The French Letter
Viewing comments for Chapter 29 "Kayla's Story"A Novel
29 total reviews
Comment from Shirley E Kennedy
Amazingly there is still so much life and mystery to unravel in this story.
I'm still reading at chapter 29 and my interest is piqued.
My goodness there have been so many twists and turns so far and every one leads to another.
Great stuff.
****** virtual six
Blessings
Shirley
reply by the author on 10-Jan-2019
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Amazingly there is still so much life and mystery to unravel in this story.
I'm still reading at chapter 29 and my interest is piqued.
My goodness there have been so many twists and turns so far and every one leads to another.
Great stuff.
****** virtual six
Blessings
Shirley
Comment Written 10-Jan-2019
reply by the author on 10-Jan-2019
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I hope that I shall eventually be able to untangle the storyline after all these twists and turns! LOL
Comment from Adri7enne
Moving pretty fast now. So Kayla killed Bukhari. There must be consequences to that. Sorry to be so late with this review. I haven't been on line much these days. Cold here. Lots of snow. Keeps me busy clearing the snow off my deck. Good writing, Tony. Congrats for being a candidate for the 'Book of the Month." Good luck. I'd like to see you win.
reply by the author on 20-Dec-2018
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Moving pretty fast now. So Kayla killed Bukhari. There must be consequences to that. Sorry to be so late with this review. I haven't been on line much these days. Cold here. Lots of snow. Keeps me busy clearing the snow off my deck. Good writing, Tony. Congrats for being a candidate for the 'Book of the Month." Good luck. I'd like to see you win.
Comment Written 15-Dec-2018
reply by the author on 20-Dec-2018
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Very many thanks for your review, Adrienne, and for your congratulations. Yes, it does seem that Kayla is likely to be in a spot of trouble. My best wishes to you for the holiday season. I rather envy you your snow - we're forecast 95F on Christmas Day and 103F on Boxing Day. Tony
Comment from dragonpoet
What a story this sister told. It shows that the younger sister is naive and too trusting. I guess self defense training can be useful but needs to be used carefully.
But killing him did take one danger out of their lives. Even though I haven't read the other chapters I can figure out what happened before. Which shows good writing
Congrats on placing in the contest.
Keep writing
Joan
reply by the author on 20-Dec-2018
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What a story this sister told. It shows that the younger sister is naive and too trusting. I guess self defense training can be useful but needs to be used carefully.
But killing him did take one danger out of their lives. Even though I haven't read the other chapters I can figure out what happened before. Which shows good writing
Congrats on placing in the contest.
Keep writing
Joan
Comment Written 14-Dec-2018
reply by the author on 20-Dec-2018
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Very many thanks for your review, Joan. Yes, it does seem that Kayla is a little more worldly wise than her younger sister. My best wishes to you for the holiday season. Tony
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You are most kindly welcome, Tony.
Joan
Comment from Tootsie55
Great chapter but so much for the funny money, I must have come too late. Loved the bit about the gigolo and his deflated appendage or some such. Sorry I missed this. No spags. Wish you well in the book of the month.
reply by the author on 10-Dec-2018
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Great chapter but so much for the funny money, I must have come too late. Loved the bit about the gigolo and his deflated appendage or some such. Sorry I missed this. No spags. Wish you well in the book of the month.
Comment Written 08-Dec-2018
reply by the author on 10-Dec-2018
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Very many thanks for dropping by to review this chapter. Much appreciated. Sorry that you missed the money. Perhaps next time! Best wishes, Tony
Comment from Joan E.
I liked your picture selection to help establish the mood for this chapter. I was also grateful to learn more about the context of the missing and re-found Kayla. I admired your "insects" simile and reference to "the impossible dream" plus all of your vivid descriptions. Bukhari was quite a piece of work, but I was shocked that Kayla actually, inadvertently killed him. Cheers- Joan
reply by the author on 03-Dec-2018
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I liked your picture selection to help establish the mood for this chapter. I was also grateful to learn more about the context of the missing and re-found Kayla. I admired your "insects" simile and reference to "the impossible dream" plus all of your vivid descriptions. Bukhari was quite a piece of work, but I was shocked that Kayla actually, inadvertently killed him. Cheers- Joan
Comment Written 01-Dec-2018
reply by the author on 03-Dec-2018
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Very many thanks, Joan, for your review and six star award! A bit late in replying as I've had family from overseas staying for the last few days. Things a bit more hectic than usual!
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I understand hectic, especially this time of the year. Enjoy the holiday season- Joan
Comment from Mastery
Hello, Tony. Sorry I have no sixes left for this one, my friend. Good images and dialogue throughout: I love the humor here for instance:
" He's harmless. Besides, Kayla might be quite disappointed if you damaged his crown jewels."
Suggestion: In your chapter summation before the new one: "I've found her. She's safe!" (I would leave the "she's safe" part out were I you. You really cannot assume that just because she is spotted, can you?
And: ". Her face fell." (There must be a better way to say this, Tony. How about, "He eyes cast down in obvious disappointment."
Good job, my friend. Bob
reply by the author on 29-Nov-2018
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Hello, Tony. Sorry I have no sixes left for this one, my friend. Good images and dialogue throughout: I love the humor here for instance:
" He's harmless. Besides, Kayla might be quite disappointed if you damaged his crown jewels."
Suggestion: In your chapter summation before the new one: "I've found her. She's safe!" (I would leave the "she's safe" part out were I you. You really cannot assume that just because she is spotted, can you?
And: ". Her face fell." (There must be a better way to say this, Tony. How about, "He eyes cast down in obvious disappointment."
Good job, my friend. Bob
Comment Written 28-Nov-2018
reply by the author on 29-Nov-2018
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Thanks, Bob, for your review and suggestions. Much appreciated, as always. Tony
Comment from rspoet
Hello Tony,
"Gadzooks!" Pretty much sums it up.
O what tangle webs we weave when first we write a mystery.
Maybe this whole pursuit of Helen was about finding Kayla.
If it was all over the front page of the Bangkok Post
then Madame Durant surely knows,
and a bit surprising that Helen didn't see or hear about it.
Nevertheless, an excellent chapter in the mystery of the French Letter
which makes me wonder if the letter may re-enter the story at some point?
It is the title of the story.
Very well done
Robert
reply by the author on 28-Nov-2018
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Hello Tony,
"Gadzooks!" Pretty much sums it up.
O what tangle webs we weave when first we write a mystery.
Maybe this whole pursuit of Helen was about finding Kayla.
If it was all over the front page of the Bangkok Post
then Madame Durant surely knows,
and a bit surprising that Helen didn't see or hear about it.
Nevertheless, an excellent chapter in the mystery of the French Letter
which makes me wonder if the letter may re-enter the story at some point?
It is the title of the story.
Very well done
Robert
Comment Written 28-Nov-2018
reply by the author on 28-Nov-2018
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Thanks for your continued encouragement and for the six stars. I?m beginning to wonder what?s happened to that French letter, too. It looks as though I?m losing the plot a bit!
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I'm quite intrigued by your story.
Comment from Pam (respa)
-Another good chapter, Tony, that
shows us the reunion of Helen and Kayla,
as she shares her experience.
-You lead up to that well with
the anticipation of meeting Kayla.
-Scaramouche adds the comic
relief before the story gets serious.
-We learn a little more of Jeanne
as Kayla begins her story.
-Kayla and Helen each have their own
views of whether or not Jeanne can be trusted,
and her possible involvement with the mafia.
-Kayla is not treated well, manages
to escape, but not without consequence.
-Legally, I think it would be self defense, but
with the mafia involved, it is another story.
-I think we all agree with Helen
at the end: "...and then what?"
reply by the author on 28-Nov-2018
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-Another good chapter, Tony, that
shows us the reunion of Helen and Kayla,
as she shares her experience.
-You lead up to that well with
the anticipation of meeting Kayla.
-Scaramouche adds the comic
relief before the story gets serious.
-We learn a little more of Jeanne
as Kayla begins her story.
-Kayla and Helen each have their own
views of whether or not Jeanne can be trusted,
and her possible involvement with the mafia.
-Kayla is not treated well, manages
to escape, but not without consequence.
-Legally, I think it would be self defense, but
with the mafia involved, it is another story.
-I think we all agree with Helen
at the end: "...and then what?"
Comment Written 28-Nov-2018
reply by the author on 28-Nov-2018
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Thanks, Pam. I appreciate the six stars and your kind words. I may not be posting again for a few days as we have my sister-in-law and one of my nieces coming to stay for about a week
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You are very welcome and deserving, Tony. Hope you enjoy your company. I guess Charles, Helen, and Jeanne will be on vacation, too🙂
Comment from Pearl Edwards
His monocle fell from his eye, dangling from a silken sash, flaccid as the appendage of an aging gigolo - great sentence, love it.
Well Kayla had quite a story to tell about her brush with Bukhari. Another good chapter Tony,
cheers,
valda
reply by the author on 28-Nov-2018
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His monocle fell from his eye, dangling from a silken sash, flaccid as the appendage of an aging gigolo - great sentence, love it.
Well Kayla had quite a story to tell about her brush with Bukhari. Another good chapter Tony,
cheers,
valda
Comment Written 28-Nov-2018
reply by the author on 28-Nov-2018
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Thanks again, Valda. Glad you enjoyed my lewd imagery!
Comment from Pantygynt
When you eventually complete the first draft of this story - forgive me but it does seem as if you are posting as you write and possibly have little idea where it is all going to end up - I am sure you will have great fun doing the edits. One of the things that will doubtless occupy your time is the character of Charles Brandon himself. It does seem to vary between Bulldog Drummond and James Bond and perhaps 'The Saint' especially when he comes out with the remark of the week:
'His monocle fell from his eye, dangling from a silken sash, flaccid as the appendage of an aging gigolo.'
A remark like that is wasted between the covers of a thriller, but it did allow me to enjoy the episode just that bit more.
reply by the author on 28-Nov-2018
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When you eventually complete the first draft of this story - forgive me but it does seem as if you are posting as you write and possibly have little idea where it is all going to end up - I am sure you will have great fun doing the edits. One of the things that will doubtless occupy your time is the character of Charles Brandon himself. It does seem to vary between Bulldog Drummond and James Bond and perhaps 'The Saint' especially when he comes out with the remark of the week:
'His monocle fell from his eye, dangling from a silken sash, flaccid as the appendage of an aging gigolo.'
A remark like that is wasted between the covers of a thriller, but it did allow me to enjoy the episode just that bit more.
Comment Written 27-Nov-2018
reply by the author on 28-Nov-2018
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You are right. This is wandering about all over the place at the moment. One might say that I?m losing the plot.
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Yopu said it. But probably not irretrievably. If you want you can revise it later and knit it all together. It is still a good yarn or rather a series of mini adventures.