Eavesdroppers Are We All
Viewing comments for Chapter 4 "Eavesdroppers Are We All, Sc. 4"A Reader Caught in the Middle of an Intrigue
20 total reviews
Comment from MissMerri
Fascinating stuff! I'm always impressed by your ability to picture the scene so clearly in your own mind and then bring it to life for your readers by your skillful use of words. I feel like I'm right there, watching the characters, observing their expressions and hearing their voices. I think this is exceptional writing. MM
reply by the author on 23-Jan-2022
  |
Fascinating stuff! I'm always impressed by your ability to picture the scene so clearly in your own mind and then bring it to life for your readers by your skillful use of words. I feel like I'm right there, watching the characters, observing their expressions and hearing their voices. I think this is exceptional writing. MM
Comment Written 23-Jan-2022
reply by the author on 23-Jan-2022
-
Your words make this old man smile. The rewarded sixth star turns the smile to a giggle. It's an age thing. Thank you, Merri!
-
Hahahaha. You are quite funny.
Comment from Ric Myworld
Whew wee, talk about nonstop dialog action that makes a reader's head spin just trying to keep up, and you've outdone yourself with this chapter. Thanks for sharing.
reply by the author on 23-Jan-2022
 |
Whew wee, talk about nonstop dialog action that makes a reader's head spin just trying to keep up, and you've outdone yourself with this chapter. Thanks for sharing.
Comment Written 23-Jan-2022
reply by the author on 23-Jan-2022
-
Thank you, Ric. You've made my freaking day!
Comment from Ulla
Hi Jay, what can I say. This is so devilishly well written. The characters play up against each other as only you know how to do. How come I get to think that some of the characters are playing a role in your personal life? I may be wrong, and it doesn't matter. Cornelius, though, does have a voice in this piece. I love it. Ulla:)))
reply by the author on 23-Jan-2022
|
Hi Jay, what can I say. This is so devilishly well written. The characters play up against each other as only you know how to do. How come I get to think that some of the characters are playing a role in your personal life? I may be wrong, and it doesn't matter. Cornelius, though, does have a voice in this piece. I love it. Ulla:)))
Comment Written 23-Jan-2022
reply by the author on 23-Jan-2022
-
Oh, Ulla, if you could see how dull my life is ... and it's an increase in excitement over my previous 35 years of insurance selling. But thanks for your generous words ... oh, and the lovely 6 stars!
Comment from barbara.wilkey
I am glad Cornelius is opening up more, even if it was to a bully and Jennie was right there to support her husband. I am liking this better and better.
reply by the author on 23-Jan-2022
|
I am glad Cornelius is opening up more, even if it was to a bully and Jennie was right there to support her husband. I am liking this better and better.
Comment Written 23-Jan-2022
reply by the author on 23-Jan-2022
-
I thought you would enjoy a plot that's starting to find itself. The next one will be more defining, at least for Jackson and a few satellite characters. Thanks for reading and for the six stars!
Comment from Judy Lawless
Jay, I'm loving this. You're doing a great job of building these characters through conversations. I think we will learn many interesting things as it progresses. You're even further developing some of your previous characters. So well done!
reply by the author on 23-Jan-2022
|
Jay, I'm loving this. You're doing a great job of building these characters through conversations. I think we will learn many interesting things as it progresses. You're even further developing some of your previous characters. So well done!
Comment Written 23-Jan-2022
reply by the author on 23-Jan-2022
-
I'm happy you're enjoying it, Judy. It might be a tad self-serving to give other characters a new lease on life after they were developed more or less fully in other plays. Your six stars is a delight!
-
You're welcome, Jay. And the re-used characters are much older now, so they have developed more. :)
Comment from BethShelby
Piebald is obnoxious, but there is someone like him in every crowd. I think he is starting to get under everyone's skin. I don't remember Cililla needing a scrive in Genius in Love. Have you used her in other stories or was that one the first?
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
reply by the author on 23-Jan-2022
|
Piebald is obnoxious, but there is someone like him in every crowd. I think he is starting to get under everyone's skin. I don't remember Cililla needing a scrive in Genius in Love. Have you used her in other stories or was that one the first?
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 23-Jan-2022
reply by the author on 23-Jan-2022
-
No, Cililla didn't need a scribe in Genius in Love. But she knew right away who her "project" was. Here, she is finding out through the character's interactions and want's Gregory there to document the activity so she can review his notes later and look for an abundant accumulation of evidence about who it is. At least that's what I think she's doing.
Comment from Melodie Michelle
Exceptional script my friend! The storyline is interesting and held my attention and the characters bounce off each other nicely throughout the piece!
Thanks for sharing this well written piece with us and many blessings to you;-)
reply by the author on 23-Jan-2022
|
Exceptional script my friend! The storyline is interesting and held my attention and the characters bounce off each other nicely throughout the piece!
Thanks for sharing this well written piece with us and many blessings to you;-)
Comment Written 23-Jan-2022
reply by the author on 23-Jan-2022
-
And thank you, Melodie for being aboard. If you enjoyed this scene, you'll really enjoy the next. Your six stars makes me giggle with delight. Us old folks do that a lot. It keeps the kids away.
-
I know right, LoL! I'm 58 my friend! It was a well deserved 6 stars;-)
Blessings boo!
Comment from Alcreator Litt Dear
I like and have enjoyed the read of this script speaks very rightly human nature and acting eavesdroppers or in one word we all are eavesdroppers, age acts vitally in playing such role, orderly expressed for dramatization; well said, well done; post more. ALCREATOR LITT DEAR (D R)
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
reply by the author on 23-Jan-2022
|
I like and have enjoyed the read of this script speaks very rightly human nature and acting eavesdroppers or in one word we all are eavesdroppers, age acts vitally in playing such role, orderly expressed for dramatization; well said, well done; post more. ALCREATOR LITT DEAR (D R)
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 23-Jan-2022
reply by the author on 23-Jan-2022
-
Thank you, Alcreator. I'm happy you enjoyed it.
Comment from Father Flaps
Hi Jay,
I think we'd have heard Jackson's story of his years serving travelers at "Eat and Leave Happy Diner" if it wasn't for that big-mouth Piebald. It's a pleasure to see him exit for the Men's room. I'm sure he must embarrass his poor wife. I bet he threatened her when he asked her to marry him!
It was nice to see Cornelius speak up to try and quiet Mr. Piebald. But how about that Jennie, eh? She really put Piebald in his place. She got our Cililla dancing for joy!
But I have to say, Mr. Piebald did have some good advice for Jackson. Pretty well all the the ideas he had were "sound", (as recognized by Gregory, the Fanstory writer). Piebald is such a know-it-all, though. It figures he'd have a business card to pass around. I thought this was the pinnacle of rudeness from Mr. P...
"I'd have taken you to be a brighter man than that, Jackson." (if it wasn't for Jackson and Martha, he'd be sitting in a cold Greyhound!) This last remark led to Cornelius speaking up.
Anyhow, Jay, now I'm ready to hear Jackson's story. And perhaps the retired judge after that. I'm wondering how far into New Year's Eve it is. Is it dark yet outside?
Nicely penned!
Cheers,
Kimbob
reply by the author on 23-Jan-2022
|
Hi Jay,
I think we'd have heard Jackson's story of his years serving travelers at "Eat and Leave Happy Diner" if it wasn't for that big-mouth Piebald. It's a pleasure to see him exit for the Men's room. I'm sure he must embarrass his poor wife. I bet he threatened her when he asked her to marry him!
It was nice to see Cornelius speak up to try and quiet Mr. Piebald. But how about that Jennie, eh? She really put Piebald in his place. She got our Cililla dancing for joy!
But I have to say, Mr. Piebald did have some good advice for Jackson. Pretty well all the the ideas he had were "sound", (as recognized by Gregory, the Fanstory writer). Piebald is such a know-it-all, though. It figures he'd have a business card to pass around. I thought this was the pinnacle of rudeness from Mr. P...
"I'd have taken you to be a brighter man than that, Jackson." (if it wasn't for Jackson and Martha, he'd be sitting in a cold Greyhound!) This last remark led to Cornelius speaking up.
Anyhow, Jay, now I'm ready to hear Jackson's story. And perhaps the retired judge after that. I'm wondering how far into New Year's Eve it is. Is it dark yet outside?
Nicely penned!
Cheers,
Kimbob
Comment Written 23-Jan-2022
reply by the author on 23-Jan-2022
-
Thank you for bringing that up about the time sequence in the play. I may have to dim the lights in subsequent scenes by degrees over the previous. I kind of liked how scene four went. Scene five will increase the emotional temperature greatly. Again, thanks for your continued support, Kimbob, and the lovely six stars!
Comment from lyenochka
Well, you whetted our appetite to get Jackson's story but now we have to wait another week! Sigh. But hooray for Cornelius for speaking up and putting Mr. Piebald in his place. And hooray for Bett for keeping things in order. Great job in keep each character in his/her character!
One spelling comment about the oil & gas company names:
Phillips or Mobile or Chevron (Mobil)
reply by the author on 23-Jan-2022
|
Well, you whetted our appetite to get Jackson's story but now we have to wait another week! Sigh. But hooray for Cornelius for speaking up and putting Mr. Piebald in his place. And hooray for Bett for keeping things in order. Great job in keep each character in his/her character!
One spelling comment about the oil & gas company names:
Phillips or Mobile or Chevron (Mobil)
Comment Written 23-Jan-2022
reply by the author on 23-Jan-2022
-
Many thanks for the catch, Helen, your lovely words and of course the six stars. You are so kind!