The Incomparable Fanny Barnwarmer
Viewing comments for Chapter 5 "Incomparable Fanny Barnwarmer #5"America's First Female Comic
33 total reviews
Comment from Judy Lawless
This is a powerful scene, Jay. The dialogue, the interruptions, and the revelation all demonstrate what a strong and faithful woman Fanny is. The reporter is proving himself to be better at his job than he believed he could be. Well done.
reply by the author on 05-Apr-2022
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This is a powerful scene, Jay. The dialogue, the interruptions, and the revelation all demonstrate what a strong and faithful woman Fanny is. The reporter is proving himself to be better at his job than he believed he could be. Well done.
Comment Written 04-Apr-2022
reply by the author on 05-Apr-2022
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I am so very glad that you appreciated this at such depth, Judy, and have tapped into the characters so well. I can't thank you enough for rating this with six stars.
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You are welcome, Jay. I find the story fascinating.
Comment from F. William Lester
I think I've read an earlier iteration of this story some time ago, an earlier scene. As for script writing, I have little knowledge or experience. However, I don't see anything that would indicate to me an interpretation of internal thoughts or feelings, which would be expressed through the actions of the director and actors. Beyond that, I think it's written well and makes for an interesting story. Nice work. Thanks for sharing it. Stay well.
reply by the author on 05-Apr-2022
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I think I've read an earlier iteration of this story some time ago, an earlier scene. As for script writing, I have little knowledge or experience. However, I don't see anything that would indicate to me an interpretation of internal thoughts or feelings, which would be expressed through the actions of the director and actors. Beyond that, I think it's written well and makes for an interesting story. Nice work. Thanks for sharing it. Stay well.
Comment Written 04-Apr-2022
reply by the author on 05-Apr-2022
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Thank you so much for reading this. Yes I take more liberties with the stage direction than I would if it were written to be acted out. I have no intention of submitting this for that purpose, so I play more the role of the director in showing the effect of emotion on the characters. I appreciate your kind words, Sir.
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You're most welcome.
Comment from Spitfire
Nice bit of theater with the sticky cruellers and the characters having to lick their fingers as Fanny relates the details of Juniper's crime. Will the reporter turn Fanny in as an accessory? That would be a twist.
reply by the author on 05-Apr-2022
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Nice bit of theater with the sticky cruellers and the characters having to lick their fingers as Fanny relates the details of Juniper's crime. Will the reporter turn Fanny in as an accessory? That would be a twist.
Comment Written 04-Apr-2022
reply by the author on 05-Apr-2022
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No, I think after 40 years since the murder, that the law would have little interest in prosecuting Fanny. But that would have been a twist for sure, LOL. Thanks, Shari, for being here for me.
Comment from T B Botts
Hello Jay, the plot thickens! You tell your story well. I'm left wondering what stickyberries are though, I've never heard of them. They sound delicious though. Looking forward to the next chapter. Keep up the good work.
Have a blessed evening.
Tom
reply by the author on 04-Apr-2022
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Hello Jay, the plot thickens! You tell your story well. I'm left wondering what stickyberries are though, I've never heard of them. They sound delicious though. Looking forward to the next chapter. Keep up the good work.
Have a blessed evening.
Tom
Comment Written 04-Apr-2022
reply by the author on 04-Apr-2022
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Howdy, Tom. Stickyberries do sound good, don't they? Don't get your mouth all set for them, though. I made it up. LOL, thanks again for reading and for your kindness and lovely stars.
Comment from Carol Hillebrenner
This is so good, gradually growing so intense that I imagine the Reporter has tears in his eyes before the end, horrified to know Miss Fanny was an accessory. I can actually see this play on a stage, possibly a community theater. Only one little oops: in setting-- . . . continue as a (kind) stew . . .
reply by the author on 04-Apr-2022
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This is so good, gradually growing so intense that I imagine the Reporter has tears in his eyes before the end, horrified to know Miss Fanny was an accessory. I can actually see this play on a stage, possibly a community theater. Only one little oops: in setting-- . . . continue as a (kind) stew . . .
Comment Written 03-Apr-2022
reply by the author on 04-Apr-2022
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Oops. Did I leave the "of" out of "kind of stew". I'll attend to that right away. You are so kind. I mean who reads the setting anyway, once they've gotten into the second act? Sure glad you did, though.
Comment from royowen
It would seem very hard being an accessory to a crime that a close relative or friend committed, one, you would be betraying law and order if you said nothing, and tow, you could be losing somebody dear to you, depending how they looked at you. Beautifully written, blessings Roy
reply by the author on 04-Apr-2022
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It would seem very hard being an accessory to a crime that a close relative or friend committed, one, you would be betraying law and order if you said nothing, and tow, you could be losing somebody dear to you, depending how they looked at you. Beautifully written, blessings Roy
Comment Written 03-Apr-2022
reply by the author on 04-Apr-2022
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Thank you, Roy. I'm glad you picked up on the tension at the end of the scene. I appreciate your reviews so much.
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Good job
Comment from juliaSjames
Hello Jay
I haven't followed for a while but this stands up pretty well on its own. The dialect was heavy but better written than spoken for me since I'm not born to it. The drama is intense in this scene. Took me by surprise as much as it did that reporter. I'm now curious to know how this is going to play out.
Stay safe and blessed, Julia
reply by the author on 04-Apr-2022
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Hello Jay
I haven't followed for a while but this stands up pretty well on its own. The dialect was heavy but better written than spoken for me since I'm not born to it. The drama is intense in this scene. Took me by surprise as much as it did that reporter. I'm now curious to know how this is going to play out.
Stay safe and blessed, Julia
Comment Written 03-Apr-2022
reply by the author on 04-Apr-2022
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You are so kind, Julia. Thank you for taking a chance on this one. I hope you are so curious about how it's going to turn out that you climb aboard next time. Yeah, about the dialect ... that easily got out of hand. But I can't all of the sudden have her talk like she's Mr. & Mrs. Grammarly's child. LOL, I never thunk it through.
Comment from BethShelby
Excellent dialogue and stage action. I'm sure Fanny wasn't in the dark about anything that was going to happen, and she also was aware that by knowing it all and not stopping her she would be an accessary. I'm sure Juniper would try to keep her name out of it and would deny Fanny knew anything. I'll be looking forward to finding out what else she plans to tell the reporter.
reply by the author on 05-Apr-2022
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Excellent dialogue and stage action. I'm sure Fanny wasn't in the dark about anything that was going to happen, and she also was aware that by knowing it all and not stopping her she would be an accessary. I'm sure Juniper would try to keep her name out of it and would deny Fanny knew anything. I'll be looking forward to finding out what else she plans to tell the reporter.
Comment Written 03-Apr-2022
reply by the author on 05-Apr-2022
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You did well covering every aspect of the characters' motivations in this scene. Beth, I always look forward to your comments because they are so pertinent and framed so articulately ... while kind.
Comment from LJbutterfly
I knew I was going to enjoy this drama which would include a few unexpected shockers. I actually grabbed a bag of popcorn and got comfortable. Wow! You did not disappoint. Interspersed in the dialogue are well thought out descriptions of action, such as, "Stopping short, looking away with a distant expression, then at her lap," or, "Bites off a portion, chews it a moment with his eyes closed." These are powerful images. Hence, popcorn.
reply by the author on 05-Apr-2022
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I knew I was going to enjoy this drama which would include a few unexpected shockers. I actually grabbed a bag of popcorn and got comfortable. Wow! You did not disappoint. Interspersed in the dialogue are well thought out descriptions of action, such as, "Stopping short, looking away with a distant expression, then at her lap," or, "Bites off a portion, chews it a moment with his eyes closed." These are powerful images. Hence, popcorn.
Comment Written 03-Apr-2022
reply by the author on 05-Apr-2022
Don't break a tooth on an unpopped kernel, Lorraine. As I explained to another here, I take some liberties with the stage direction since I don't intend to have this go on stage. So ... I'm thrilled that you feel it adds to the drama. You really know how to pump up a writer, Lorraine.
Comment from barbara.wilkey
Oh my!! Now what? I can't wait to see what you do with this. Miss Fanny is an accessory to murder. I somehow believe it's not going to stick. I'll find out next week. Hmm.
reply by the author on 05-Apr-2022
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Oh my!! Now what? I can't wait to see what you do with this. Miss Fanny is an accessory to murder. I somehow believe it's not going to stick. I'll find out next week. Hmm.
Comment Written 03-Apr-2022
reply by the author on 05-Apr-2022
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Well, it certainly wouldn't stick forty years after the fact. Perhaps that will be elaborated on next time. As usual, thank you for reading, your kindness and the reward of a sixth star.