Bluejay Fallen
They Neither Sow, Nor Do They Reap52 total reviews
Comment from padumachitta
Oh Jay. This is not just a true story, it is a good story. It is so poignant, that love changes and life changes. It is tht bittersweet line being being in love, and loving, and the hostory and the hearts, that beat and chnage about and re connect but like a sort of jumbled mix of song and beat and time.
I ate my Tex Mex, and never wavered to find Jose...leaving you and your ex sitting at a cold topped table, ...no I stayed throught the meal and when the story ended ordered a Mexian custard cake and a strong cup of mexican hot chocolate and pondered the too many relationships that just sort of petered out and became more like commas than exclamation marks.
reply by the author on 19-Feb-2021
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Oh Jay. This is not just a true story, it is a good story. It is so poignant, that love changes and life changes. It is tht bittersweet line being being in love, and loving, and the hostory and the hearts, that beat and chnage about and re connect but like a sort of jumbled mix of song and beat and time.
I ate my Tex Mex, and never wavered to find Jose...leaving you and your ex sitting at a cold topped table, ...no I stayed throught the meal and when the story ended ordered a Mexian custard cake and a strong cup of mexican hot chocolate and pondered the too many relationships that just sort of petered out and became more like commas than exclamation marks.
Comment Written 19-Feb-2021
reply by the author on 19-Feb-2021
Comment from Susan Larson
I think this poem
Is an excellent story . The dialogue flows naturally. The grammar is perfect . I like your line Or he was busy counting the hairs on someone's head." It added some levity to the story. I'll be looking for your name in the list of contest winners.
reply by the author on 19-Feb-2021
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I think this poem
Is an excellent story . The dialogue flows naturally. The grammar is perfect . I like your line Or he was busy counting the hairs on someone's head." It added some levity to the story. I'll be looking for your name in the list of contest winners.
Comment Written 19-Feb-2021
reply by the author on 19-Feb-2021
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Awwww, Susan ... you are so sweet. I don't expect to see myself on the podium. I don't do well in these kind of contests and there are a lot of good entries.
Comment from Dana Starr
Wow. I'm not even sure what to write. There's a nothingness in my head after reading your true story. Don't get me wrong; it was very well-written. As a matter of fact, it's so well-written that you managed to convey an incredible amount of feeling by not writing about feelings at all. That's my take on it at any rate.
reply by the author on 19-Feb-2021
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Wow. I'm not even sure what to write. There's a nothingness in my head after reading your true story. Don't get me wrong; it was very well-written. As a matter of fact, it's so well-written that you managed to convey an incredible amount of feeling by not writing about feelings at all. That's my take on it at any rate.
Comment Written 19-Feb-2021
reply by the author on 19-Feb-2021
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Ha! I didn't discuss much on the feelings, did I. I'm thrilled that you went beyond that and found the true feelings somewhere beneath it all.
Comment from Wendy G
What a story! Told with clarity, honesty and skill, and so very well written. It's not just the story of the blue jay fallen, but of marriage, love, and what love is, of relationships and what makes them meaningful, and of communication. Thanks for sharing.
reply by the author on 19-Feb-2021
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What a story! Told with clarity, honesty and skill, and so very well written. It's not just the story of the blue jay fallen, but of marriage, love, and what love is, of relationships and what makes them meaningful, and of communication. Thanks for sharing.
Comment Written 19-Feb-2021
reply by the author on 19-Feb-2021
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Thank you so much, Wendy. Your words mean a lot to me. It wasn't a comfortable place to be ... with those feelings. I'm glad you found some value in it.
Comment from Sankey
Wow, old friend, what a great write. It was interesting how she was on about church and you were off gazing at the birds then at the end you both came to the same subject.
So good to see you back in here again. A few old FSers have returned. I keep leaving but someone pays for me to stay! The website where I had that song of yours I put to music has gone the server closed down. Trying to get another place for it. Not sure you knew but sadly I am profoundly deaf now.
reply by the author on 19-Feb-2021
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Wow, old friend, what a great write. It was interesting how she was on about church and you were off gazing at the birds then at the end you both came to the same subject.
So good to see you back in here again. A few old FSers have returned. I keep leaving but someone pays for me to stay! The website where I had that song of yours I put to music has gone the server closed down. Trying to get another place for it. Not sure you knew but sadly I am profoundly deaf now.
Comment Written 19-Feb-2021
reply by the author on 19-Feb-2021
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No, Geoff, I had no idea you were deaf. I'm saddened to hear that. I have been whipping up the Trining part one in hopes of publishing it sometime this year. I hate to go the Amazon route but, given my age, it's probably the best way to go. Thanks for reading,Geoff, your kind words and the stars.
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I got a Nikon Coolpix a1000 for a good price through Aus Amazon still with 12 months warranty so I was pleased with that. Bought with some economy incentive money from our Government so twice as good. An old reviewer from my early days on FS is back and very kindly gradually reviewing my autobiography rewardless...go figure! Cheers mate.
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So you are a photography buff... So, your autobiography is called "Rewardless"? If it is, let me know and I'll take a gander at some of it. At my age, and feeling the crunch of time, I won't be able to read it from beginning to end, but I can read enough to get the flavor of it.
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Sorry mate, no rewards on my autobiography you have read most of called "The Little Dog That Wouldn't Let Go" Subtitled "God Never Let's Go.
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Comment from MissMerri
A story told so professionally I felt like I was reading it in a National magazine. Really excellent writing Jay. I found not one word I'd want to change. It had every quality I like to find in a story, including symbolism, metaphor, abundant, but meaningful conversations well written and believable, and a character I can relate to. Absolutely wonderful story telling.
reply by the author on 19-Feb-2021
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A story told so professionally I felt like I was reading it in a National magazine. Really excellent writing Jay. I found not one word I'd want to change. It had every quality I like to find in a story, including symbolism, metaphor, abundant, but meaningful conversations well written and believable, and a character I can relate to. Absolutely wonderful story telling.
Comment Written 18-Feb-2021
reply by the author on 19-Feb-2021
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Thank you so much, MissMerri. Your words have touched my heart and the six stars is nothing to sneeze at, either. LOL, thanks, though for your kindness. I appreciate you, so much!
Comment from Gloria ....
Very well constructed true story, Jay. All the nuances of your interactions are so beautifully delineated. The looks, the second thoughts, and then the bird, one eye black as ebony just dropped dead has gotta send out a few thoughts.
Terrific entry into this contest and I wish you great luck with the Committee. :)
Gloria
reply by the author on 18-Feb-2021
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Very well constructed true story, Jay. All the nuances of your interactions are so beautifully delineated. The looks, the second thoughts, and then the bird, one eye black as ebony just dropped dead has gotta send out a few thoughts.
Terrific entry into this contest and I wish you great luck with the Committee. :)
Gloria
Comment Written 18-Feb-2021
reply by the author on 18-Feb-2021
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Thank you, Gloria for your kindness and for the luscious 6 stars! Wow!
Comment from Elizabeth Emerald
Congrats on your prize, Jay. #11111111 in my book.
SSSSSStunnng. This had better win or I'll be PISSSSSSED. Magnificent narration, rife with rich imagery, poignancy, and compelling dialog. Brilliantly heartrending. Startling concluding scene. Cheerssssss. LIZ
reply by the author on 18-Feb-2021
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Congrats on your prize, Jay. #11111111 in my book.
SSSSSStunnng. This had better win or I'll be PISSSSSSED. Magnificent narration, rife with rich imagery, poignancy, and compelling dialog. Brilliantly heartrending. Startling concluding scene. Cheerssssss. LIZ
Comment Written 18-Feb-2021
reply by the author on 18-Feb-2021
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Whoa! Elizabeth! Thank you so much for your rating and your super kind words! A Six!
Comment from DonandVicki
A truly tragic true story that broke my heart. Jay you made this story come alive as I read the dialogue, you pulled me into this disfunction and I feel sorry for those involved.
reply by the author on 18-Feb-2021
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A truly tragic true story that broke my heart. Jay you made this story come alive as I read the dialogue, you pulled me into this disfunction and I feel sorry for those involved.
Comment Written 18-Feb-2021
reply by the author on 18-Feb-2021
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And on top of it all, the bird died! Thank you so much, Don and Vicki You are so kind and generous!
Comment from lancellot
Hard story to tell, Jay, but very real. Forty-none years is a long time. You do a great job setting the scene and building a small world where the reader can visualize every part and understand what exactly is happening and why. Sometimes people can know each other too well, and what was once cute becomes... something else.
A very TRUE life story.
reply by the author on 18-Feb-2021
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Hard story to tell, Jay, but very real. Forty-none years is a long time. You do a great job setting the scene and building a small world where the reader can visualize every part and understand what exactly is happening and why. Sometimes people can know each other too well, and what was once cute becomes... something else.
A very TRUE life story.
Comment Written 18-Feb-2021
reply by the author on 18-Feb-2021
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Yeah, cute is the first thing to get old! Thanks, Lance for your rating and for the six stars.