The French Letter
Viewing comments for Chapter 50 "An Unexpected Visitor"A Novel
28 total reviews
Comment from Coco Jane
An interesting story going on here!
Some suggestions:
"My blood ran cold. Actually it didn't...." If it didn't, why say it?
"...'next assignment.'" (Period should be inside the single quote.)
"So that was what this whole scheme had been about. It began to dawn on me that I had been skilfully set up." Consider using dialogue--let Mr. Brandon say this directly to Madame Durand, not just to the reader.
You have several cliched expressions--blood ran cold, my head was in a whirl, others. Consider replacing them with fresher imagery.
All in all, you've got me hooked and wanting to know how this turns out.
reply by the author on 11-Apr-2019
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An interesting story going on here!
Some suggestions:
"My blood ran cold. Actually it didn't...." If it didn't, why say it?
"...'next assignment.'" (Period should be inside the single quote.)
"So that was what this whole scheme had been about. It began to dawn on me that I had been skilfully set up." Consider using dialogue--let Mr. Brandon say this directly to Madame Durand, not just to the reader.
You have several cliched expressions--blood ran cold, my head was in a whirl, others. Consider replacing them with fresher imagery.
All in all, you've got me hooked and wanting to know how this turns out.
Comment Written 10-Apr-2019
reply by the author on 11-Apr-2019
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Thank you very much, Coco Jane. It's always a great pleasure to receive a review such as yours that makes constructive suggestions for improvement. I shall certainly look at those things that you have mentioned and make any necessary changes.
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Thank you very much, Coco Jane. It's always a great pleasure to receive a review such as yours that makes constructive suggestions for improvement. I shall certainly look at those things that you have mentioned and make any necessary changes.
Comment from Jannypan (Jan)
This was an interesting chapter, Tony. It seems that Charles did not realize he was being set up and now he can't refuse their plans for the next assignment. That Jeanne is a mean woman I believe. I look forward to the next chapter. Thanks for sharing. Jan
reply by the author on 10-Apr-2019
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This was an interesting chapter, Tony. It seems that Charles did not realize he was being set up and now he can't refuse their plans for the next assignment. That Jeanne is a mean woman I believe. I look forward to the next chapter. Thanks for sharing. Jan
Comment Written 09-Apr-2019
reply by the author on 10-Apr-2019
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Thanks again, Jan. He certainly seems to be getting into hot water.
Comment from barbara.wilkey
Oh my!! The plot thickens. I can't wait until their next meeting later in the morning. I am to find out that Madame Durand is part of all of this. Now it's all coming together. I can't wait for more.
reply by the author on 10-Apr-2019
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Oh my!! The plot thickens. I can't wait until their next meeting later in the morning. I am to find out that Madame Durand is part of all of this. Now it's all coming together. I can't wait for more.
Comment Written 09-Apr-2019
reply by the author on 10-Apr-2019
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Thanks for your comments, Barbara. A few loose ends are beginning to be gathered. All the best, Tony.
Comment from Shirley McLain
Great story, full of anxious anxiety. You did a wonderful job with your writing and you held my interest from the first word to the last. Have a great night. Shirley
reply by the author on 10-Apr-2019
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Great story, full of anxious anxiety. You did a wonderful job with your writing and you held my interest from the first word to the last. Have a great night. Shirley
Comment Written 09-Apr-2019
reply by the author on 10-Apr-2019
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Thanks for your comments, Shirley. Appreciated! Tony.
Comment from royowen
An exciting episode Tony, it's definitely becoming more and more complex in its intensity of plot. Poor Charles, mixed up in all the intrigue, it reads like a James Bond plot, without the physical skills and daring of Bond himself. Now Madame Jeanne Durand is back to knitting more intrigue into it. Well done my friend, excellent writing, blessings, Roy
reply by the author on 09-Apr-2019
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An exciting episode Tony, it's definitely becoming more and more complex in its intensity of plot. Poor Charles, mixed up in all the intrigue, it reads like a James Bond plot, without the physical skills and daring of Bond himself. Now Madame Jeanne Durand is back to knitting more intrigue into it. Well done my friend, excellent writing, blessings, Roy
Comment Written 09-Apr-2019
reply by the author on 09-Apr-2019
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Thanks, Roy. I'm trying to draw a few threads together now on the downhill run towards the final chapters - and finding it's a bit of a cat's cradle!
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Thanks, Roy. I'm trying to draw a few threads together now on the downhill run towards the final chapters - and finding it's a bit of a cat's cradle!
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Doing well Tony
Comment from damommy
I AM surprised. Turns out there's more to Madame Durand than I suspected. I always thought she was on the other side. I can imagine how surprised Charles was to see her on his doorstep. I don't see how he'll ever get out of this.
reply by the author on 09-Apr-2019
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I AM surprised. Turns out there's more to Madame Durand than I suspected. I always thought she was on the other side. I can imagine how surprised Charles was to see her on his doorstep. I don't see how he'll ever get out of this.
Comment Written 09-Apr-2019
reply by the author on 09-Apr-2019
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Thanks, Yvonne. I'm trying to draw a few threads together now on the downhill run towards the final chapters - and finding it's a bit of a cat's cradle!
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Thanks, Yvonne. I'm trying to draw a few threads together now on the downhill run towards the final chapters - and finding it's a bit of a cat's cradle!
Comment from LIJ Red
The Canadian trapper who was only hurt twice in his life comes to mind... "The second time was when I took the slack out of the chain on that bear trap." I think your protagonist is running out of slack...excellent chapter.
reply by the author on 09-Apr-2019
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The Canadian trapper who was only hurt twice in his life comes to mind... "The second time was when I took the slack out of the chain on that bear trap." I think your protagonist is running out of slack...excellent chapter.
Comment Written 09-Apr-2019
reply by the author on 09-Apr-2019
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I think you're right. He's uncomfortably close to the jaws.
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I think you're right. He's uncomfortably close to the jaws.
Comment from Ulla
Wow, Tony, this is getting better by the minute. There's so much more to this story than I first thought and, obviously, the same seems to go for Charlie as well. It's a great story full of twists and turns. No six left, I'm sorry to say.
I've meant to say to you that your writing reminds me of Robert Goddard, a favourite writer of mine. All best. Ulla:))
reply by the author on 09-Apr-2019
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Wow, Tony, this is getting better by the minute. There's so much more to this story than I first thought and, obviously, the same seems to go for Charlie as well. It's a great story full of twists and turns. No six left, I'm sorry to say.
I've meant to say to you that your writing reminds me of Robert Goddard, a favourite writer of mine. All best. Ulla:))
Comment Written 09-Apr-2019
reply by the author on 09-Apr-2019
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Thanks, Ulla. I'm trying to draw a few threads together now on the downhill run towards the final chapters - and finding it's a bit of a cat's cradle! I shall have to look up Robert Goddard. Maybe he can give me a few clues as to how Charles is gong to get out of this mess! LOL
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Thanks, Ulla. I'm trying to draw a few threads together now on the downhill run towards the final chapters - and finding it's a bit of a cat's cradle! I shall have to look up Robert Goddard. Maybe he can give me a few clues as to how Charles is gong to get out of this mess! LOL
Comment from giraffmang
Hi Tony,
Another great read. It would seem that Charles has been well & truly hooked and reeled in here.
My blood ran cold. Actually, it didn't but my reaction was a strange mixture of surprise and fear. - lol
as I absent-mindedly crumpled the photos. - absentmindedly can be a single word.
All the best
G
reply by the author on 09-Apr-2019
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Hi Tony,
Another great read. It would seem that Charles has been well & truly hooked and reeled in here.
My blood ran cold. Actually, it didn't but my reaction was a strange mixture of surprise and fear. - lol
as I absent-mindedly crumpled the photos. - absentmindedly can be a single word.
All the best
G
Comment Written 09-Apr-2019
reply by the author on 09-Apr-2019
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Thanks, G. I appreciate the sixth star and all the encouragement. On the downhill run now, I think.
Comment from Sandra Stoner-Mitchell
OMG! What on earth is going on? I remember that other fellow saying Jeanne wouldn't be a problem any more, I guess he forgot to mention that Charles would now be working with her. It wouldn't be so bad if he knew exactly what he had got himself into. I will have to wait now. I don't suppose there is another part coming up today?? Well done, my friend, this is a brilliant story. :)) Sandra xx
reply by the author on 09-Apr-2019
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OMG! What on earth is going on? I remember that other fellow saying Jeanne wouldn't be a problem any more, I guess he forgot to mention that Charles would now be working with her. It wouldn't be so bad if he knew exactly what he had got himself into. I will have to wait now. I don't suppose there is another part coming up today?? Well done, my friend, this is a brilliant story. :)) Sandra xx
Comment Written 09-Apr-2019
reply by the author on 09-Apr-2019
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Thanks, Sandra. I appreciate the sixth star and all the encouragement. On the downhill run now, I think.