Tucker - (Part -1)
An offer, too good to refuse . . . ?68 total reviews
Comment from Patrick Bernardy
Hey Ric!
Okay, I have scrolled deep into your portfolio to find the beginning of your novel. It all starts here. (I assume). Overall, I am mightily intrigued by the circumstance of this first scene. A disguised "Waffle House" is not the kind of place one usually finds a pimped-out stretch limo containing a rich guy with thug bodyguards (at least not in MY Kentucky! *laughs*), so you have the reader's attention right off the bat with the uniqueness of the setting. Tuck is fascinating in his malevolent lack of friendliness. I can already tell he will have a "hard-boiled" quality about him, all rigid sense of honor and bad general attitude melding into a John McClane-hero.
Here are some random thoughts:
---I loved seeing Daniel taken down a bunch of pegs. I could tell by his reactions to Tuck's diatribes that he is desperate, or he may have allowed his bodyguards to beat the crap out of him for his insolence. This fact not only does a great job of building character in Tuck, but becomes the single-most important aspect that makes the reader wonder what exactly Daniel wants Tuck to do for him to take all that verbal berating from him. It's compelling.
--- Every writer seems to have a favorite punctuation style, almost like a nervous tic that is pervasive throughout their writing. Yours is no doubt the hyphenated compound adjective modifying a noun. They are EVERYWHERE! (Mine is the em dash!) These stylistic calling-cards help to create your originality to the reader.
---"Sorry, Tuck. I didn't know you were so touchy or is it feminine sensitivity?" --Wow. I would have bitch-slapped him, "gladiator" bodyguards or not. Just sayin'. Feminine sensitivity?
---"he called The Big Snapper, probably a shared reference to a past girlfriend." Haha! Clever!
---"Blood rushing through his reddened face like a rollercoaster on fire." This is an excellent sentence with an evocative simile to paint the picture for the reader.
---"Its blacked-out windows kept anyone from seeing inside, while fluorescent-blue lighting illuminated the wheel wells, undercarriage, and the blacktop beneath to the extent it resembled a revolving carnival ride." --Masterful writing in this descriptive sentence.
I am excited to find out what Daniel wants from Tuck, and also what Tuck finds out about Daniel in his investigating. I have to admit, that if I was Tuck, it would be hard to refuse the new office, all the money, and the convenient state licenses. But I get already that Tuck is not interested in assisting anyone on the bad side of the law.
Patrick
reply by the author on 11-Sep-2024
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Hey Ric!
Okay, I have scrolled deep into your portfolio to find the beginning of your novel. It all starts here. (I assume). Overall, I am mightily intrigued by the circumstance of this first scene. A disguised "Waffle House" is not the kind of place one usually finds a pimped-out stretch limo containing a rich guy with thug bodyguards (at least not in MY Kentucky! *laughs*), so you have the reader's attention right off the bat with the uniqueness of the setting. Tuck is fascinating in his malevolent lack of friendliness. I can already tell he will have a "hard-boiled" quality about him, all rigid sense of honor and bad general attitude melding into a John McClane-hero.
Here are some random thoughts:
---I loved seeing Daniel taken down a bunch of pegs. I could tell by his reactions to Tuck's diatribes that he is desperate, or he may have allowed his bodyguards to beat the crap out of him for his insolence. This fact not only does a great job of building character in Tuck, but becomes the single-most important aspect that makes the reader wonder what exactly Daniel wants Tuck to do for him to take all that verbal berating from him. It's compelling.
--- Every writer seems to have a favorite punctuation style, almost like a nervous tic that is pervasive throughout their writing. Yours is no doubt the hyphenated compound adjective modifying a noun. They are EVERYWHERE! (Mine is the em dash!) These stylistic calling-cards help to create your originality to the reader.
---"Sorry, Tuck. I didn't know you were so touchy or is it feminine sensitivity?" --Wow. I would have bitch-slapped him, "gladiator" bodyguards or not. Just sayin'. Feminine sensitivity?
---"he called The Big Snapper, probably a shared reference to a past girlfriend." Haha! Clever!
---"Blood rushing through his reddened face like a rollercoaster on fire." This is an excellent sentence with an evocative simile to paint the picture for the reader.
---"Its blacked-out windows kept anyone from seeing inside, while fluorescent-blue lighting illuminated the wheel wells, undercarriage, and the blacktop beneath to the extent it resembled a revolving carnival ride." --Masterful writing in this descriptive sentence.
I am excited to find out what Daniel wants from Tuck, and also what Tuck finds out about Daniel in his investigating. I have to admit, that if I was Tuck, it would be hard to refuse the new office, all the money, and the convenient state licenses. But I get already that Tuck is not interested in assisting anyone on the bad side of the law.
Patrick
Comment Written 10-Sep-2024
reply by the author on 11-Sep-2024
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DAMN. Or should I have said Shazam. You spent more time reviewing this chapter than I did writing it. I can't thank you enough for your time and comments. I don't start stories with a plot or an outline. To me, stories about characters; so, when a character idea comes to mind, I just start writing, one sentence after another, letting each paragraph lead me to what happens next. I'm sure to many it's like mass confusion--especially, when I paint a character into a corner with no way out--then, keep searching for an outlet, or quit, and take a shot a the wastepaper can. Oh, and thanks for pointing out all my hyphenated compound adjectives modifying nouns. Everything I've read says stop using adjectives altogether, but I've never been one to listen. In my mind, rules are made to be broken, which as I'm sure you have already noticed, I do regularly. Mostly by ignorance, but occasionally in defiance. Thank you so much for your generous review, comments, and encouragement. It's greatly appreciated!
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Hey Ric!
I do get kinda sick of "people" spouting about how one should do this or do that. Every writer's process is unique. I have not met another one yet that is even close to mine. I have never written an outline in my life. I HAVE, on the other hand, had several moments of perfectly tuned inspiration and serendipity where a chapter, a poem, or a story has written itself THROUGH me, such was the power of that "moment." So, you start with an idea, and just let it rip. As you said, sometimes it goes nowhere, but sometimes it blossoms, and rarely it can even take the wheel and drive itself for awhile. So yes, all of that is to say I agree with you 100%: rules are meant to be broken. Your compound adjectives are your STYLE. Hemingway had a style. Steinbeck had a style. The pedantic types who think they know how everyone should write conveniently excuse the masters for their heterodoxy, while telling people like us what we should and should not do. Keep doing what you're doing, Ric. Writing is a craft, but it is also an ARTFORM. And you can't spell this out to someone like math equations. Anyway, I'm rambling. Talk to you again soon, my friend!
Patrick
Comment from Tom Horonzy
I sort of feel as if I am reading a Mickey Spillane novelette. I can visualize the characters, and the come what may attitude of Tuck with the greasy spoon Snappy bistro. Chapter one - now read. On to two. Hey, I'll get twenty member cents by the time I am finished.
reply by the author on 20-May-2024
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I sort of feel as if I am reading a Mickey Spillane novelette. I can visualize the characters, and the come what may attitude of Tuck with the greasy spoon Snappy bistro. Chapter one - now read. On to two. Hey, I'll get twenty member cents by the time I am finished.
Comment Written 20-May-2024
reply by the author on 20-May-2024
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ROFL! I kind of figured you might be able to picture this waffle house segment. I can't believe you are going all the way back and reading this whole thing. So, now the pressure is on me. I hope it can at least entertain you a little bit. Much appreciated!
Comment from Esther Brown
Well, I saw the final chapter and figured might as well start from the beginning. Tuck reminds me of Jack Reacher type hero with a red neck. Think I might like it. Esther
reply by the author on 19-May-2024
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Well, I saw the final chapter and figured might as well start from the beginning. Tuck reminds me of Jack Reacher type hero with a red neck. Think I might like it. Esther
Comment Written 19-May-2024
reply by the author on 19-May-2024
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Thanks for taking time out to read my foolishness. Jack Reacher is a highly polished ex-CIA type, but Tucker, is just an old Louisiana country boy who is streetwise. I'm a fiction guy who thinks charters make the story, and plot is just what the characters do. But there is plenty of underlying answers, I just don't like to spend a lot of time on it, by just giving readers enough to let them make up their own minds. LOL. Much appreciated!
Comment from Marilyn Hamilton
After what you did for me I have finally gotten around to starting your Tucker series. Very well-writeen and enjoyable. You got my attention early and I am invested to find out where it goes. I believe I have met tucker in many forms when I lived in Florida and I also recognize a Waffle House for the same reason. The description was believeable but if you really want to add depth to your imagery you need to add a roach crawling on one of the walls. lol Well done.
reply by the author on 03-May-2024
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After what you did for me I have finally gotten around to starting your Tucker series. Very well-writeen and enjoyable. You got my attention early and I am invested to find out where it goes. I believe I have met tucker in many forms when I lived in Florida and I also recognize a Waffle House for the same reason. The description was believeable but if you really want to add depth to your imagery you need to add a roach crawling on one of the walls. lol Well done.
Comment Written 03-May-2024
reply by the author on 03-May-2024
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Thank you so much, Marilyn, for going back to read my foolishness that offers nothing in return. I think there are a number of my shorter stories you might like better. Lingering Devotion takes place in Florida and only has four parts. But come to think of it, parts of Tucker does too. LOL. Yes, I don't do Waffle House. Much appreciated!
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you may not have noticed but mine offers zip in return as well lol
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Well, honestly, I hadn't noticed. I don't read for the FanDollars. I read what entertains me. I have $15,639.49 FanDollars accumulated since I read much more than I write. Maybe one day soon I'll post five or six stories a day and wear people completely out. :-)
Comment from Jamison Brown
Tuck is my kind of guy. Farnsworth is easy to dislike. This is the perfect setting for a conflict.
There are many questions waiting to be answered: 1) Where did the Farnsworth fortune come from? 2) What is Tuck's real backstory? 3) What is Tuck's relationship with Megan?
The setup is well-implemented and full of intrigue; it is not an easy thing to do.
This story is off to a great start! It deserves the recognition it has received. I am looking forward to reading Chapter 2 and catching up.
Great storytelling, Ric! - Jamison
reply by the author on 18-Nov-2023
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Tuck is my kind of guy. Farnsworth is easy to dislike. This is the perfect setting for a conflict.
There are many questions waiting to be answered: 1) Where did the Farnsworth fortune come from? 2) What is Tuck's real backstory? 3) What is Tuck's relationship with Megan?
The setup is well-implemented and full of intrigue; it is not an easy thing to do.
This story is off to a great start! It deserves the recognition it has received. I am looking forward to reading Chapter 2 and catching up.
Great storytelling, Ric! - Jamison
Comment Written 18-Nov-2023
reply by the author on 18-Nov-2023
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Thank you so much, Jamison, for your special six-star review, comments and kind words. All of your questions have been answered previously. This is chapter-9 of the story. I plan to end it in the next chapter of 10. It?s time to move on. Much appreciated!
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No worries. I will likely finish reading until the end. It's a good story. - Jamison
Comment from Karen Cherry Threadgill
I humbly beg your pardon. I have used up my sixes already, and,(gulp) I am in absolute awe at how immensely good you are. I was gob-smacked, overwhelmed. Your writing grabbed me by the collar, and put me on the booth with them. I rather think Daniel overdoes the "Polo"" don't you think?
And, not to be rude, but "Tuck" could use some. I was there. I was disgusted by the way he ate. He needs to chew his food more.
I can't wait any longer to read more. You are simply sublime. Got reading to do.
Karen
reply by the author on 16-Aug-2023
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I humbly beg your pardon. I have used up my sixes already, and,(gulp) I am in absolute awe at how immensely good you are. I was gob-smacked, overwhelmed. Your writing grabbed me by the collar, and put me on the booth with them. I rather think Daniel overdoes the "Polo"" don't you think?
And, not to be rude, but "Tuck" could use some. I was there. I was disgusted by the way he ate. He needs to chew his food more.
I can't wait any longer to read more. You are simply sublime. Got reading to do.
Karen
Comment Written 16-Aug-2023
reply by the author on 16-Aug-2023
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Thank you so much, Karen, for all your kind words and the generous review. I'm so happy that you like traveling along in my make-believe world with me. And yes, I'm a nut case. An old dude whose only adventure is sitting in my La-Z-Boy dreaming up what I wish I was doing. Thank you again for taking time out to read my foolishness. Much appreciated!
Comment from irishauthorme
Yeah, I should have read this first chapter first, but I still have a pretty good idea of what's going on. Tucker played it Correcto Mundo, stiffing Farnsworth, thus convincing Mr. F that Tuck is the real deal, just the tough guy type Mrf. F needs.
Tuck starting out as a debt collector could have been an initial test to see if Tuck could handle all Mr. F had in mind for him.
Also, perhaps Tuck is needed to ferret out someone looking to take over Farnsworth's empire?
Goos work,
irish
reply by the author on 09-May-2022
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Yeah, I should have read this first chapter first, but I still have a pretty good idea of what's going on. Tucker played it Correcto Mundo, stiffing Farnsworth, thus convincing Mr. F that Tuck is the real deal, just the tough guy type Mrf. F needs.
Tuck starting out as a debt collector could have been an initial test to see if Tuck could handle all Mr. F had in mind for him.
Also, perhaps Tuck is needed to ferret out someone looking to take over Farnsworth's empire?
Goos work,
irish
Comment Written 09-May-2022
reply by the author on 09-May-2022
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Thank you so much, Irish, for going back to read part-1. I do wish you'd read it first, which might have explained part-2 a little better for you. But I appreciate that you read it at all. I'll be looking to see something you post in the near future. Much appreciated!
Comment from LJbutterfly
This is incredible! I don't know where I was in September that I missed this. I just saw part two, and had to double back before I read it. I always love your metaphors and the suspense built into your stories. This is definitely gripping. I'm moving on to part two.
reply by the author on 09-May-2022
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This is incredible! I don't know where I was in September that I missed this. I just saw part two, and had to double back before I read it. I always love your metaphors and the suspense built into your stories. This is definitely gripping. I'm moving on to part two.
Comment Written 08-May-2022
reply by the author on 09-May-2022
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Thank you so much, Lorraine, for going back to read this first part. I hope it was worth your time and made chapter-2 a little more understandable. I can't thank you enough for your kind and generous review. I appreciate YOU!
Comment from John Ciarmello
This is an incredible write, Sir Ric. The character "Tuck" is quirky and original. I cheered him on every chance I got. I loved the two thug bodyguards. I could see them standing there, arms folded. I felt their intimidation. Farnworth on the other hand reminded me of a silver spooner. I thought he was a bit annoying, but essential. Great work my new friend.
reply by the author on 16-Feb-2022
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This is an incredible write, Sir Ric. The character "Tuck" is quirky and original. I cheered him on every chance I got. I loved the two thug bodyguards. I could see them standing there, arms folded. I felt their intimidation. Farnworth on the other hand reminded me of a silver spooner. I thought he was a bit annoying, but essential. Great work my new friend.
Comment Written 15-Feb-2022
reply by the author on 16-Feb-2022
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Hey, John, thanks a million for going back and reading a nonpaying older post. And most of all, I'm glad you enjoyed it. You pegged Farnsworth, and he only gets worse as the story goes along. Right now I haven't decided whether to make the story into a book or just add a few short stories to move it along. Sorry it has taken me so long to reply. I've been in California and just got home. Gone for eight days, now I've got to dig in and try to catch up on reviewing. LOL. Thanks you so much for another encouraging review!
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You could have taken me to sunny Cal. I'm somewhat small and easy to pack, lol. Welcome back! Now get to work, sir.
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LOL. Glad to be back. Thank you, sir!
Comment from lauralumummu
Great story! Yes, you should write a book. The characters are unique and interesting. Thanks for the bigger font. Well written. All the best, Laura.-----
reply by the author on 02-Nov-2021
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Great story! Yes, you should write a book. The characters are unique and interesting. Thanks for the bigger font. Well written. All the best, Laura.-----
Comment Written 01-Nov-2021
reply by the author on 02-Nov-2021
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Thanks, Laura, for taking time to read my story. Your kind words and generous review are greatly appreciated. And it's always nice when someone likes, and gets, the quirky characters that I tend to create. Thanks, again! Ric