Football - A Novel
Viewing comments for Chapter 71 "Football Chapter 42"A mother faces life's struggles.
30 total reviews
Comment from lancellot
Another well written chapter in your slice of life story. All the kids seemed to have a good wholesome time.
note:
When Gabriel went to the laundry room, he put his arms around her. "I hear you have a problem."
- This is something I suggest you look after. When does she "not" have a problem?
reply by the author on 17-Jan-2022
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Another well written chapter in your slice of life story. All the kids seemed to have a good wholesome time.
note:
When Gabriel went to the laundry room, he put his arms around her. "I hear you have a problem."
- This is something I suggest you look after. When does she "not" have a problem?
Comment Written 16-Jan-2022
reply by the author on 17-Jan-2022
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LOL Katherine has a lot of problems. Thank you for the kind review.
Comment from judiverse
This seems like a scene from a movie. Thinking of Grease, mainly. It was excellent to bring in the fight between the two boys. I thought it was fun that Reggie got to go to the prom. You created the aura of romance around it. I went to such a small school, we didn't have a prom. Gabriel is really taking over, and I don't know if that's good for Katherine. He is definitely making his influence felt with the boys. He's not cruel like her first husband, but in a way, he's holding her back. Well, we'll see what happens. judi
reply by the author on 17-Jan-2022
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This seems like a scene from a movie. Thinking of Grease, mainly. It was excellent to bring in the fight between the two boys. I thought it was fun that Reggie got to go to the prom. You created the aura of romance around it. I went to such a small school, we didn't have a prom. Gabriel is really taking over, and I don't know if that's good for Katherine. He is definitely making his influence felt with the boys. He's not cruel like her first husband, but in a way, he's holding her back. Well, we'll see what happens. judi
Comment Written 16-Jan-2022
reply by the author on 17-Jan-2022
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Katherine will rebel shortly. Thank you for the kind review.
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You're welcome. I don't think Katherine wants to be in the same situation she was with her late husband. Gabriel may be loving, but he's also controlling. judi
Comment from Shirley McLain
Very nice chapter. The conversations had great dialogue, and everything was easy to follow. As usual, I didn't see a single mistake. You do have a talent in writing. I'm always ready to read your work. Have a great night. Shirley
reply by the author on 17-Jan-2022
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Very nice chapter. The conversations had great dialogue, and everything was easy to follow. As usual, I didn't see a single mistake. You do have a talent in writing. I'm always ready to read your work. Have a great night. Shirley
Comment Written 16-Jan-2022
reply by the author on 17-Jan-2022
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Thank you for the encouragement.
Comment from Wendy G
What a wonderful chapter, a very enjoyable read, and it continues to be interesting and makes me want more. Well done. I did pick up a few typos this time.
Wendy
Mondays, Wednesdays, Fridays, Tuesdays and Thursdays - no apostrophe needed for these.
Full stop after "My strategy works"
" ... yours and Jordan's (needs Jordan's, not Jordon's)
"You two are very handsome," (close the quotation marks)
"When will you put a ring on her finger?" (close the quotation marks)
reply by the author on 17-Jan-2022
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What a wonderful chapter, a very enjoyable read, and it continues to be interesting and makes me want more. Well done. I did pick up a few typos this time.
Wendy
Mondays, Wednesdays, Fridays, Tuesdays and Thursdays - no apostrophe needed for these.
Full stop after "My strategy works"
" ... yours and Jordan's (needs Jordan's, not Jordon's)
"You two are very handsome," (close the quotation marks)
"When will you put a ring on her finger?" (close the quotation marks)
Comment Written 16-Jan-2022
reply by the author on 17-Jan-2022
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Thank you for the catches. Corrects made. I swear some of those gremlins came and changed. LOL I appreciate the help.
Comment from Rosemary Everson1
I'm glad that things worked out for their special occasion. I like your video, too, sure goes well with your story. There is lots of dialogue in your story; fun to write.
reply by the author on 17-Jan-2022
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I'm glad that things worked out for their special occasion. I like your video, too, sure goes well with your story. There is lots of dialogue in your story; fun to write.
Comment Written 16-Jan-2022
reply by the author on 17-Jan-2022
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Thank you for the kind review.
Comment from Sankey
How's your wrist doing? This was a lovely read. A lot of lovely romance throughout. Now for the spags. Gabriel handed her (a)bouquet of flowers
I've been ask (ed) to keep it anonymous.
Note on song below...Possible song Gabriel ask(ed) his dad to play
reply by the author on 16-Jan-2022
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How's your wrist doing? This was a lovely read. A lot of lovely romance throughout. Now for the spags. Gabriel handed her (a)bouquet of flowers
I've been ask (ed) to keep it anonymous.
Note on song below...Possible song Gabriel ask(ed) his dad to play
Comment Written 16-Jan-2022
reply by the author on 16-Jan-2022
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Thank you for the kind review. I've made the changes.
Comment from Judy Lawless
I like the way you handled the "first date" for Gabriel and Katherine. Their love for each other is strong, and obvious to their friends. The dialogue throughout the night is natural. Well done.
A few little spags:
"Can I give Jordan(,) Jeremy duty? I want to spend time helping Joel." - at first I wasn't sure who was getting Jeremy duty. I think the comma clears it up.
"As Joel ran dinner in(into) the house, Katherine directed Reggie..."
"Gabriel handed her (a) bouquet of flowers..."
"As they walked inside, Gabriel hears(heard), "Coach Hudson! Over here!"
"So this it's(is) over a girl."
reply by the author on 16-Jan-2022
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I like the way you handled the "first date" for Gabriel and Katherine. Their love for each other is strong, and obvious to their friends. The dialogue throughout the night is natural. Well done.
A few little spags:
"Can I give Jordan(,) Jeremy duty? I want to spend time helping Joel." - at first I wasn't sure who was getting Jeremy duty. I think the comma clears it up.
"As Joel ran dinner in(into) the house, Katherine directed Reggie..."
"Gabriel handed her (a) bouquet of flowers..."
"As they walked inside, Gabriel hears(heard), "Coach Hudson! Over here!"
"So this it's(is) over a girl."
Comment Written 16-Jan-2022
reply by the author on 16-Jan-2022
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Thank you for the catches. I've made the changes.
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You're welcome, Barbara.
Comment from royowen
The clashing of teenagers can be a horrendous, these days they sometimes carry knives, and Gabriel's finding out as a surrogate dad, advising teens on what's appropriate, and what's not appropriate is quite disturbing for him, ready made family's would be a tough gig, I know that from blended families I've come across, well done, long episode, blessings, Roy
Typo : I guess it's official(,) we're dating 2: Turn (it) into a kiss
reply by the author on 16-Jan-2022
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The clashing of teenagers can be a horrendous, these days they sometimes carry knives, and Gabriel's finding out as a surrogate dad, advising teens on what's appropriate, and what's not appropriate is quite disturbing for him, ready made family's would be a tough gig, I know that from blended families I've come across, well done, long episode, blessings, Roy
Typo : I guess it's official(,) we're dating 2: Turn (it) into a kiss
Comment Written 16-Jan-2022
reply by the author on 16-Jan-2022
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Thank you for the kind review. Gabriel does have his hands full, but he seems to like it.
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I think so
Comment from Anne Johnston
Another good chapter. I look forward to reading your entry every week. You are still keeping us in suspense as to what will happen when Katherine tells Gabriel the secret she has been keeping.
reply by the author on 16-Jan-2022
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Another good chapter. I look forward to reading your entry every week. You are still keeping us in suspense as to what will happen when Katherine tells Gabriel the secret she has been keeping.
Comment Written 16-Jan-2022
reply by the author on 16-Jan-2022
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Thank you for the kind review.
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You are welcome, Barbara
Comment from Sandra Stoner-Mitchell
I'm loving the longer chapters, Barbara. This chapter really was romantic and yet good for the boys. Gabriel is good with them all, and will make a perfect dad when the time comes. The dance was just as I remembered many, many years ago. Well done, my friend, a lovely, homely chapter. :)) Sandra xx
reply by the author on 16-Jan-2022
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I'm loving the longer chapters, Barbara. This chapter really was romantic and yet good for the boys. Gabriel is good with them all, and will make a perfect dad when the time comes. The dance was just as I remembered many, many years ago. Well done, my friend, a lovely, homely chapter. :)) Sandra xx
Comment Written 16-Jan-2022
reply by the author on 16-Jan-2022
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Thank you for the kind review and understanding.