On Showing Up"A journal musings and assessments about situations
30 total reviews
Comment from Dolly'sPoems
An interesting write Rachelle. My Father wanted to arrange his own wake whilst he was alive so that he could attend and meet everyone and say goodbye to them. He didn't want to be dead at his wake! So he did just that and a few days before he died we had this strange celebration and my Father was happy. I enjoyed your sensitive words here, love Dolly x
reply by the author on 03-Jun-2019
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An interesting write Rachelle. My Father wanted to arrange his own wake whilst he was alive so that he could attend and meet everyone and say goodbye to them. He didn't want to be dead at his wake! So he did just that and a few days before he died we had this strange celebration and my Father was happy. I enjoyed your sensitive words here, love Dolly x
Comment Written 03-Jun-2019
reply by the author on 03-Jun-2019
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Wow!! Now that is AWESOME! Have you ever written a piece about this, Dolly? It would be a fascinating read!
Comment from Debbie Pope
This one spoke to me, Rachelle. I just got back from Stamford, Connecticut where I attended my future daughter-in-law Michelle's shower. Like you said, I showed up. I could tell how much it meant to her just to have my presence. My 2 daughters showed up as well even though it was hard for each of them. They showed up because they love their brother. That meant everything to me.
While I was there, Michele had to cancel her bachelorette party due to her aunt's wake. Michele is catholic and Italian. This wake was tremendous. Your story makes me wish that I had attended.
You write about things that matter in life. I loved your commentary.
reply by the author on 02-Jun-2019
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This one spoke to me, Rachelle. I just got back from Stamford, Connecticut where I attended my future daughter-in-law Michelle's shower. Like you said, I showed up. I could tell how much it meant to her just to have my presence. My 2 daughters showed up as well even though it was hard for each of them. They showed up because they love their brother. That meant everything to me.
While I was there, Michele had to cancel her bachelorette party due to her aunt's wake. Michele is catholic and Italian. This wake was tremendous. Your story makes me wish that I had attended.
You write about things that matter in life. I loved your commentary.
Comment Written 02-Jun-2019
reply by the author on 02-Jun-2019
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And I loved this review. Thank you for making my night, Debbie. This meant the world to me. xo
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When I was i third grade, we had a wake for my grandfather. His open casket was in the living room. I remember praying that he would rise like Lazarus. I kept checking the living room to see if he was still dead.
I told you that I identified with this story.
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I can SOOOO totally envision a nine-year-old doing that! I LOVE that vignette! Thanks for sharing that with me this morning. xo
Comment from Mrs. KT
Hello Rachelle,
Such wise words - on every level - for every relationship.
Of course, I am truly thinking of my husband of nearly 40 years. My shy, humble, gentle husband, who prefers to stay out of the limelight - on any occasion, but who has always, "shown up" - been there for our children, and especially for me - whenever we have had moments of celebration and/or needed him.
I remember when I published my first - and so far, only book. I was giving a reading at a local bookstore, and of course, my husband and our children attended.
At 6'5", Lar preferred to sit in the back of the gathering. No worries. I could see him. I could see him when he laughed, and I could see him when he wept at my readings...
Wise words, indeed...
Thank you for sharing!
diane
reply by the author on 02-Jun-2019
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Hello Rachelle,
Such wise words - on every level - for every relationship.
Of course, I am truly thinking of my husband of nearly 40 years. My shy, humble, gentle husband, who prefers to stay out of the limelight - on any occasion, but who has always, "shown up" - been there for our children, and especially for me - whenever we have had moments of celebration and/or needed him.
I remember when I published my first - and so far, only book. I was giving a reading at a local bookstore, and of course, my husband and our children attended.
At 6'5", Lar preferred to sit in the back of the gathering. No worries. I could see him. I could see him when he laughed, and I could see him when he wept at my readings...
Wise words, indeed...
Thank you for sharing!
diane
Comment Written 02-Jun-2019
reply by the author on 02-Jun-2019
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Oy. That just made me well up, Diane. You married SO very well!! I couldn't be happier for you. (Ditto to him; he has a wife who is appreciative. To me, that's the ultimate life.)
I'm so glad you shared this vignette. Thank you for brightening my night. xo
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He's a keeper!
And it sounds like your husband is as well!
diane
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He totally is, too.
Comment from Sandra du Plessis
A very well-written piece about the imporange to show up at an invent that is important to others. It shows our loved ones see us as important in their lives.
reply by the author on 02-Jun-2019
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A very well-written piece about the imporange to show up at an invent that is important to others. It shows our loved ones see us as important in their lives.
Comment Written 02-Jun-2019
reply by the author on 02-Jun-2019
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Exactly. Thanks, Sandra. xo
Comment from karenina
Wow. This hit home. I have, unfortunately, had five family members commit suicide. That alone has skewed my view on death in general and funerals as well. At age eleven my Aunt Mary, who in the 1960's was a Lesbian and was not accepted by anyone in or out of the family--took her life with a horrid combination of tranquilizers and a shot gun. My mother insisted I attend the funeral...an open casket that should not have been.
They did the best they could, but even to a child's eyes one could see (I still see in my mind's eye)--the extensive damage to her skull no amount of putty and make up could correct.
This was traumatic for me on every level. I'd never heard of suicide, my favorite aunt was gone...the family was fighting with the Catholic church because they were not going to be allowed to bury Mary in the Catholic Cemetery... Mary's "lover" showed up and a royal battle ensued.
After that I refused to go to another funeral. Ever. Four more suicides...I could not face them. I excused myself by telling myself and anyone who criticized me that the body was an empty shell...the spirit had moved on. Truly I was scared out of my mind.
When my mother passed suddenly at age sixty I, of course, attended---but I insisted when I was present the coffin be kept closed. Same with my Father. I wanted, NEEDED to remember them in life...not in death.
Your most emotional write shows me the flip side of my thinking. My attendance should not have been about me at all. I SHOULD have been there for the family and friends as they mourned their loved ones! THAT would have been the truest act of love!
Just last month one of my very best friends went in for a minor surgical procedure and died on the operating table. Even her family, who called to break the news to me, told me they knew I would not be attending but knew I would want to know...
I was wrong. She was always there for me. I ought to have been there for her.
Writing is an amazing thing. It entertains, it informs...and sometimes it hold up a mirror and reflects back our own misguided perceptions...and changes a person forever.
I thank you... It won't be easy...but I promise you because of the import of your words I WILL be there when needed...as I should have been all these years.
--Karenina
reply by the author on 02-Jun-2019
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Wow. This hit home. I have, unfortunately, had five family members commit suicide. That alone has skewed my view on death in general and funerals as well. At age eleven my Aunt Mary, who in the 1960's was a Lesbian and was not accepted by anyone in or out of the family--took her life with a horrid combination of tranquilizers and a shot gun. My mother insisted I attend the funeral...an open casket that should not have been.
They did the best they could, but even to a child's eyes one could see (I still see in my mind's eye)--the extensive damage to her skull no amount of putty and make up could correct.
This was traumatic for me on every level. I'd never heard of suicide, my favorite aunt was gone...the family was fighting with the Catholic church because they were not going to be allowed to bury Mary in the Catholic Cemetery... Mary's "lover" showed up and a royal battle ensued.
After that I refused to go to another funeral. Ever. Four more suicides...I could not face them. I excused myself by telling myself and anyone who criticized me that the body was an empty shell...the spirit had moved on. Truly I was scared out of my mind.
When my mother passed suddenly at age sixty I, of course, attended---but I insisted when I was present the coffin be kept closed. Same with my Father. I wanted, NEEDED to remember them in life...not in death.
Your most emotional write shows me the flip side of my thinking. My attendance should not have been about me at all. I SHOULD have been there for the family and friends as they mourned their loved ones! THAT would have been the truest act of love!
Just last month one of my very best friends went in for a minor surgical procedure and died on the operating table. Even her family, who called to break the news to me, told me they knew I would not be attending but knew I would want to know...
I was wrong. She was always there for me. I ought to have been there for her.
Writing is an amazing thing. It entertains, it informs...and sometimes it hold up a mirror and reflects back our own misguided perceptions...and changes a person forever.
I thank you... It won't be easy...but I promise you because of the import of your words I WILL be there when needed...as I should have been all these years.
--Karenina
Comment Written 02-Jun-2019
reply by the author on 02-Jun-2019
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This is a very moving 'review.' I'm so glad we can be friends to each other in this way and help heal wounds and sort of push boundaries.
I have a future chapter about a time when I was young and totally botched a nursing home gig because I was thinking about my own discomfort rather than trying to make the day better for the residents. My father read me the riot act on the way home, teaching me that if you're doing something generous for another person, then there's no room to be thinking about yourself. It's a good lesson, regardless of what age we learn it.
I'm so sorry for all those tragic losses in your life. We also lost my brother to suicide, so I understand the pain of that...just not to the horrific degree of your family's. Oy.
Thanks for your beautiful words and sentiments, Karenina. They touched me very much. xo
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It is a certainty in my heart that God places us in the path of someone who will feel our pain and joy... I'm blessed to know you!---Karenina
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Right back atcha! xo
Comment from Richard J
Good afternoon, Rachelle! : )
You and your Mom are equally beautiful ... I can see (in her countenance and smile) where you get your lovely, inviting personality.
Of all the stories and poems I've had the pleasure and joy to read on FanStory, this of yours is (by far) the most genuinely natural and deeply touching.
Perhaps, it's because it is true to life in a way many of us wish our lives were and could be.
An extra-added bonus is that we got to learn a good deal more about You, the person, your fine, loving, caring husband, Bobby, your darling mother, and something very important about your life as a teacher who loves her students and her very important profession.
I personally think every aspect of this excellently rendered story is grammatically, emotionally, and heart-touchingly brilliant, Rachelle, and I say this most enviously.
Thank you ever-so warmly and sincerely for sharing You with Us.
Sunday blessings! ~ Richard : )
reply by the author on 02-Jun-2019
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Good afternoon, Rachelle! : )
You and your Mom are equally beautiful ... I can see (in her countenance and smile) where you get your lovely, inviting personality.
Of all the stories and poems I've had the pleasure and joy to read on FanStory, this of yours is (by far) the most genuinely natural and deeply touching.
Perhaps, it's because it is true to life in a way many of us wish our lives were and could be.
An extra-added bonus is that we got to learn a good deal more about You, the person, your fine, loving, caring husband, Bobby, your darling mother, and something very important about your life as a teacher who loves her students and her very important profession.
I personally think every aspect of this excellently rendered story is grammatically, emotionally, and heart-touchingly brilliant, Rachelle, and I say this most enviously.
Thank you ever-so warmly and sincerely for sharing You with Us.
Sunday blessings! ~ Richard : )
Comment Written 02-Jun-2019
reply by the author on 02-Jun-2019
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Thanks, Richard. Ann is actually not my birth mother, but the mother I chose as my True Mom after she was the Master Teacher and I was the volunteer in her Kindergarten classroom.
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Oh!
You said, "This is my True Mom, Ann." So, I assumed she was your mother.
Thanks for clarifying that.
I hope the rest of the review was okay.
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It was.
Comment from Robert Zimmerman
I really enjoyed "the Teaching Dress" and this story is really good. The whole idea of "Showing Up" is what counts in life. Anyone will say anything but the people that show up are the ones we cherish. I tell people we cannot fix other's tragedies but they will remember when we "show up." That is a great story. Excellent work. -Robert- I posted a silly poem called "The Carnival" in the "Minute" poem contest if you have a "minute."
reply by the author on 02-Jun-2019
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I really enjoyed "the Teaching Dress" and this story is really good. The whole idea of "Showing Up" is what counts in life. Anyone will say anything but the people that show up are the ones we cherish. I tell people we cannot fix other's tragedies but they will remember when we "show up." That is a great story. Excellent work. -Robert- I posted a silly poem called "The Carnival" in the "Minute" poem contest if you have a "minute."
Comment Written 02-Jun-2019
reply by the author on 02-Jun-2019
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Thanks for this very encouraging review, Robert. You're right; those who 'show up' are the ones who genuinely care.
Thanks for the heads up for your minute poem. I'll check it out. xo
Comment from A. Willow Bends
YOU touch my heart. People show up for you because you are a friend to others, kind, compassionate and empathetic. This is a fantastic piece. I love it. There is little else to say.
Oh yes there is. I may have written a review on one of your pieces in error that was to go to a writer by the last name of Garcia. My computer is slow. If so, it is not big deal. It was a short flash fiction that was quite nice and I gave her a six, but the comments may have been done on one of your sheets, which matters not as I am landing a 6 on this. If so, sorry for the mistake. First one I made this year! :) HA HA HA HA Ha
reply by the author on 02-Jun-2019
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YOU touch my heart. People show up for you because you are a friend to others, kind, compassionate and empathetic. This is a fantastic piece. I love it. There is little else to say.
Oh yes there is. I may have written a review on one of your pieces in error that was to go to a writer by the last name of Garcia. My computer is slow. If so, it is not big deal. It was a short flash fiction that was quite nice and I gave her a six, but the comments may have been done on one of your sheets, which matters not as I am landing a 6 on this. If so, sorry for the mistake. First one I made this year! :) HA HA HA HA Ha
Comment Written 02-Jun-2019
reply by the author on 02-Jun-2019
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HAHAHAHA! You slay me, Wendy.
Thank you for this very nice review. xo
Comment from judiverse
I have heard about those Irish wakes. They must be a time for celebrating the deceased's life, and the men, in particular, want to do just that. Great account of your student recital and the people who "showed up." That indicates caring. You mention that your husband was there to help and to support you. It's so wonderful that Ann was able to make it, at her age. Sounds like a wonderful recital. Showing up is important. As Woody Allen said, a big part of success in life is just showing up. Wonderful story. judi
reply by the author on 02-Jun-2019
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I have heard about those Irish wakes. They must be a time for celebrating the deceased's life, and the men, in particular, want to do just that. Great account of your student recital and the people who "showed up." That indicates caring. You mention that your husband was there to help and to support you. It's so wonderful that Ann was able to make it, at her age. Sounds like a wonderful recital. Showing up is important. As Woody Allen said, a big part of success in life is just showing up. Wonderful story. judi
Comment Written 02-Jun-2019
reply by the author on 02-Jun-2019
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Thank you, Judi. I always love your reviews. xo
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You're very welcome. I enjoyed reading this very much. judi
Comment from Heather Knight
I have enjoyed reading this very much. Is Anne the lady who gave you the red dress?
I love the picture and your shoes. They look like piano keys.
Your husband sounds like a great man.
Thanks for sharing.
reply by the author on 02-Jun-2019
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I have enjoyed reading this very much. Is Anne the lady who gave you the red dress?
I love the picture and your shoes. They look like piano keys.
Your husband sounds like a great man.
Thanks for sharing.
Comment Written 02-Jun-2019
reply by the author on 02-Jun-2019
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Yes, you're exactly right, Maria. Ann is the lady who bestowed the red dress.
And you're also right that that is a piano keyboard on my shoes!! A friend of mine saw them online and sent me the link. How could I resist buying them at once??!! You can't tell with the angle of that shot, but they're platform heels, so very comfortable!
And you are ALSO right about my husband: he is a totally great man. I couldn't love him more. He always has my back.
Thanks for this totally wonderful review. xo
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You?re welcome. Take care.