Willing Hearts
Viewing comments for Chapter 44 "Chapter 27 A Willing Hearts"Solve a crime and fall in love at the same time?
10 total reviews
Comment from lancellot
Written and edited well. Marc just happens to show up and the right time after how long? I mean no harm, but I would advise against 2D men harassing your female protagonist (for some reason) and not taking no for an answer. This happens often. Not saying you can't do what you want in your stories, just something to think about.
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Written and edited well. Marc just happens to show up and the right time after how long? I mean no harm, but I would advise against 2D men harassing your female protagonist (for some reason) and not taking no for an answer. This happens often. Not saying you can't do what you want in your stories, just something to think about.
Comment Written 17-Nov-2024
Comment from judiverse
Mateo would have to show up at an inappropriate time. How dare he suggest she re-home Jaster? That would be a deal breaker. Why didn't he know about the dog before this? Noah might have run his proposal by Sami before approaching her father, but he was being admirably old-fashioned. You end the post without letting us in on what Laura has to say, although she is thankful for Noah taking care of Sami. Wonder what Noah has in mind about his future career plans? He seems to have something in mind. Notes: What are you two up to, not too. Alike, not a like. Great work with this novel. I admire the development. judi
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Mateo would have to show up at an inappropriate time. How dare he suggest she re-home Jaster? That would be a deal breaker. Why didn't he know about the dog before this? Noah might have run his proposal by Sami before approaching her father, but he was being admirably old-fashioned. You end the post without letting us in on what Laura has to say, although she is thankful for Noah taking care of Sami. Wonder what Noah has in mind about his future career plans? He seems to have something in mind. Notes: What are you two up to, not too. Alike, not a like. Great work with this novel. I admire the development. judi
Comment Written 17-Nov-2024
Comment from Karen Cherry Threadgill
Aha! This is the slight wrinkle you mentioned. Marc the narcissist. But, there may also be trouble, because Noah is working on making major life changes without including Sami in the conversation. I see troubles ahead. Good writing. I sure like your stuff. Karen
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Aha! This is the slight wrinkle you mentioned. Marc the narcissist. But, there may also be trouble, because Noah is working on making major life changes without including Sami in the conversation. I see troubles ahead. Good writing. I sure like your stuff. Karen
Comment Written 17-Nov-2024
Comment from nor84
I haven't been following the book, so he may not quite understand what's going on, but this is well written and deserves five stars and so here they are.
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I haven't been following the book, so he may not quite understand what's going on, but this is well written and deserves five stars and so here they are.
Comment Written 17-Nov-2024
Comment from jim vecchio
Seems like things are going to come to an end. I will miss Noah and Sami. Will there be more with Marc, or is he done? Thank you for this blend of action, human interest, and romance.
reply by the author on 17-Nov-2024
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Seems like things are going to come to an end. I will miss Noah and Sami. Will there be more with Marc, or is he done? Thank you for this blend of action, human interest, and romance.
Comment Written 17-Nov-2024
reply by the author on 17-Nov-2024
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Marc is done. I just wanted to make sure there was closure with him. Thank you for the kind review.
Comment from Lana Marie
I've only read this part of your story so far and it kept my attention throughout the whole thing. I was able to picture each scene even though I came on it right now. It helped to read the description of all your characters so then I understood what the story is about.
I did notice a missing word In the sentence below. I put parentheses where it is missing.... (be)
"Mom, are you supposed to( ). standing?"
When I have a chance, I look forward to Reading more of your story as it is such an important subject. I'm on a road trip right now and even in those Rest stops along the highways, there are advertisements with phone numbers for people who are needing help to get out of being sex trafficked.
Keep on writing,
Lana
reply by the author on 17-Nov-2024
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I've only read this part of your story so far and it kept my attention throughout the whole thing. I was able to picture each scene even though I came on it right now. It helped to read the description of all your characters so then I understood what the story is about.
I did notice a missing word In the sentence below. I put parentheses where it is missing.... (be)
"Mom, are you supposed to( ). standing?"
When I have a chance, I look forward to Reading more of your story as it is such an important subject. I'm on a road trip right now and even in those Rest stops along the highways, there are advertisements with phone numbers for people who are needing help to get out of being sex trafficked.
Keep on writing,
Lana
Comment Written 17-Nov-2024
reply by the author on 17-Nov-2024
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Thank you for dropping by and leaving this kind review. I hope you return. I have fixed that area.
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You're welcome 😄
Comment from royowen
It only happened to me once, when I broke up with a girl, she gave me my marching orders, it really hurt, but one can't harass them, it was a good decision, I met Elaine, she did me a favour, a God thing. People like Marc are rare, but real, beautifully written Barbara, , blessings Roy
Typo: Mom, are you supposed to (be) standing.
reply by the author on 17-Nov-2024
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It only happened to me once, when I broke up with a girl, she gave me my marching orders, it really hurt, but one can't harass them, it was a good decision, I met Elaine, she did me a favour, a God thing. People like Marc are rare, but real, beautifully written Barbara, , blessings Roy
Typo: Mom, are you supposed to (be) standing.
Comment Written 17-Nov-2024
reply by the author on 17-Nov-2024
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Thank you for the catch. I have made the correction. I appreciate you.
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Pleasure
Comment from Rick Gardner
Very good, the characters show their real selves quickly. Love and danger hidden in this passage. Reminds me of an old song by Elton John, tracts for the same movie "Friends", some words from the movie apply to your story, It's funny how young lovers start as friends, happened to me, have a friend and lover for 45 years now. I think she still loves me. The movie still available, may help your story line.
reply by the author on 17-Nov-2024
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Very good, the characters show their real selves quickly. Love and danger hidden in this passage. Reminds me of an old song by Elton John, tracts for the same movie "Friends", some words from the movie apply to your story, It's funny how young lovers start as friends, happened to me, have a friend and lover for 45 years now. I think she still loves me. The movie still available, may help your story line.
Comment Written 17-Nov-2024
reply by the author on 17-Nov-2024
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I'm sure she does love you. Thank you for dropping by and leaving this kind review.
Comment from estory
in this chapter you paint the contrasting pictures of Marc and Noah and they are the symbols of the dreaded controlling figure and the perfect, deffering man. Noah even asks her father for permission to marry Sami. Meanwhile, Marc speaks for her, thrusts the flowers in her hand, even though she is allergic to them. They seem a bit too much like caricatures to me, but they do serve your purpose here as symbols. Fleshing out characters and making them three dimensional is hard, and I am struggling to perfect this myself. There are a lot of symbolist characters in my novel. But the dialogue is crisp, as always, and there is that tension you injected at the end when Sami walks in as her mother mentions Noah has made it clear to her parents, and not to her, that he wants to propose. I can hear the protest and see the temper tantrum to come. estory
reply by the author on 17-Nov-2024
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in this chapter you paint the contrasting pictures of Marc and Noah and they are the symbols of the dreaded controlling figure and the perfect, deffering man. Noah even asks her father for permission to marry Sami. Meanwhile, Marc speaks for her, thrusts the flowers in her hand, even though she is allergic to them. They seem a bit too much like caricatures to me, but they do serve your purpose here as symbols. Fleshing out characters and making them three dimensional is hard, and I am struggling to perfect this myself. There are a lot of symbolist characters in my novel. But the dialogue is crisp, as always, and there is that tension you injected at the end when Sami walks in as her mother mentions Noah has made it clear to her parents, and not to her, that he wants to propose. I can hear the protest and see the temper tantrum to come. estory
Comment Written 17-Nov-2024
reply by the author on 17-Nov-2024
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Thank you for the kind review.
Comment from nomi338
Thank you for introducing Marc. What a total jerk, guys kike Marc make decent guys like Noah all the more rare and precious. I have no doubt or fear that Noah will deliver a message to Marc that should come across loud and clear, Stay the heck away or else!
reply by the author on 17-Nov-2024
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Thank you for introducing Marc. What a total jerk, guys kike Marc make decent guys like Noah all the more rare and precious. I have no doubt or fear that Noah will deliver a message to Marc that should come across loud and clear, Stay the heck away or else!
Comment Written 17-Nov-2024
reply by the author on 17-Nov-2024
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Noah won't allow him to bother Sami, at all. He's already proven his protection of her. Thank you for the kind review.