Quiet Lawyer
Viewing comments for Chapter 11 "Quiet Lawyer Chapter 7C"Can a broken heart be mended?
22 total reviews
Comment from K.L. Rockquemore
I enjoyed reading this chapter. Your presentation is well done, as I appreciate the extra spacing between dialogue. I find it an easier read. The photo works perfectly here and drew me in immediately. I also appreciate in your notes the update on future posts.
reply by the author on 21-Mar-2022
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I enjoyed reading this chapter. Your presentation is well done, as I appreciate the extra spacing between dialogue. I find it an easier read. The photo works perfectly here and drew me in immediately. I also appreciate in your notes the update on future posts.
Comment Written 20-Mar-2022
reply by the author on 21-Mar-2022
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Thank you for the kind review.
Comment from Begin Again
Hello, my friend
I've not been around lately, but I had to stop and read your posts. I know Pat is nothing but trouble, and an intelligent lawyer woman should know it too. Mixed emotions from the past shouldn't outweigh her natural intelligence concerning the two men. A slight overreaction to me.... but I still love the story.
Hugs, Carol
reply by the author on 20-Mar-2022
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Hello, my friend
I've not been around lately, but I had to stop and read your posts. I know Pat is nothing but trouble, and an intelligent lawyer woman should know it too. Mixed emotions from the past shouldn't outweigh her natural intelligence concerning the two men. A slight overreaction to me.... but I still love the story.
Hugs, Carol
Comment Written 20-Mar-2022
reply by the author on 20-Mar-2022
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She hasn't gotten over her past, yet. It was bad. Thank you for the kind review. I am praying for you.
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Thank you... Been through black clouds before and I am sure I will survive. It's just difficult.
Comment from Sankey
Wow, this is taking a bad turn. I wonder how much truth there is in the accusations of his "girlfriend." A good read, as usual, glad it came up today. You have a lot of spacing in this chapter. Not sure if deliberate or by mistake. I know dialogue needs spaces but even non-dialogue is heavily spaced.
reply by the author on 20-Mar-2022
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Wow, this is taking a bad turn. I wonder how much truth there is in the accusations of his "girlfriend." A good read, as usual, glad it came up today. You have a lot of spacing in this chapter. Not sure if deliberate or by mistake. I know dialogue needs spaces but even non-dialogue is heavily spaced.
Comment Written 20-Mar-2022
reply by the author on 20-Mar-2022
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The spacing is a mistake. I am hoping tomorrow to fix it, but right now, I don't have time. I am so far behind. Thank you.
Comment from Jay Squires
Phew! There are some unexpected twists and turns in this chapter. I think there's some explaining to do, and I don't believe Ali is in a listening mood!
A couple of things you might want to attend to:
With is hand, he cupped her elbow and led her inside [I don't think you need to show that it was his hand he cupped her elbow with.]
He chuckled. "I never tease about food." [There is a difference, subtle though it may be, between teasing and kidding. I believe here I'd have him say, "I never kid about food."]
"I didn't do anything," [Punctuation other than comma needed here.]
"I won't be the other woman," interrupted Alexandra, slapped Cordero's cheek, and ran outside. [You should rework this sentence, perhaps changing "slapped" to "slapping".]
Since you posted both this and the Football chapter today, I'll give this one a five, in light of the corrections. Both are entertaining as all get-out, Barbara. It's just that sixes are always scarce.
reply by the author on 20-Mar-2022
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Phew! There are some unexpected twists and turns in this chapter. I think there's some explaining to do, and I don't believe Ali is in a listening mood!
A couple of things you might want to attend to:
With is hand, he cupped her elbow and led her inside [I don't think you need to show that it was his hand he cupped her elbow with.]
He chuckled. "I never tease about food." [There is a difference, subtle though it may be, between teasing and kidding. I believe here I'd have him say, "I never kid about food."]
"I didn't do anything," [Punctuation other than comma needed here.]
"I won't be the other woman," interrupted Alexandra, slapped Cordero's cheek, and ran outside. [You should rework this sentence, perhaps changing "slapped" to "slapping".]
Since you posted both this and the Football chapter today, I'll give this one a five, in light of the corrections. Both are entertaining as all get-out, Barbara. It's just that sixes are always scarce.
Comment Written 20-Mar-2022
reply by the author on 20-Mar-2022
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Okay, the first suggestion. I added the part about the hand at the last second. I've omitted it. The last suggestion, I've been told by editors not to use words ending with 'ing' unless necessary. I will try to figure a way to reword it.
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Without their further explanation, I wouldn't agree with the editors on that. It can be overdone, but it fills a purpose.
Comment from Judy Lawless
Wow, it seems like there is some kind of a conspiracy going on here, and sadly Ali has been taken in. At least I'm assuming Cordero is who he appears to be. Interesting. You've drawn me in to follow for sure. Well done, Barbara.
reply by the author on 20-Mar-2022
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Wow, it seems like there is some kind of a conspiracy going on here, and sadly Ali has been taken in. At least I'm assuming Cordero is who he appears to be. Interesting. You've drawn me in to follow for sure. Well done, Barbara.
Comment Written 20-Mar-2022
reply by the author on 20-Mar-2022
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Thank you for the kind review.
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You?re most welcome, Barbara.
Comment from nomi338
Why would a sensible, successful lawyer take the word of someone who has not shown himself to be trustworthy against someone who has demonstrated over and over again that he can be trusted.? I have never understood a person getting so angry that they refuse to listen to reason. They always have to suffer the embarrassment of having to apologize later.
reply by the author on 20-Mar-2022
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Why would a sensible, successful lawyer take the word of someone who has not shown himself to be trustworthy against someone who has demonstrated over and over again that he can be trusted.? I have never understood a person getting so angry that they refuse to listen to reason. They always have to suffer the embarrassment of having to apologize later.
Comment Written 20-Mar-2022
reply by the author on 20-Mar-2022
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Ali's in a bad place write now because of what her fiance did. She's healing and Cord will help. LOL Thank you for the kind review.
Comment from eliz100
I sure do appreciate the larger font and the increased spacing. There is one edit, near the top, a sentence starts with,"With is hand." You moved the story along nicely. I was sorry to see it end, Now I have to wait until next week to see what happens. LOL
reply by the author on 20-Mar-2022
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I sure do appreciate the larger font and the increased spacing. There is one edit, near the top, a sentence starts with,"With is hand." You moved the story along nicely. I was sorry to see it end, Now I have to wait until next week to see what happens. LOL
Comment Written 20-Mar-2022
reply by the author on 20-Mar-2022
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Thank you for the catch. I've read that hundreds of times and still missed it. I hate when I do that.
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Nobody is perfect
Comment from Shirley McLain
Great chapter, so full of intensity and action. You have to keep reading. Pat wants to cause trouble, and he's doing it. I don't want to wait until next Sunday to read more, but I think you're forcing me into it. Shirley
reply by the author on 20-Mar-2022
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Great chapter, so full of intensity and action. You have to keep reading. Pat wants to cause trouble, and he's doing it. I don't want to wait until next Sunday to read more, but I think you're forcing me into it. Shirley
Comment Written 20-Mar-2022
reply by the author on 20-Mar-2022
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Thank you for the encouraging review.
Comment from Jasmine Girl
This is another interesting book. I need to read the previous chapters to catch up with the book. I think the picture is too dark. Sometimes we have these extra spaces between lines after pasting our writing. I have been deleting them line by line.
Well done.
reply by the author on 20-Mar-2022
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This is another interesting book. I need to read the previous chapters to catch up with the book. I think the picture is too dark. Sometimes we have these extra spaces between lines after pasting our writing. I have been deleting them line by line.
Well done.
Comment Written 20-Mar-2022
reply by the author on 20-Mar-2022
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Okay, Thank you.
Comment from BethShelby
Wow! You have added a new dimension to his novel. This is first time Alexandra has felt she had reason to doubt him. I sure Pat is dangerous but maybe there are dangerous women as well. I hope we soon get Cord explanation. Christy asked, "You're usual?" Did you mean Your usual?
reply by the author on 20-Mar-2022
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Wow! You have added a new dimension to his novel. This is first time Alexandra has felt she had reason to doubt him. I sure Pat is dangerous but maybe there are dangerous women as well. I hope we soon get Cord explanation. Christy asked, "You're usual?" Did you mean Your usual?
Comment Written 20-Mar-2022
reply by the author on 20-Mar-2022
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Yes, I will make that correction. Sometimes my fingers work and my brain pauses. LOL