Quiet Lawyer
Viewing comments for Chapter 7 "Quiet Lawyer Chapter 6A"Can a broken heart be mended?
26 total reviews
Comment from Mrs. KT
Hello Barb!
I enjoyed this chapter.
I especially enjoyed learning about rattlers! Don't see many in Michigan!
The pace of your story and dialogue were well-executed.
One small edit:
"Now you understand how deep the rivalery (rivalry) goes."
Thank you for sharing!
diane
reply by the author on 22-Feb-2022
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Hello Barb!
I enjoyed this chapter.
I especially enjoyed learning about rattlers! Don't see many in Michigan!
The pace of your story and dialogue were well-executed.
One small edit:
"Now you understand how deep the rivalery (rivalry) goes."
Thank you for sharing!
diane
Comment Written 19-Feb-2022
reply by the author on 22-Feb-2022
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Thank you for the kind review. That's the second time I've fixed that word. Thank you for pointing it out.
Comment from lancellot
Another well written chapter. Unfortunately this is one I can't share with the wife. It has a snake in it and not the cute make-believe kind. This is very much your style and story. An almost kiss between adults.
I would only caution, like the MCU, be careful a style doesn't become a formula that never grows or changes from title to title.
reply by the author on 20-Feb-2022
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Another well written chapter. Unfortunately this is one I can't share with the wife. It has a snake in it and not the cute make-believe kind. This is very much your style and story. An almost kiss between adults.
I would only caution, like the MCU, be careful a style doesn't become a formula that never grows or changes from title to title.
Comment Written 19-Feb-2022
reply by the author on 20-Feb-2022
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Thank you for the warning.
Comment from judiverse
I hope you have a great birthday party for your mother, and safe trip back. The novel is going great. You show all the complexities of ranch life, including the twin foals and the rattlesnake. How scary that would be. Alexandra's having a lot of adventures. She is so busy she seems to have forgotten the lousy fiancé. judi
reply by the author on 20-Feb-2022
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I hope you have a great birthday party for your mother, and safe trip back. The novel is going great. You show all the complexities of ranch life, including the twin foals and the rattlesnake. How scary that would be. Alexandra's having a lot of adventures. She is so busy she seems to have forgotten the lousy fiancé. judi
Comment Written 19-Feb-2022
reply by the author on 20-Feb-2022
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Thank you for the kind review.
Comment from Jay Squires
They almost kissed. This was a good chapter. A lot of facts about rattlesnakes that add to the veracity of your writing. Good job.
"Once we've finished ..." [It may just be my ears, but you used "check" three times in as many sentences.
I know he lives in a house closer the main part of the ranch. [Closer TO the main ...]
Have a fine trip, and be good!
reply by the author on 22-Feb-2022
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They almost kissed. This was a good chapter. A lot of facts about rattlesnakes that add to the veracity of your writing. Good job.
"Once we've finished ..." [It may just be my ears, but you used "check" three times in as many sentences.
I know he lives in a house closer the main part of the ranch. [Closer TO the main ...]
Have a fine trip, and be good!
Comment Written 19-Feb-2022
reply by the author on 22-Feb-2022
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Thank you for the kind review. I have made those corrections.
Comment from Ulla
Oh dear, Barbara, they are not only having a close encounter wit a rattler, but the two of them are certainly also coming into close contact with each other.Noow we'll have to wait and see where it's all leading. I can't wait. Ulla:)))
reply by the author on 20-Feb-2022
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Oh dear, Barbara, they are not only having a close encounter wit a rattler, but the two of them are certainly also coming into close contact with each other.Noow we'll have to wait and see where it's all leading. I can't wait. Ulla:)))
Comment Written 19-Feb-2022
reply by the author on 20-Feb-2022
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Thank you for the kind review.
Comment from Judy Lawless
This is getting interesting, Barbara. We're learning new things a about raising horses, and taking care of rattle snakes. And Cord and Ali are quickly learning more about each other. I look forward to their "date". Well done.
I did find a few spags. I'm sure you were rushed to get this posted before your mom's party. Enjoy.
"Abby, the mare(,) has a history..."
"watching Alexandra pet the foals(,) but kept an eye on the mare..."
"They're around(,) just rare. Leave (it) to Ali to find one."
"Alexandra('s) moist eyes met Cordero's"
"After being out on the range all day, they(the) guys will be hungry."
"I know he lives in a house closer (to) the main part of the ranch." - I feel there might be something else missing from this sentence.
reply by the author on 22-Feb-2022
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This is getting interesting, Barbara. We're learning new things a about raising horses, and taking care of rattle snakes. And Cord and Ali are quickly learning more about each other. I look forward to their "date". Well done.
I did find a few spags. I'm sure you were rushed to get this posted before your mom's party. Enjoy.
"Abby, the mare(,) has a history..."
"watching Alexandra pet the foals(,) but kept an eye on the mare..."
"They're around(,) just rare. Leave (it) to Ali to find one."
"Alexandra('s) moist eyes met Cordero's"
"After being out on the range all day, they(the) guys will be hungry."
"I know he lives in a house closer (to) the main part of the ranch." - I feel there might be something else missing from this sentence.
Comment Written 19-Feb-2022
reply by the author on 22-Feb-2022
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I have made the corrections. Thank you for the catches.
Comment from royowen
They very nearly kissed, they had a marked encounter with the rattler suddenly appearing in view. I like this adventure, but I'm pretty sure that rivalry you mentioned before, is more than a rivalry of normal standards Barbara, the rattler would suggest that, beautifully written, blessings Roy
Typo : before grabbing (t)his veterinarian bag 2 : (Leave to) Ali to find one. Trust?
reply by the author on 22-Feb-2022
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They very nearly kissed, they had a marked encounter with the rattler suddenly appearing in view. I like this adventure, but I'm pretty sure that rivalry you mentioned before, is more than a rivalry of normal standards Barbara, the rattler would suggest that, beautifully written, blessings Roy
Typo : before grabbing (t)his veterinarian bag 2 : (Leave to) Ali to find one. Trust?
Comment Written 19-Feb-2022
reply by the author on 22-Feb-2022
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I have made the corrections. Thank you for the catches.
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Most welcome
Comment from Annmuma
This chapter continues the story in a very fluid fashion and maintains the readers' attention. You have a knack for the romantic view and you use it well. ann
reply by the author on 20-Feb-2022
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This chapter continues the story in a very fluid fashion and maintains the readers' attention. You have a knack for the romantic view and you use it well. ann
Comment Written 19-Feb-2022
reply by the author on 20-Feb-2022
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Thank you for the kind review.
Comment from Giftedone.Eric Wallace .
You can share make me wanna catch up on the chapters I miss people on the chapters I missed keep up the good work stay focused and dedicated thanks again for sharing have a beautiful day
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reply by the author on 20-Feb-2022
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You can share make me wanna catch up on the chapters I miss people on the chapters I missed keep up the good work stay focused and dedicated thanks again for sharing have a beautiful day
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 19-Feb-2022
reply by the author on 20-Feb-2022
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Please tell me what I can improve to get five stars. I have a five star review with only four stars. I'm confused.
Comment from nomi338
Things seem to be getting pretty hot between Cord and Ali. I just know that it won't be much longer before they kiss and who knows what will happen after that. I can easily imagine it. Good story so far.
reply by the author on 20-Feb-2022
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Things seem to be getting pretty hot between Cord and Ali. I just know that it won't be much longer before they kiss and who knows what will happen after that. I can easily imagine it. Good story so far.
Comment Written 19-Feb-2022
reply by the author on 20-Feb-2022
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Thank you for the kind review.