The Incomparable Fanny Barnwarmer
Viewing comments for Chapter 3 "Incomparable Fanny Barnwarmer #3"America's First Female Comic
33 total reviews
Comment from chatterbox1
Thank you, Jay, for keeping me guessing. Every time I thought I knew where you were headed, you did a U-turn right in my face. This tale is going from bad to worse with every episode.
Carol
reply by the author on 08-Mar-2022
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Thank you, Jay, for keeping me guessing. Every time I thought I knew where you were headed, you did a U-turn right in my face. This tale is going from bad to worse with every episode.
Carol
Comment Written 07-Mar-2022
reply by the author on 08-Mar-2022
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Thank you for bearing the brunt of it, Carol. The next scene won't answer all the questions ... but it will resolve a few things. Hope to see you back then.
Comment from lyenochka
It's so sad the things that went one between humans. I like the John Donne quote from the reporter. As perceptive as he is, he certainly keeps forgetting to call her Fanny. That was cute. I'm guessing the street interruption is to remind us that human suffering was still going on. Now the reporter is digging deeper and perhaps will reveal that Fanny might have some guilt over what happened to Juniper's family.
reply by the author on 07-Mar-2022
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It's so sad the things that went one between humans. I like the John Donne quote from the reporter. As perceptive as he is, he certainly keeps forgetting to call her Fanny. That was cute. I'm guessing the street interruption is to remind us that human suffering was still going on. Now the reporter is digging deeper and perhaps will reveal that Fanny might have some guilt over what happened to Juniper's family.
Comment Written 07-Mar-2022
reply by the author on 07-Mar-2022
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Yes, it comes almost to a head next scene, Helen (or is it Helene)? Thank you for taking time with this one. I'm happy you picked up on the reporter's doggedness.
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Lol. Pay no attention to the made-up name of the email address! It's Helen! Or Lena or ...
Comment from Spitfire
Using a reporter as a device to get Fannie's story told as a stage play. I am wondering if he will serve another purpose as this continues. The ending of scene three is a cliff hanger. A lot of history here about relationships and also the barter of goods.
reply by the author on 07-Mar-2022
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Using a reporter as a device to get Fannie's story told as a stage play. I am wondering if he will serve another purpose as this continues. The ending of scene three is a cliff hanger. A lot of history here about relationships and also the barter of goods.
Comment Written 07-Mar-2022
reply by the author on 07-Mar-2022
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As I mentioned to another, this comes almost to a head toward the end of scene 4. Dear Shari, you don't have to give me six stars. I'm just thrilled to have you aboard and demonstrating your keenness over what is happening.
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You deserve a six, Jay. Don't be so modest. :-)
Comment from RGstar
Great writing. What impresses me here is the truth and warmth in the dialogues, the little unseen things that are sometimes missed in dialogues because deemed unnecessary; thoughts, small minute details in conversation, in making that conversation true worthy. These things register, very well, in the reader's psyche.
Great heckling between the two ladies in trying to remember...the horse conversation very well done.
You know something strange, Even reading through, I keep having to tell myself the two main characters are not black, as the deep Southern accents remind so much of...as portrayed throughout history, unless the old hillbilly accent.
Great dialogues. The set and where things are truly forgotten...as should be. This is very much a play centered n dialogues I would think...and be difficult to get away from it.
Best wishes.
RG
reply by the author on 08-Mar-2022
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Great writing. What impresses me here is the truth and warmth in the dialogues, the little unseen things that are sometimes missed in dialogues because deemed unnecessary; thoughts, small minute details in conversation, in making that conversation true worthy. These things register, very well, in the reader's psyche.
Great heckling between the two ladies in trying to remember...the horse conversation very well done.
You know something strange, Even reading through, I keep having to tell myself the two main characters are not black, as the deep Southern accents remind so much of...as portrayed throughout history, unless the old hillbilly accent.
Great dialogues. The set and where things are truly forgotten...as should be. This is very much a play centered n dialogues I would think...and be difficult to get away from it.
Best wishes.
RG
Comment Written 07-Mar-2022
reply by the author on 08-Mar-2022
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More of the hillbilly accent, I think, RG. My wheelchair-bound grandma was from Missouri and I spent many a day listening to her yarns about growing up in the south. I think I imbibed her language like fine wine and now over the course of a hangover, it spilled out on the page. I was afraid I'd overdone it, but not according to the reviews I've gotten. Thank you so much for your generous six stars and your encouragement.
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Never overdone, great writing.
Comment from Carol Hillebrenner
This is very good and probably shocking to most people. Unfortunately, I had a friend who felt her father was absolutely right in being part of the White Rose (another name for KKK) in Louisanna. She was convinced they were doing the right thing and helping the Blacks in 1935-1950 something.
reply by the author on 08-Mar-2022
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This is very good and probably shocking to most people. Unfortunately, I had a friend who felt her father was absolutely right in being part of the White Rose (another name for KKK) in Louisanna. She was convinced they were doing the right thing and helping the Blacks in 1935-1950 something.
Comment Written 07-Mar-2022
reply by the author on 08-Mar-2022
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Your friend's specious argument reeks with self-justified hatred, doesn't it. Carol, thank you for your support of my writing. Next scene will have more discovery and a kicker at the end. I hope to see you there.
Comment from Theodore McDowell
I love the dialogue in this post. You have captured the way of talking by the reporter and Fanny perfectly. Well done. The history is slowly being pieced together.
reply by the author on 08-Mar-2022
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I love the dialogue in this post. You have captured the way of talking by the reporter and Fanny perfectly. Well done. The history is slowly being pieced together.
Comment Written 07-Mar-2022
reply by the author on 08-Mar-2022
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Tim thank you so much for your continued support of my play(s). I'm thrilled that you honored me with 6 stars. Honestly, though, it isn't necessary. A five from a talent as deep and varied as yours is reward enough. Still and all ... don't go reaching for this one back. I'll lop off your fingers.
Comment from Father Flaps
Hi Jay,
I'm glad you picked up where you left off in Chapter 2.
"Every man is a piece of the continent, a part of the main."
And Juniper is left there, for the moment, alone. Her mother lies at her feet, unconscious. And he father dangles from a rope. Quite something for a five year old.
I like the reporter's comment,
"Man--kind ... how those two words separate and grate against each other." (I think off Russians killing Russians in Ukraine.)
"It was your daddy, wasn't it, Miss Fanny? Your daddy was the neighbor who knocked on Mr. Albright's door, wasn't it? And then he walked away when the door opened and the gang was waiting." ... how would the reporter guess that? And, if true, why would he do that after Mr. Albright had been so kind to him in the past?
An excellent piece of writing here, Jay. You nailed the southern slang, too.
Keep up the good work!
Cheers,
Kimbob
reply by the author on 08-Mar-2022
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Hi Jay,
I'm glad you picked up where you left off in Chapter 2.
"Every man is a piece of the continent, a part of the main."
And Juniper is left there, for the moment, alone. Her mother lies at her feet, unconscious. And he father dangles from a rope. Quite something for a five year old.
I like the reporter's comment,
"Man--kind ... how those two words separate and grate against each other." (I think off Russians killing Russians in Ukraine.)
"It was your daddy, wasn't it, Miss Fanny? Your daddy was the neighbor who knocked on Mr. Albright's door, wasn't it? And then he walked away when the door opened and the gang was waiting." ... how would the reporter guess that? And, if true, why would he do that after Mr. Albright had been so kind to him in the past?
An excellent piece of writing here, Jay. You nailed the southern slang, too.
Keep up the good work!
Cheers,
Kimbob
Comment Written 07-Mar-2022
reply by the author on 08-Mar-2022
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There were clues that fanny strung out that the Reporter picked up on. More of her father's motive next time. It tickles me that you felt I nailed the southern slang. Thank you, my friend.
Comment from Wendy G
I don't usually read scripts, and it looks like I have come in in the middle, but even so it was compelling writing, and maintained the interest to the end. Well done!
Wendy
reply by the author on 08-Mar-2022
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I don't usually read scripts, and it looks like I have come in in the middle, but even so it was compelling writing, and maintained the interest to the end. Well done!
Wendy
Comment Written 07-Mar-2022
reply by the author on 08-Mar-2022
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Thank you, Wendy. I'm glad your interest was maintained to the end of the scene. I always appreciate having you in the audience.
Comment from nomi338
When a good person does not interfere in mob violence against someone who may or may not be guilty of some infraction, is that good person guilty of enabling the mob, or is he to be considered powerless to stop the actions of the mob. It becomes muddled when you stop to consider that he has to still live among members of the mob. If the mob does not trust him is he in danger of being harmed anyway? These are all questions that must have been a troubling aspect of the times that saw frequent acts of mob violence against blacks and those sympathetic to their plight.
reply by the author on 08-Mar-2022
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When a good person does not interfere in mob violence against someone who may or may not be guilty of some infraction, is that good person guilty of enabling the mob, or is he to be considered powerless to stop the actions of the mob. It becomes muddled when you stop to consider that he has to still live among members of the mob. If the mob does not trust him is he in danger of being harmed anyway? These are all questions that must have been a troubling aspect of the times that saw frequent acts of mob violence against blacks and those sympathetic to their plight.
Comment Written 06-Mar-2022
reply by the author on 08-Mar-2022
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Yes, I'll never be able to put myself under the skin of a black person. Civil War times was a precarious period for a black person or a white sympathizer to live. Situations are rarely monochromatic, but a blend of so many situational colors that things really do get muddled, as you say. The plight of the black man today has shifted legally, but there is still a huge gap separating the brotherhood of one race with another. I don't see that happening in our lifetime, Nolan, do you? Individually we owe it to our own spiritual sanity to keep trying. Bless you, my friend.
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I believe that God is the only one who can sort out the mess of prejudice. I would hate to have to explain to God how I felt I had the right to take the life of someone he lovingly created.
Comment from T B Botts
Well done Jay! I'm really enjoying this story. It feels like I'm right there watching the whole thing unfold. You're a good writer. Keep up the good work.
Have a blessed day.
Tom
reply by the author on 08-Mar-2022
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Well done Jay! I'm really enjoying this story. It feels like I'm right there watching the whole thing unfold. You're a good writer. Keep up the good work.
Have a blessed day.
Tom
Comment Written 06-Mar-2022
reply by the author on 08-Mar-2022
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Awww, you made my day, Tom. It's not easy to develop a following for a written stage play. I'm so happy to see you climbing aboard. And to bless it with a six! Thank you so much for that!